Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks yor syes

Sentence: When Vicki left Victor, he knew he had to vexyoursize and change his appearance in order to win her back or attract someone new. He tried diets, exercise and really could not afford surgery. Depressed he went into a bar to drown his sorrows. Feeling a little tipsy and slurring his words a bit, he stumbled home in the dark. He passed a church and decided to pray to the angels for a new look. He awoke the next day in the church and was stunned to see his reflection in a mirror. He looked worse! How could this be? At that point an old Irish Priest appeared at his side and said, "My son, you must be careful what you ask for when praying to the angels! Your speech was so slurred that they misunderstood you. You asked for a rose, instead of a new nose, so they gave you a big red one. You asked for a gin, instead of a new chin, so they gave you a double. You asked for bigger ears, they thought you said big arrears, so now you're broke. You asked for new hair, they thought you said a good scare, so now you have been neutered. You asked for new legs, they thought you said new pegs, so you can hobble home on two wooden ones. You asked for slimmer thighs, they thought you said dimmer eyes, so now you'll need strong glasses. You asked for a firm jaw, they thought you said a claw, so now you'll look talon-ted!"

Etymology: Vex (change the arrangement or position of;disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress) & Ex (former partner) & Your Size (body image, appearance) & exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: met/uh/di/vohrs/sis

Sentence: To get back in the game after his marriage fell apart, he had to go through a metadivorcesis to redefine himself physically, mentally and spiritually.

Etymology: METADIVORCESIS - from - METAMORPHOSIS (any complete change in appearance, character, or circumstances) + DIVORCE (total separation, or disunion)

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: born/again

Sentence: He decided that the only solution to his lethargy was to sign up to the bourneagain program which guaranteed a body like Jason Bourne

Etymology: born again + Bourne

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad apt

Sentence: After his wife of 20 years dumped him for the pool boy,Kevin decided to enjoy himself and adapt a swinging bachelor lifestyle. His after-work beer therapy sessions gave him a much larger girth than before and his attempts to sadapt to the hedonistic life,made his fsvourite song, "The girls get prettier at closing time..."

Etymology: Sad (bad; unfortunate) & Adapt (make fit for, or change to suit a new purpose)

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Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: Su - per - fae - shul

Sentence: Nancy was in her 40s and newly single, so she made her appointment at the clinic to be superfacialled.

Etymology: Superficial - Facial, or other means of rejuvenation

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: men dohrr finns

Sentence: She started to feel good about herself after the first 10k, the mendorphins kicked in as she saw the guys in the mirror checking out her tush

Etymology: endorphins, mend, men

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Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: tahrt-uh-fish-uhl-ng

Sentence: Bill was tartificialing to impress Monica who was the new girl in the office. But Ken, a guy in the office, became suspicious of Bill's self improvement.

Etymology: tart - (garish,overdone ex. to tart up ones appearance.) + artificial + ing

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he achieved that look with tartificial sweeteners - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:53:00

I hope Bill's not a tartificious tataram! (A foolish old man,esp one with sex on his mind- Rasta slang (1930) - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:51:00

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Created by: cpjax

Pronunciation: AnO- vor-CiC

Sentence: after he divorced he went on an anovorcic diet

Etymology: anorexic plus divorce

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: trans-FIG-yur-ence

Sentence: Following a messy divorce that included a great deal of harsh criticism about his 'sagging' appearance, Martin began a rigorous program of transfigurence, and finding a great deal of success with his efforts has become a real hunk and is in great demand in the dating game.

Etymology: Based on the word 'transfigure' (vt. transform outwardly and usually for the better)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dih-va-mawr-fuh-sis

Sentence: It only took Larry a couple of weeks to end his marriage. The divomorphosis to a slim, trim date-ready dude is going to take a bit longer.

Etymology: divorce (split-up of marriage ) + metamorphosis (conversion, transformation )

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