Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôfrakchərd

Sentence: Jimmy doesn’t really want to talk about his latest injury. Apparently he is embarrassed that he coughractured his finger while picking his nose.

Etymology: cough (expel air from the lungs with a sudden sharp sound) + fratcured (the cracking or breaking of a hard object or material)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: sha-GRIN-jry

Sentence: Elwood suffered yet another chagrinjury when he got his finger caught in the whisk attachment on his mixer, jerked the mixer off the counter wherein it fell on his toes, and while dancing about in pain knocked himself senseless when his head whacked into the open cupboard door.

Etymology: Blend of 'chagrin' (a feeling of vexation, marked by disappointment or humiliation) and 'injury'

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COMMENTS:

What a klutz! Good one. - Nosila, 2009-06-01: 14:37:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: misˈsnap

Sentence: It doesn't take much for Jimmie to create a missnap; a cough, a sneeze, a turn of the head. It can be dangerous for him to tie his shoes. Somehow he doesn't think of Rice Krispies when he hears snap, crackle or pop. Pop and lock is not a dance style. It's a lifestyle.

Etymology: misstep (a clumsy or badly judged step) + snap (break or cause to break suddenly and completely, typically with a sharp cracking sound)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: harm ill ee ate

Sentence: Stanley felt like he was born with a large "L" for Loser on his forehead. No one could harmiliate themself the way he could. He had lost every job he had ever worked at and injured himself over and over in the process. Like the time he got 3rd degree burns working at a fast food place, bobbing for French fries. Or the time he crashed his taxi cab by backing up at great speed into the police car that had pulled him over for speeding. The impact had caused him to crack his nose open on his own steering wheel and get 2 black eyes. Or the time he was sitting on the glass of the office photocopier to copy his bare bum, when the glass shattered and splintered into his flesh. Or the time he had worked at the bowling alley and got his fingers stuck in the holes of the ball that he was demonstrating for some kids. He went flying down the alley and into the pinsetter machine. He now knew where the terms "spare tire","gutter mouth", "pins & needles" and "split lip" came from. Yes, Stanley spent so much time at the local emergency room, that the staff had bought him his own coffee mug, just so they could take turns cracking up over his incident reports. But all that was about to change. Stanley had been hired to do his dream job. No more harmiliation for him...it would be someone else's turn. Yes, Stanley had been hired as a consultant for the Workers Compensation Board!

Etymology: harm (any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. or the act of damaging something or someone) & humiliate (cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of or embarrass)

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COMMENTS:

Yes, but will Stanley now get a paper cut on his eye, stab himself with stapler, or even smash his finger on the copy machine lid? - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:17:00

Most likely given his track record...I forgot about the time he worked at the butchers and accidentally backed up into the meat grinder, which made him get a little behind in his work...Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:41:00

Good one! - Mustang, 2008-04-16: 05:15:00

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: inn sull twin jerr eee

Sentence: Her latest insultwinjury occurred due to her using tweezers while driving. it gave new meaning to "keeping an eye on the road"

Etymology: insult to injury.

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COMMENTS:

great twist - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:51:00

It's like when you put mascara on while driving...or so I'm told...good one. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:56:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: wərkouch

Sentence: Every time Wendell goes to the gym to get in shape he ends up participating in a workouch. Its not that he doesn’t believe in warming up or starting slow and building up. He just doesn’t get that far. Last week he sprained his wrist opening the lock on his locker.

Etymology: workout (a session of vigorous physical exercise or training) + ouch (used to express pain)

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Created by: balku4

Pronunciation: pai-nohr-mee-ca-le-si-stic

Sentence: i got Painormicalasistic yesterday by jumping up and down.

Etymology: none

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: freek-seh-dent

Sentence: Being a wholly uncoordinated and clumsy oaf, Manfred seems to suffer one freaccident after another, goofy injuries that for anyone else would be very rare.

Etymology: Blend of 'freak' (A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular) and 'accident' (an unforeseen and unplanned mishap)

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: mag neh dent

Sentence: Phil was a congenital magnadent. To say he was accident prone would be an understatement. Accidents seemed to find him in the most mundane and safe places. It was a good thing he had insurance, because otherwise he's be in quite a bind. His policy has several riders on it that prohibit him from climbing steps, riding bikes with any amount of wheels, crossing the street, eating while walking, and hundreds of other scenarios that indicate a troubled past.

Etymology: magnet + accident

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COMMENTS:

Phil probably could not walk past a fridge without sticking to it...Good One! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:49:00

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