Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks yor syes

Sentence: When Vicki left Victor, he knew he had to vexyoursize and change his appearance in order to win her back or attract someone new. He tried diets, exercise and really could not afford surgery. Depressed he went into a bar to drown his sorrows. Feeling a little tipsy and slurring his words a bit, he stumbled home in the dark. He passed a church and decided to pray to the angels for a new look. He awoke the next day in the church and was stunned to see his reflection in a mirror. He looked worse! How could this be? At that point an old Irish Priest appeared at his side and said, "My son, you must be careful what you ask for when praying to the angels! Your speech was so slurred that they misunderstood you. You asked for a rose, instead of a new nose, so they gave you a big red one. You asked for a gin, instead of a new chin, so they gave you a double. You asked for bigger ears, they thought you said big arrears, so now you're broke. You asked for new hair, they thought you said a good scare, so now you have been neutered. You asked for new legs, they thought you said new pegs, so you can hobble home on two wooden ones. You asked for slimmer thighs, they thought you said dimmer eyes, so now you'll need strong glasses. You asked for a firm jaw, they thought you said a claw, so now you'll look talon-ted!"

Etymology: Vex (change the arrangement or position of;disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress) & Ex (former partner) & Your Size (body image, appearance) & exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: Su - per - fae - shul

Sentence: Nancy was in her 40s and newly single, so she made her appointment at the clinic to be superfacialled.

Etymology: Superficial - Facial, or other means of rejuvenation

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad apt

Sentence: After his wife of 20 years dumped him for the pool boy,Kevin decided to enjoy himself and adapt a swinging bachelor lifestyle. His after-work beer therapy sessions gave him a much larger girth than before and his attempts to sadapt to the hedonistic life,made his fsvourite song, "The girls get prettier at closing time..."

Etymology: Sad (bad; unfortunate) & Adapt (make fit for, or change to suit a new purpose)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ab/poll/ish

Sentence: The only way to abpolish her demons and win back her self esteem was to throw herself wholeheartedly into sculpting a new physique.

Etymology: ab (as in abdominal) + polish + abolish

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COMMENTS:

Anuddergudun'! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-20: 10:02:00

I must abpologize - I found this one tough so I had to milk it for all it was worth - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:35:00

Abpolish doesn't have the snarky pejorative connotations. Yours is best! - skeeterzirra, 2007-09-20: 14:23:00

Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:46:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dih-va-mawr-fuh-sis

Sentence: It only took Larry a couple of weeks to end his marriage. The divomorphosis to a slim, trim date-ready dude is going to take a bit longer.

Etymology: divorce (split-up of marriage ) + metamorphosis (conversion, transformation )

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: met/uh/di/vohrs/sis

Sentence: To get back in the game after his marriage fell apart, he had to go through a metadivorcesis to redefine himself physically, mentally and spiritually.

Etymology: METADIVORCESIS - from - METAMORPHOSIS (any complete change in appearance, character, or circumstances) + DIVORCE (total separation, or disunion)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Di-vor-suk-shun

Sentence: When her divorce alimony came through, Jean decided to put some towards getting divorsuction, the new plastic surgery designed especially for the newly divorced in order to lose weight, ready to join the dating circuit again.

Etymology: Divorce(divor) + liposuction (suction) = Divorsuction

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Created by: hyperborean

Pronunciation: sue per FAY shuhl

Sentence: Her tears were beginning to carve channels, but instead of facing her pain, she made another appointment for a superfacial.

Etymology: Based on "superficial": of, affecting or being on the surface. (super: exceeding a norm) + (facial: a cosmetic treatment for the face)

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Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: ree-jek-shun-per-cep-shun

Sentence: Man, your rejectionperception is really showing. You didn't have those pecs yesterday, and you were bald until the day before that. Man, get some therapy, or a woman, before there's nothing original of you left.

Etymology: Rejection, (refuse, dismiss.) Perception, (sensing, being conscious of or way of seeing things.)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: trans-FIG-yur-ence

Sentence: Following a messy divorce that included a great deal of harsh criticism about his 'sagging' appearance, Martin began a rigorous program of transfigurence, and finding a great deal of success with his efforts has become a real hunk and is in great demand in the dating game.

Etymology: Based on the word 'transfigure' (vt. transform outwardly and usually for the better)

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