Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: u til layt

Sentence: In his Victim's Statement, Mervin could only lay blame on himself for the disfiguring stapler incident. He did indeed unwittingly youtilate himself by pointing the offending sharp electric stapler towards his groin area before firing at will. Sure he couldn't have kids now, but at least he was able to keep his legs together. His fastenating career at Staples was now secure!

Etymology: You (as in yourself, no one else;second person singular) & Mutilate (destroy or injure severely;alter so as to make unrecognizable)

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 00:00:00

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Created by: catgrin

Pronunciation: ahyd-l-joor, ahyd-l-joor-ee

Sentence: How I managed to idlejure both my legs while folding laundry I'll never understand, but I guess that's the nature of idlejuries. One minute you're standing there minding your own business, the next you're in a body cast!

Etymology: idle + injure

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: orto-BASH-full

Sentence: "Have you been in a car accident?" she asked on seeing the family with plaster casts, limps and bruises. Autobashfully he replied, "no we were just having a cup of tea on the verandah when the kids called the dog and it came charging up, knocking me off my seat. I stood up pushing the table back and it fell through the decking and down went the rest of the family too".

Etymology: auto (self) + bash (hit hard) + bashful (embarrassed)

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Created by: queenjane75

Pronunciation: said-en-jury

Sentence: It was a rather confusing case for the public, but in the end both suicide and murder were ruled out as the cause of the bloody scene. According to the autopsy report, it was a rare, mortal sedenjury caused by an all-too-full exploding can of beer that did Bob in. Who knew couch-surfing could be so dangerous?

Etymology: Sedentary+Injury=sedenjury

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/jur/sheea

Sentence: Mark suffered from chronic injurtia. He often injured himself surfing the internet or changing stations on the remote.

Etymology: injure + inertia

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dough-maim

Sentence: Willard became king of his domaim when he slipped on wet linoleum on the way to his porcelin throne. Embarassed to admit the true cause of his injury, he quickly fabricated a more exciting story so his friends wouldn't think he was a complete idiot.

Etymology: domain: territory, environment, kingdom + maim: to injure, wound, disable

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: ack-said-in-tear-ree

Sentence: The first thing Robert noticed when he regained consciousness after the accedentary was that he had lost the race. Then he noticed the large glinting shards of the glass coffee table, reflecting images of tiny go-carts zooming past an imaginary camera. He slowly righted himself, his face crusted in blood and glass. There on the screen, displayed in repeating 1080p glory was the turn on Koopa Troopa Beach where he had lost the entire affair. Upon hitting the shortcut ramp dead on and rocketing into the dank tunnel, his excitement overwhelmed him, and with his hands thrust toward the heavens, mocking Zeus with his three-proged controller like a vengeful Poseidon brandishing his trident, he knew he alone reigned over this beach. Every crab and palm tree must now pay fealty to his awesome might. He triggered his stored lightning item for effect and basked in the power. And that was when he had the stroke.

Etymology: accident + sedentary

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:49:00

Great story - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:52:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: wərkouch

Sentence: Every time Wendell goes to the gym to get in shape he ends up participating in a workouch. Its not that he doesn’t believe in warming up or starting slow and building up. He just doesn’t get that far. Last week he sprained his wrist opening the lock on his locker.

Etymology: workout (a session of vigorous physical exercise or training) + ouch (used to express pain)

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: in/ka/pass'/i/tate

Sentence: Brian told eveyone he had broken his leg by diving in front of a speeding car to save a small child. He was too embarrassed to admit he had incapassitated himself by tripping over a speed bump in the parking lot.

Etymology: incapacitate + ass

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:50:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ad-vert-eh-dent

Sentence: You would think Roger would have been better served if he had stayed in bed this morning. Or perhaps that wouldn't have mattered either. That is because Roger was a schlemiel. It seemed as if every normal everyday thing he did, he got injured. He was so clumsy that the he didn't have to show his insurance card at the local hospital. In fact, the emergency room looked more like the bar at Cheers whenever he was rolled in for some inadvertadent, real or imagined. They couldn't wait to hear what mundane activity happened this time. Would it be his toothbrush needing to be removed from deep within his nasal cavity, like the last time he came? There was a running bet within the facility.

Etymology: inadvertent, not attentive; heedless + accident, something that happens by chance, mishap

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COMMENTS:

Haven't we all known guys like Roger...good story. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:44:00

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