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DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.
Verboticisms
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Healspiel
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: Heel-speel
Sentence: Until he met Dr Fang, Bob thought that Dr Payne's leechspeak was doctrivial. But after a few minutes with Fang, Bob soon realized that, despite all the healspiel, it hurts just as much to have a tooth extracted as it does to have one pulled.
Etymology: heal: to make better,well & spiel: plausible, glib talk; patter, line of gab. Doctrivial: blend of doctor, doctrine and trivial.
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COMMENTS:
Showoff, great job. - fourgirls, 2007-10-16: 09:59:00
how true - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00
nice blending - scrabbelicious, 2007-10-18: 07:44:00
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Ciadle
Created by: kenzieg
Pronunciation: see-addle
Sentence: Stop trying to ciadle with me.
Etymology: none
Jabwitter
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Jabb-wit-er
Sentence: Dr B. Kindly always resorted to the tried and tested method of jabwitter to put his patients at ease while injecting them. He would ask them trivial questions, such as, where they were going for their holiday or what they intended to have for lunch to distract their attention away from the pain. After twenty years in the profession he found this was the best tactic to use on most people.
Etymology: Jab(a hypodermic injection) + Witter(to speak about trivial matters) = Jabwitter
Whynecology
Created by: lumina
Pronunciation: wi/neck/ol/ojee
Sentence: It's bad enough for us ladies to endure what we do annually. Would it be too much to ask that we don't have to also engage in meaningless whynecology?
Etymology: Why? Why, oh why????????? :) and Gynecology
Zideronker
Created by: Nickvoreas
Pronunciation: Zid-er-onk-er
Sentence: the zideronkerist dentist continued to talk to her patient even while she stuffed his mouth full of tools.
Etymology:
Therapalaver
Created by: karenanne
Pronunciation: THAYR ah puh LAV er
Sentence: Believe it or not, the exercises for my burned hand weren't nearly as painful as the therapalaver I had to be subjected to during the treatments. At least talking about the record-setting snowfall in our area, how difficult it was to drive to the clinic, etc., gave me about two weeks off from listening to celebrity gossip....
Etymology: therapy + palaver (superfluous or idle talk)
Medirap
Created by: fourgirls
Pronunciation: Medi rap
Sentence: Craig was challenged by the medirap of his dentist. His usual big mouth was frustrated.
Etymology: Medical, rap
Qandaches
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kew and ayks
Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!
Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)
Splatterpatter
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur
Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore
Etymology: patter, splatter
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James