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'Computer programmers do not make mistakes.'

DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.

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Verboticisms

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Progcastigator

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor

Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.

Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator

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Notit

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nätit

Sentence: Whenever a computer problem is exposed Wendel sings out "Notit" much like a kid at the start of a game of tag. Of course when he said "it", he meant IT. Though he has never actually created a single usable document, spreadsheet or database, he just knows that any problem that pops up is the fault of the peons that work for his company. If only he could keep these knuckleheads from monkeying with his network... He would express his disdain in an e-mail if he could spell it.

Etymology: not (used with an auxiliary verb or “be” to form the negative) + it (pronoun [third person singular]) IT (Information Technology)

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Displaim

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: dĭ-splām'

Sentence: "Clearly user error." Gaylord concluded. "You simply can't correctly interface with the connection-oriented data access arrangement..." "Don't displaim me," Marta interrupted, "I only hit 'start' and the thing locked up."

Etymology: displacement, psychological defense mechanism that transfers affect or reaction from the original object to some more acceptable one; display, to output (data) on a CRT or other screen, or, in non-computer usage, to reveal or betray; aim, to intend or direct for a particular effect or purpose.

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Userabuser

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: use/er/a/buse/er

Sentence: Our IT department specializes in the userabuser technique to solve most computer problems. It's the "It's got to be you' approach.

Etymology: user + abuse

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COMMENTS:

Must be included in their tech training classes... - Nosila, 2009-06-26: 12:37:00

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Gargygoo

Created by: Robertache

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Dissinformation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən

Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.

Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)

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Custoculpate

Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: CUSTOmer+CULPable+ATE

Sentence: His first reaction to any reported application problem is to custoculpate, not wanting to think the code could be incorrect, even when that has proven to be the case over and over.

Etymology: CUSTOmer+CULPable+ATE

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Theebugger

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dee buh gur

Sentence: Verily I say unto thee, if yon bugger of a theebugger shouldst approach thee, flee with the greatest urgency, lest he bug thee further.

Etymology: debug, bugger, thee

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COMMENTS:

your sentences always make me laugh - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 14:07:00

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Softwarrior

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /sawft-WOR-ee-er/

Sentence: Bert, the department's IT Specialist, was a fanatical softwarrior, who would attack any of the mere users who dared to question the quality of their software. He fancied himself a sort of cyber-paladin, defender of the virtuous programmers who constructed such intricate code. Of course, Bert was sure that he could have joined their ranks, and that the brotherhood of programmers would welcome him with open arms, but he believed that his calling was here, at the front lines, keeping the unappreciative and discontented mobs of peasants... er, users, at bay.

Etymology: Software - the programs used to direct the operation of a computer (back-formation from the word 'hardware' as applied to computer equipment) + Warrior - one who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict (from Old North French, werreieur "one who wages war")

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Pogrommer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: poe grom mer

Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.

Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-05-14: 00:03:02
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-06-26: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

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