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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Jestugh

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jess-t-ure

Sentence: Harry had fancied Suzie for ages, so when he saw that she was having troube starting her car he swiftly offered to help. He began push the car and soon got it going , unfortunately he pushed so hard that he fell over and landed headfirst in a muddy puddle. As he stood up all he could here was Suzie's hysterical laughter, it was a good thing that his face was covered in mud so that she could not see his embarrassment.

Etymology: Jest(Joke)+ Ugh(an exclamation of horror) = Jestugh (play on gesture)

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Oafsistance

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: oaf-sis-tins

Sentence: "Let me be of oafsistance" were the last words she heard before sitting down in the chair that was no longer there.

Etymology: oaf, assistance

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COMMENTS:

petaj Oaffer heavens sakes - petaj, 2007-10-26: 09:22:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-26: 12:06:00

Clever! - mryder, 2007-10-26: 15:28:00

Ilike it a lot. Good sentence,too! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:49:00

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Gomeresqe

Created by: svnfsvn

Pronunciation: based on gomer/homer

Sentence: I appeared gomeresge when my pants ripped during changing tire on freeway.

Etymology:

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Chivnorant

Created by: MithrilShadow

Pronunciation: Shiv-noor-ant

Sentence: Mike's chivnorant attempt to hold the door open for his girl friend ended up with him pinned under the waiter cart, that came through the door right at that moment.

Etymology: from: Chivalry: gallant or distinguished gentlemen. And Ignorant: resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence

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Backsquire

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: BAK-skwyre

Sentence: Alex, ever the backsquire, spread out his coat for his date to cross a puddle, only to put her in the way of the spray of a speeding car.

Etymology: backfire + squire (a gentleman)

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Genteelgaffe

Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation:

Sentence: If it wasn't for his genteelgaffe, she might have spoken to him.

Etymology:

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Urbean

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ur/bean

Sentence: John's attempt to be urbane, chivalrous, courteous, polite and just plain well-mannered became urbean when his head got jammed in the doorway helping a damsel in distress.

Etymology: URBEAN - noun - from URBANE (polite, refined and often elegant in manner) + MR. BEAN

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COMMENTS:

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:22:00

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Assistocramp

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation:

Sentence: That girl was so hot that I had an assistocramp and shut her purse in the car door.

Etymology: assistance + cramp

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Majestiklutz

Created by: dredryder

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "It is a wonder he has any face left; he is so prone to majestiklution!"

Etymology: too obvious - "majestic" and "klutch" (a "klutz" who panics in a pinch)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James