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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Faqsdicine

vmalcolm

Created by: vmalcolm

Pronunciation: /fæksdsin/

Sentence: While she was attending him, she engaged in a little faqsdicine to relax him a bit.

Etymology: FAQSDICINE. From FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) + Medicine (the science which relates to the prevention, cure, or alleviation of disease)

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Eloquesia

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: ello-QWEE-shuh

Sentence: Dr. Lonnigan's eloquesia wasn't putting Harry at ease. In fact, his muttercal [filtered through medical apparatus] responses were painful to make and - to his ears - unintelligible.

Etymology: Eloqu(ence) + (anesth)esia EDIT: it occured to me that the word Queasy is sort of in there. I know I get a little queasy when the doctor starts talking to me.

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COMMENTS:

Will Doc Lonegan's eloquesia, cause Harry to have alopecia?! Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-16: 23:02:00

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Dentachatter

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dentachatər

Sentence: To avoid the dentachatter Ron would sometimes pretend to doze off. Even when he flinched the dentist allowed him to continue the ruse.

Etymology: dental (of or relating to the teeth) + chatter (talk rapidly or incessantly about trivial matters)

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Stumblemumble

Created by: sarabriggs

Pronunciation: stum-ble-mum-ble

Sentence: this situation couldn't be any worse because you have at least twenty fingers in your mouth, including grinding power tools that cant touch your toungue. so talking in the back of your throat is all that can really go on. maybe you should become a ventriliquist and learn how to speak correctly without moving your lips. stumble and mumble over all the words you can get out you ventriliquist you.

Etymology:

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Blahnaesthesia

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: blah nast eee zya

Sentence: The blahnaesthesia ended up being more painful than the filling.

Etymology: anaesthesia, blah

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Jabberflossy

Created by: wordslikevenom

Pronunciation: Jab-ber-floss-ee

Sentence: The dental nurse yanked the tape from the spool and pulling it taut, sliced down into Dick's incisors, grinning as she sawed to-and-fro. He could taste the blood from his gums running down into the back of his mouth. "One, two! One, two! And through and through the vorpal floss went snicker-snack! She left him dead, and with his head she went galumphing back". As the jabberflossy flowed so did the puddle beneath Dick's seat ...

Etymology: Jabber - To talk rapidly, unintelligibly, or idly. Floss - dental floss

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Spitchat

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: spit-chat

Sentence: Harold hated having to spitchat with the dentist when he had a mouth full of drool from novicaine and dental instruments jammed under his gums.

Etymology: wordplay on chitchat: an informal conversation

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Afflictscussion

Created by: amandaprater

Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun

Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.

Etymology:

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Ciadle

Created by: kenzieg

Pronunciation: see-addle

Sentence: Stop trying to ciadle with me.

Etymology: none

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Wompachat

Created by: danny

Pronunciation: wom-pa-chat

Sentence: The wompachat eased the dental patient.

Etymology: chat- a conversion

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James