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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Sellcubus

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The obnoxiously obsequious sellcubus cleaved to me the moment I entered the store, offering a pitch on each item I browsed.

Etymology: sell + succubus (or incubus)

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Servillain

Created by: Scattercat

Pronunciation: sehr-VILL-en

Sentence: I've never been so annoyed in my life! That servillain has ruined that store for me forever.

Etymology: Servile means behaving in a fawning, obsequious manner. A villain is one who performs evil acts. Driving away potential customers through misguided devotion to the sanctity of the store seems an adequate summary of those two traits combined.

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Commissionary

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kumm ish yon errr eeee

Sentence: He tread the sales floor with commissionary zeal, emptying it within minutes

Etymology: commission, missionary

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COMMENTS:

cute - Nosila, 2009-12-01: 11:04:00

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Oversellsus

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o ver selz us

Sentence: The guy was everywhere. We were grocery shopping, in the produce aisle, when this geeky associate thrusts a box of strawberries at us and says, "Try these, they're berry nice!" We demer, but he's back 2 minutes later with green onions, saying, "Repeat after me, I'm the Italian Scallion!" He then shows us a potato ("Don't his eyes have a peel?") and a husk of corn ("Meet the kernel, he's all ears.") Finally, "Orange you as glad as I yam that you decided to turnip in my department?" and finally, "It's bean great to "C" you, you're hard to beet!" "Do you wanna date?"... At that point, I snapped and said, "Lettuce see what your Store Manager has to say about your oversellsus behavior!" To which the Store Manager replied, "Don't worry about Romaine, cos he's just trying to get a head. When he's not taking a leek here, he goes to comedy school as a caper. He wants to earn a higher celery and get a plum job. I just can't squash his dreams!"

Etymology: Overzealous (marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea) & Over (too much) & Sells Us (persuade somebody to accept something; do business; offer for sale as for one's livelihood;deliver to an enemy by treachery)

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COMMENTS:

overclever! - mweinmann, 2009-12-01: 07:50:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2009-12-01: 09:48:00

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Shopcreeper

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Shawp-kreep-err

Sentence: That shopcreeper was pushing me way too much. I grabbed that stupid block of cheese he was trying to sell me and shoved it right in his mouth. He now sells basketballs because he knows no one can stuff those in his mouth... I proved him wrong.

Etymology: Shopkeeper (owner of a shop that sells goods) + creep (an annoying and detestable person)

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COMMENTS:

I already gave my vote to peddlarpusher, but this is even better. - cohenarie, 2007-05-16: 10:51:00

Nice one. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:55:00

great ...awesome - pguse, 2007-06-01: 14:00:00

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Salessquasher

Created by: lpietroforte

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Sirenade

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Salesmanacle

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: sails/man/akl

Sentence: He was such a salesmanacle that I had to spin around in the revolving doors twice to get free

Etymology: salesman + manacle

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Offenseller

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /əˈfɛnˈsɛlɚ/

Sentence: Sadly, for every person who is pushed out of the store by an offenseller, there are two more who are convinced to buy something that they wouldn't have otherwise.

Etymology: From offensive + seller

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COMMENTS:

I voted already, but I like this one. An offenseller seems like an instoramus. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 19:55:00

Thanks. I seem to get that a lot if I decide to go to bed before 1 or 2am and end up making up my words the next morning. - ErWenn, 2007-05-16: 22:38:00

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Salesassassin

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

petaj That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James