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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Misstention

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: miss ten shun

Sentence: Leonard always meant well, but in his hurry to impress the fairer sex, his good deeds turned into the misstention kind. His awkward attempts at basic gallantry often came back to bite him. For instance, he tried to impress Mary Jane, the cute new receptionist by holding the revolving door open, only to get his head caught in it. Then when they got up to the office, he leaned on the wall to talk to her and set off the fire alarm. The final misstention was when he bought her a nice hot latte and accidently spilled it all over her new dress, computer keyboard and important report the boss was waiting on. Yes, sometimes the road to Hell is indeed paved with misstentions...

Etymology: Miss (fail to perceive or to catch with the senses or the mind;fail to reach or get to) & Intention (an act of intending; a volition that you intend to carry out;an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions)

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Adversassisty

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ad/vurs/assist/ee

Sentence: My well meaning offer of assistance quickly turned into an adversassisty as I slipped on the ice trying to help an elderly lady across the street. She fractured her hip and I bruised my ego.

Etymology: assist + Adverse (harmful, injurious) + adversity (mishap, misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

zxvasdf Ha Ha! I'd bruise my ego and shatter my own hip as well. - zxvasdf, 2008-09-24: 19:25:00

I like it:flows nicely. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:19:00

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Banevolence

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: bain-ehv-oh-lence

Sentence: Thomas' banevolence was beginning to cost him. The proliferation of cuts, bruises and trips to the chiropractor was making him think that chivalry was going to get him dead.

Etymology: bane + (ben)evolence

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle Terrific word! - libertybelle, 2007-10-26: 11:10:00

good word MrDave - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-26: 12:19:00

Good word and antonym of benevolence! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:25:00

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Stumbility

Created by: brimuth

Pronunciation: st-uhm-bil-itee

Sentence: The curse of stumbility struck again as Matt's efforts to be a gentleman failed miserably.

Etymology: The ability to stumble over the simplest gesture of chivalry.

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Benefracture

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ben-uh-FRAK-cher

Sentence: Roxie was a tender-hearted tryplease, who sincerely shambled her way through life. And though her intentions remained pure and noble, her saintretemps and benefractures were often plain scary. In the end, to kin and kith alike, she became a must-to-avoid.

Etymology: Benefracture: blend of benefactor & fracture - " when good intentions comes apart or unstuck." Saintretemps: blend of saint & contretemps-"hitch"

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COMMENTS:

Sweet word OZZIEBOB! You long time-verbotomists are really creative with your words. For me, its hard to stay away from the thesaurus! - Kevcom, 2007-10-28: 00:23:00

I did this one time -- A female coworker dropped a paper by the printer and, trying to be gentlemanly, I quickly bent down to grab it (as she was also) and 'benefractured' her glasses. :/ - Tigger, 2007-11-06: 17:41:00

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Goofinice

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Goof-E-nice

Sentence: He was going to put his coat over the puddle when he goofiniced and stepped on his shoelace and landed in the puddle instead.

Etymology: Goof - to make a mistake, + nice - to be kind to another person.

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Jestugh

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jess-t-ure

Sentence: Harry had fancied Suzie for ages, so when he saw that she was having troube starting her car he swiftly offered to help. He began push the car and soon got it going , unfortunately he pushed so hard that he fell over and landed headfirst in a muddy puddle. As he stood up all he could here was Suzie's hysterical laughter, it was a good thing that his face was covered in mud so that she could not see his embarrassment.

Etymology: Jest(Joke)+ Ugh(an exclamation of horror) = Jestugh (play on gesture)

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Harmoanious

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: harm/o/nee/us

Sentence:

Etymology: harmonious + harm + maon

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Assuccour

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: assuc cour

Sentence: Fred saw his crush and in his dash to be chivalrous he committed a dastardly assuccour. Fred finds himself in the middle of an assuccouring just about everyday; an assuccouring Fred is in his element. Fred doesn't feel right about his day if he hasn't had assuccoured at least once. Assuccourism is sweeping the country as closet geeks finally venture from monitor light to seek adventure and love.

Etymology: Ass (a fool) & succour (to assist)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James