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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Yackattack

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak

Sentence: During his dental procedures Elbert knew he was going to be hammered with a never ending yackattack by his dentist who never seemed to run out of questions and comments.

Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about or go to work on somethng vigorously)

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Whynecology

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: wi/neck/ol/ojee

Sentence: It's bad enough for us ladies to endure what we do annually. Would it be too much to ask that we don't have to also engage in meaningless whynecology?

Etymology: Why? Why, oh why????????? :) and Gynecology

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Eyedoangiveashitchat

Created by: Lolagrrl

Pronunciation: Eye-doan-give-ay-shit-chat

Sentence: The two convention-goers made eyedoangiveashitchat while waiting for the elevator to take them to Karaoke night at the hotel's fireside lounge. Neither were enriched by the experience

Etymology: The name says it all... ;-)

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COMMENTS:

Btw: I consider singing Karaoke at a Hotel lounge to be an intimate, awkward AND painful procedure. ;D - Lolagrrl, 2007-10-18: 15:31:00

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Drivelect

Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation: driv-a-leck

Sentence: I sat there helpless, having to listen to my dentist's drivelect for hours!

Etymology:

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Chatquilizer

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: chat-kwil-eye-zer

Sentence: she had become quite adept at chatquilizing her patients

Etymology: chat, tranquilizer

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Afflictscussion

Created by: amandaprater

Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun

Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.

Etymology:

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Mediblather

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: medi-blathər

Sentence: The treatment was bad enough. The mediblather was about to make him scream. The only thing that was mildly distracting him from the pain was the thought of choking the shallow life out of this jabbermonkey.

Etymology: medical (of or relating to the science of medicine, or to the treatment of illness and injuries) + blather (talk long-windedly without making very much sense)

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Prostagrabgab

Created by: aayeye

Pronunciation: prŏs'tĭ-'grăb-găb

Sentence: Dr. Stinky would not shut up during my prostate exam. He definately has the gift of prostagrabgab.

Etymology: Postate+grab= prostate exam gab= chit chat during said exam

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James