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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Eloquesia

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: ello-QWEE-shuh

Sentence: Dr. Lonnigan's eloquesia wasn't putting Harry at ease. In fact, his muttercal [filtered through medical apparatus] responses were painful to make and - to his ears - unintelligible.

Etymology: Eloqu(ence) + (anesth)esia EDIT: it occured to me that the word Queasy is sort of in there. I know I get a little queasy when the doctor starts talking to me.

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COMMENTS:

Will Doc Lonegan's eloquesia, cause Harry to have alopecia?! Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-16: 23:02:00

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Jabbertalky

Created by: TheFlawlessWord

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Beware the Jabbertalk, my twit! The hose that sucks, the drills that buzz! Beware the dental bird, and spit The voluminous cottonmouth fuzz!"

Etymology: Apologies to Lewis Carroll

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Healspiel

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Heel-speel

Sentence: Until he met Dr Fang, Bob thought that Dr Payne's leechspeak was doctrivial. But after a few minutes with Fang, Bob soon realized that, despite all the healspiel, it hurts just as much to have a tooth extracted as it does to have one pulled.

Etymology: heal: to make better,well & spiel: plausible, glib talk; patter, line of gab. Doctrivial: blend of doctor, doctrine and trivial.

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COMMENTS:

Showoff, great job. - fourgirls, 2007-10-16: 09:59:00

how true - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

nice blending - scrabbelicious, 2007-10-18: 07:44:00

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Izeartless

Created by: brimuth

Pronunciation: is - art- less (is heartless)

Sentence: As soon as the the medico inserted the needle the izeartless smalltalk poured from his mouth.

Etymology:

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Obligastory

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/story

Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.

Etymology: obligatory + story

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Obligastory

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/storee

Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.

Etymology: obligatory + story

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Unnecesspeak

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Un-ne-ciss-speak

Sentence: I longed for a speedy outcome which I knew was unlikely due to a constant barrage of unnecesspeak.

Etymology: Unnecessary Speak.

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Yogurtshove

Created by: greenplaideyes

Pronunciation:

Sentence: My crazy dentist never quits her yogurtshoving when she wants to distract me from her horrid adventures about my cavernous mouth.

Etymology: yogurt-oozy shove-it's being forced upon you

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Anesthymology

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Uh-nes-thym-ology

Sentence: The dentist absentmindedly practiced anesthymology when he attempted to distract his patients while he worked.

Etymology: Anesthesia- ology

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Yackattack

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak

Sentence: During his dental procedures Elbert knew he was going to be hammered with a never ending yackattack by his dentist who never seemed to run out of questions and comments.

Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about or go to work on somethng vigorously)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James