Verboticisms

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: som/no/lem/demic

Sentence: A somnolemdemic experiences injuries caused by twisted sheets and bed bugs.

Etymology: somnolent (asleep) + endemic

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ad-vert-eh-dent

Sentence: You would think Roger would have been better served if he had stayed in bed this morning. Or perhaps that wouldn't have mattered either. That is because Roger was a schlemiel. It seemed as if every normal everyday thing he did, he got injured. He was so clumsy that the he didn't have to show his insurance card at the local hospital. In fact, the emergency room looked more like the bar at Cheers whenever he was rolled in for some inadvertadent, real or imagined. They couldn't wait to hear what mundane activity happened this time. Would it be his toothbrush needing to be removed from deep within his nasal cavity, like the last time he came? There was a running bet within the facility.

Etymology: inadvertent, not attentive; heedless + accident, something that happens by chance, mishap

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COMMENTS:

Haven't we all known guys like Roger...good story. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:44:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: orto-BASH-full

Sentence: "Have you been in a car accident?" she asked on seeing the family with plaster casts, limps and bruises. Autobashfully he replied, "no we were just having a cup of tea on the verandah when the kids called the dog and it came charging up, knocking me off my seat. I stood up pushing the table back and it fell through the decking and down went the rest of the family too".

Etymology: auto (self) + bash (hit hard) + bashful (embarrassed)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: harm ill ee ate

Sentence: Stanley felt like he was born with a large "L" for Loser on his forehead. No one could harmiliate themself the way he could. He had lost every job he had ever worked at and injured himself over and over in the process. Like the time he got 3rd degree burns working at a fast food place, bobbing for French fries. Or the time he crashed his taxi cab by backing up at great speed into the police car that had pulled him over for speeding. The impact had caused him to crack his nose open on his own steering wheel and get 2 black eyes. Or the time he was sitting on the glass of the office photocopier to copy his bare bum, when the glass shattered and splintered into his flesh. Or the time he had worked at the bowling alley and got his fingers stuck in the holes of the ball that he was demonstrating for some kids. He went flying down the alley and into the pinsetter machine. He now knew where the terms "spare tire","gutter mouth", "pins & needles" and "split lip" came from. Yes, Stanley spent so much time at the local emergency room, that the staff had bought him his own coffee mug, just so they could take turns cracking up over his incident reports. But all that was about to change. Stanley had been hired to do his dream job. No more harmiliation for him...it would be someone else's turn. Yes, Stanley had been hired as a consultant for the Workers Compensation Board!

Etymology: harm (any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. or the act of damaging something or someone) & humiliate (cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of or embarrass)

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COMMENTS:

Yes, but will Stanley now get a paper cut on his eye, stab himself with stapler, or even smash his finger on the copy machine lid? - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:17:00

Most likely given his track record...I forgot about the time he worked at the butchers and accidentally backed up into the meat grinder, which made him get a little behind in his work...Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:41:00

Good one! - Mustang, 2008-04-16: 05:15:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: wərkouch

Sentence: Every time Wendell goes to the gym to get in shape he ends up participating in a workouch. Its not that he doesn’t believe in warming up or starting slow and building up. He just doesn’t get that far. Last week he sprained his wrist opening the lock on his locker.

Etymology: workout (a session of vigorous physical exercise or training) + ouch (used to express pain)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: zip lash

Sentence: When Henry accidentally caught himself in the fly of his pants(ouch), he jerked his head down so quickly to see what he had done, that he gave himself ziplash.

Etymology: Zip (zipper, fly, fastener of clothing) & Whiplash (an injury to the neck as a result of rapid acceleration or deceleration)

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: ack-said-in-tear-ree

Sentence: The first thing Robert noticed when he regained consciousness after the accedentary was that he had lost the race. Then he noticed the large glinting shards of the glass coffee table, reflecting images of tiny go-carts zooming past an imaginary camera. He slowly righted himself, his face crusted in blood and glass. There on the screen, displayed in repeating 1080p glory was the turn on Koopa Troopa Beach where he had lost the entire affair. Upon hitting the shortcut ramp dead on and rocketing into the dank tunnel, his excitement overwhelmed him, and with his hands thrust toward the heavens, mocking Zeus with his three-proged controller like a vengeful Poseidon brandishing his trident, he knew he alone reigned over this beach. Every crab and palm tree must now pay fealty to his awesome might. He triggered his stored lightning item for effect and basked in the power. And that was when he had the stroke.

Etymology: accident + sedentary

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:49:00

Great story - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:52:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hak sid dent

Sentence: Although in full body cast after his mishap, Steve was lucky to be alive. He had accessed secret Defense Dept. records and his hackcident was as a result of a professional visit by some burly, zealous Marine MP's. Semper Fi!

Etymology: Hack (To gain access to (a computer file or network) illegally or without authorization) & Accident (a mishap; especially one causing injury or death)

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ôr'dn-ou'ē

Sentence: Kip couldn't believe the pain of the muscle strain in his lower back. He had been in fights and car wrecks, and had sufferred various wounds in them as well as during his stint as a military policeman in Saigon, but this was just an ordinowie-a channel-changing injury-he'd pulled his back reaching for the remote.

Etymology: 'Ord,' Army post in Monterey Bay, California; 'inow,' var. on the mantra of the know-it-all; 'ie,' abbr. for id est, latin, 'that is.'

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COMMENTS:

interesting ety, there! - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:12:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: u til layt

Sentence: In his Victim's Statement, Mervin could only lay blame on himself for the disfiguring stapler incident. He did indeed unwittingly youtilate himself by pointing the offending sharp electric stapler towards his groin area before firing at will. Sure he couldn't have kids now, but at least he was able to keep his legs together. His fastenating career at Staples was now secure!

Etymology: You (as in yourself, no one else;second person singular) & Mutilate (destroy or injure severely;alter so as to make unrecognizable)

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 00:00:00

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