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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Docquisition

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After checking my chart, the gynocologist began the docquisition.

Etymology: doctor+inquisition

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COMMENTS:

petaj Could almost be a tax audit. - petaj, 2007-10-16: 09:04:00

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Awkwords

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: awk-werds

Sentence: Jim is not a fan of dental appointments, not because of a concern for pain or the loss of productive time. What he hates is the awkwords that fill the room as the procedures progress. It's difficult, at best, to carry on a conversation with fingers, water spray and other tools in your mouth.

Etymology: awkward (lacking social graces or manners) + words (speech or talk)

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Yackattack

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak

Sentence: During his dental procedures Elbert knew he was going to be hammered with a never ending yackattack by his dentist who never seemed to run out of questions and comments.

Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about or go to work on somethng vigorously)

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Drivelish

Created by: Boomertoo

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The dental staff's drivelish did not distract him from anxiously awaiting the procedure.

Etymology:

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Proprattlaction

Created by: jmckays

Pronunciation: pro-prattl-aktion

Sentence: The doctor's proprattlaction proved ineffective as the scope slid into an intimate location no one but myself and my closest lovers had gone before...

Etymology: professional; prattle; distraction

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Eloquesia

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: ello-QWEE-shuh

Sentence: Dr. Lonnigan's eloquesia wasn't putting Harry at ease. In fact, his muttercal [filtered through medical apparatus] responses were painful to make and - to his ears - unintelligible.

Etymology: Eloqu(ence) + (anesth)esia EDIT: it occured to me that the word Queasy is sort of in there. I know I get a little queasy when the doctor starts talking to me.

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COMMENTS:

Will Doc Lonegan's eloquesia, cause Harry to have alopecia?! Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-16: 23:02:00

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Afflictscussion

Created by: amandaprater

Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun

Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.

Etymology:

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Yackattack

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak

Sentence: When Bertrand went in for his dental appointments he knew he was going to be bombarded with a yackattack from the dentist who never seemed to run out of inane questions and commments.

Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about (a task) or go to work on (a thing) vigorously)

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Yogurtshove

Created by: greenplaideyes

Pronunciation:

Sentence: My crazy dentist never quits her yogurtshoving when she wants to distract me from her horrid adventures about my cavernous mouth.

Etymology: yogurt-oozy shove-it's being forced upon you

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Examoration

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: igzamôrāshən

Sentence: It was only being subjected to an examoration that William found out that Dr. Bob was a member of Toastmasters and due to deliver a speech that evening. Somehow he isn*t sure he is better off knowing everything he now knows about newts.

Etymology: examination (a detailed inspection or investigation) + oration (a formal speech, esp. one given on a ceremonial occasion)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James