Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: marwej - If you say it right, you'll sound like Elmer Fudd

Sentence: John and Mary found themselves becoming more distant from each other. It wasn't that they didn't care for each other deeply. The problem was that Mollie, their Norwegian Elkhound had taken to sleeping in their bed. Sure it was cute when she was a puppy and slept at the foot of the bed. As she got bigger and the weather got colder Mollie crept towards the pillows. She is no longer just a dog, she is a marrwedge. Now she is a full-fledged, cover-stealing, fur-shedding, intimacy-quelling bed hog.

Etymology: marriage (matrimony)+ wedge (a piece of wood, metal, or some other material having one thick end and tapering to a thin edge, that is driven between two objects or parts of an object to separate them)

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COMMENTS:

Does Mollie snore like my Rascal or steal your pillow if you get up to use the bathroom? - wayoffcenter, 2009-01-06: 04:47:00

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Created by: twocent

Pronunciation: flE-s-TAH

Sentence: It didn't matter how much whining he did or how many "discussions" were weathered, Dennis knew choosing to spend the night with Nina invariably meant another fleaesta with her cats.

Etymology: Fleaesta v. tr. combination of flea: a blood-sucking parasite that feeds on mammals and birds, known for its leaping ability siesta: a midday nap as taken in Spain and Latin America.

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COMMENTS:

Purrfect! Does Dennis live in CATalonia, Spain? - Nosila, 2009-01-06: 23:18:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: baad fel lo

Sentence: Baaraack Obaamaa had shared Cissie & Oscar's bed since he was a little lamb. Every night he jumped up onto the spread and cuddled in and became their baadfellow. The only problem was that now he was full grown and weighed a good 200 pounds, there was no room for him...he could no longer pull the wool over their eyes. Every night was an udder nightmare, as he kicked like Dan Merino in his sleep. "How can we tell him he's not human and needs to go into the farmyard and find himself a wife?", asked Cissie. "We just set him out and make him find his own way...it's tough love!", said Oscar. They enjoyed about 6 months of peace, until one cold night, their door was rammed open and in walked Baaraack Obaamaa, his Embraceable Ewe and their triplet lambs: Rambo, Ewelysses and José Fleeciano. It was when they all piled onto Cissie & Oscars bed and settled in for a nice warm sleep that Cissie & Oscar realized one thing. You really cannot get to sleep by counting sheep!

Etymology: Bedfelow (someone you share a bed with) & Baa (a sheep's cry)

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COMMENTS:

"Merino" - I got it - as in a breed of sheep. HA - good one! - karenanne, 2010-05-21: 15:20:00

Oh, Ewe...I am glad you herd of it. My sheep is a flock star! - Nosila, 2010-05-22: 01:10:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CRIT-er-pard

Sentence: Lucy and Lamar had raised their poodle, Pepe' since he was born and Pepe' believed they were all critterpards, equals in every regard and he joined them in all activities from meals to bedtime.

Etymology: Blend of critter (animal) and Pard (euphemism for partner)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: beest/stoh

Sentence: Johnny beastows his bed with his golden Labrador retriever who takes up three-quartes of the bed when fully stretched out.

Etymology: BEASTOW - verb - from BEAST (animal) + BESTOW (to share, apportion, give part)

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COMMENTS:

Also, the beast could be a stow-away... - mweinmann, 2009-01-06: 17:13:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: co dee PET ent

Sentence: You know how 1-year-olds move around a lot when they sleep and wind up in funny and cute positions? And how if you sleep with them, you sometimes end up with a foot or a butt in your face? Well, it isn't so cute when they are 8 and still in your bed, but taking up a lot more room, and you get kicked or punched all the time. So you have to feel bad for Indy Cysive, whose 8-year-old happened to be a chimpanzee who still insisted on sleeping in Indy's bed every night. Indy had even bought a special bed just for Harry the chimp, but every night when she tried to put Harry in it, he whimpered and wrapped his arms around her. Indy secretly missed those chimp baby years when he had needed her so much, and she was too much of a codepetent to say no to Harry. So the expensive pet bed remained unused. And almost every morning, Indy woke to find a fuzzy arm draped over her face. At least Harry was willing to keep his diapers on, since he did weigh 150 pounds by then.

Etymology: codependent + pet

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COMMENTS:

ooo ooh, aah aah...Indy (love her name) has my chimpathy! - Nosila, 2010-05-21: 17:57:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: In - sow - mmm - nee - ah

Sentence: Clarise the pig owned the bed. Ever since she was a piglet, she had been allowed to sleep in between Joyce and Phil and as she became larger, it became more and more difficult to sleep. Clarise constantly rolled over during the night, made loud hog snores, hogged the sheets, and squished them; leaving both of them with a horrible case of insowmnia.

Etymology: Insomnia (an inability to sleep, chronic sleeplessness) + Sow (An adult female hog)

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COMMENTS:

Still chuckling over the way you hammed it up. Hog snores! I can hear the noisy swhine over here. Cheers ... here's a glass of s-wine! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-06: 11:13:00

How now brown sow....cheers!! - mweinmann, 2009-01-06: 14:41:00

It's not a boaring story...it's a wiener! - Nosila, 2009-01-06: 23:27:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /bej-hog/

Sentence: Bandit had started out as a cute Border Collie puppy, but now he'd grown into a huge bedgehog. Not only did Bandit hog all the pillows and yank the comforter to the other side of the bed, but he had literally pushed Stewart out of his own bed three nights in a row. Stewart decided to seek professional help, and started wondering how hard it was to contact that 'It's Me Or the Dog' lady. What was her name again?...

Etymology: Bed - furniture for sleeping (from Common Germanic, badjam "sleeping place dug in the ground") + Hedgehog - small, spiny, insectivorous mammal (from German, hecke "hedge" + Cornish, hogh "swine")

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COMMENTS:

Great etymology! Very clever word play! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-13: 02:20:00

Throw a quillt over it. - petaj, 2008-03-13: 03:59:00

Hopefully in her, he will find a comforter! - Nosila, 2008-03-13: 19:43:00

Bandit, he ain't nothing but a hound dog! Once again, great etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-13: 21:56:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: men aj aree a twa

Sentence: Have you herd? When Oxsana and Bronco had adopted Elsie, the little cow had curled up on their bed. But now as a full-grown cow, she was udderly too big. Oxsana found that her sheets rustled, she got a cramp in her calf and she was never in the mooed. Her main beef was that Bronco would never become a fodder and they could never live happily heifer after.

Etymology: Menagerie (collection of animals) & Wordplay on Ménage à trois (French for sex between 3 people or three people sharing a household)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: mooo dwar

Sentence: The boudoir had become a moodoir ever since this bizarre menagerieatrois (sory nosila) had occured, making it seem at the same time more and less horny an establishment

Etymology: boudoir, moooooooo!

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COMMENTS:

toooooo funny - you milked this cartoon for all it's worth - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-06: 10:45:00

Great word, even if no one is in the mooood! - Nosila, 2009-01-06: 23:30:00

Udderly inspired! - metrohumanx, 2009-01-16: 07:51:00

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