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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Kindmiss

Created by: tumblebehr

Pronunciation: kind miss

Sentence: His kindmiss tends to dis attract women.

Etymology:

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Urbean

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ur/bean

Sentence: John's attempt to be urbane, chivalrous, courteous, polite and just plain well-mannered became urbean when his head got jammed in the doorway helping a damsel in distress.

Etymology: URBEAN - noun - from URBANE (polite, refined and often elegant in manner) + MR. BEAN

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Adversassisty

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ad/vurs/assist/ee

Sentence: My well meaning offer of assistance quickly turned into an adversassisty as I slipped on the ice trying to help an elderly lady across the street. She fractured her hip and I bruised my ego.

Etymology: assist + Adverse (harmful, injurious) + adversity (mishap, misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

zxvasdf Ha Ha! I'd bruise my ego and shatter my own hip as well. - zxvasdf, 2008-09-24: 19:25:00

I like it:flows nicely. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:19:00

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Etitwit

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: ed/i/twit

Sentence: Poor Eugene was always trying to gain points with the ladies. Unfortunately his attempts at opening doors, putting down his coat over puddles and the like, would always backfire. Instead of being known as the "knight in shining armor" of the apartment building, he was known as etitwit of the lobby.

Etymology: Etiquite: Rules of behavior, propriety, decorum, manners. Twit: A foolish or annoying person.

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Assistocramp

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation:

Sentence: That girl was so hot that I had an assistocramp and shut her purse in the car door.

Etymology: assistance + cramp

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Harmoanious

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: harm/o/nee/us

Sentence:

Etymology: harmonious + harm + maon

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Chivalshamble

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: SHIV-uhl-SHAM-buhl

Sentence: Although Bob's intentions were pure and noble, his decision making processes never achieved the right balance between good-deeding and gormlesting. With his benefracture legendary, he was a sort of goldibollocks: beneflummoxy at best; altroublistic ad naseum, and a bothersome boo-boo-gooder chivalshambling through life.

Etymology: Blend of CHIVAL: courtesy and good deed towards others, esp women & SHAMBLE: A scene or state of much disorder or ruin.

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COMMENTS:

another great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:17:00

A veritable Bobblehead. Excellent word, great sentence. - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:00:00

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Goofinice

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Goof-E-nice

Sentence: He was going to put his coat over the puddle when he goofiniced and stepped on his shoelace and landed in the puddle instead.

Etymology: Goof - to make a mistake, + nice - to be kind to another person.

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Oopdonk

Created by: wordslikevenom

Pronunciation: Oup-don-k

Sentence: In the parallel universe, Sir Walter wasn't so lucky. Having laid his cloak over a puddle for the Queen to step onto so that she wouldn't muddy her feet, little did he realise it was well over 3 metres deep ..."Oopdonk!" went the crowd.

Etymology: Oops - an expression of surprise or feeling sorry about a mistake or slight accident. Donk (onomatopoeia) - Comedic knocking noise.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James