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Verboticisms

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Cusdumber

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kuhs-duh-mer

Sentence: If there is anything that a store clerk hates, it has to be the cusdumber who can't seem to do anything without asking a stupid question or making an ignorant statement. "Do you work here?" "This item is scratched (they just scratched it). Can I get a discount?" The only hope is if they get just a little dumber, they might forget to breath or how to get to to the store.

Etymology: customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another) + dumb (lacking intelligence or good judgment; stupid; dull-witted)

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Retaildundunce

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kluhtz tom errrrrr

Sentence: If another klutztomer asked him if he was the manager despite his large laminated photo I.D, has $500 dollar suit, his genuine crocodile shoes and his hide briefcase, he would cut out their liver and bring it home to mother for dinner.

Etymology: customer, klutz

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COMMENTS:

LOL Mine is a MORON and yours is a KLUTZ! Everybody is being hilarious on this word :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:17:00

muchly enjoyed the humor in your sentence and your word - funtastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:35:00

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Parleyfool

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: parh-lee-foolh

Sentence: This is a true story. It must be documented! During the 70s, while a hippie, wandering around Quebec, nervous about having to speak what little French I had absorbed in high school, I stuck my head into the door of a pub somewhere near Sherbrooke and spoke to a row of men sitting in semi-darkness at the bar, "Parlez-vous Francais?" They turned in unison, like a row of cows, and mooed, "Ooouui." Needless to say, I let the door slam shut and was too mortified to correct myself. What a parleyfool I was...

Etymology: Combining PARLEY, a discussion (from Fr. parler, to speak) + FOOL. Could be spelled ParlerFou!

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COMMENTS:

Cute story. :) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 23:55:00

Enjoyed your sentence. Your create is a great blending plus a great fun pun on parle vous, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:41:00

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Moronicretailist

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: more-ron-ik-re-tail-ist

Sentence: Teddy was in the video store perusing through the latest video games when he saw a lady in a red and white uniform with a name tag of Pamela. Teddy asks,"hey do you work here Pamela?" Pamela stared hard at the man and under her breath she called him a "moronicretailist" and points to her Action Video name tag and says,"Well let me see...I'm in Action Video in this ridiculous red and white uniform talking to cutomers and you see my name tag clearly showing I work here and you called me Pamela! "So sir, what can I help you with? "Teddy asks Pamela,"are these the latest video game releases?" Pamela just points to the big red sign right in front of the kiosk where Teddy was already looking...that clearly spells out "latest video games." She shakes her head and walks off mumbling..."that "moronicretailist" must never get out of the house!"

Etymology: Moron;disused term for a person with a mental age between 8 and 12, slang for a stupid person. Retail; Retail comes from the French word retaillier which refers to "cutting off, clip and divide" in terms of tailoring (1365). It first was recorded as a noun with the meaning of a "sale in small quantities" in 1433 (French). Its literal meaning for retail was to "cut off, shred, paring".[2] Like the French, the word retail in both Dutch and German (detailhandel and Einzelhandel respectively) also refer to sale of small quantities of items. Ist; added to retail to show one who buys retail merchandise.

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COMMENTS:

good one - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:23:00

Thank you very much Jabberwocky :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:43:00

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Excusemebutt

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: ex-kuse-mee-but

Sentence: Karla was still stinging about losing her job at the securities firm when she started her shift at the discount store. Not only did she have to give up her salary and benefits, but instead of having a latte with the girls in mailing she was stuck with spending her days trying to communicate with the idiot teenagers who worked there. On top of everything else she was ready to take a swing at the next excusemebutt that came up to her to see if she was an employee when she was obviously wearing a disgusting brown shirt with a moronic pink and orange logo on it. They would look directly at her name tag and say, "Excuse me, but, do you work here?" She wanted to scream,"Do you really think someone would intentionally go out of the house in this shirt?"

Etymology: Excuse: pardon, forgive; Butt: (slang) buttocks

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:12:00

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Customyeranidiot

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Duhblivious

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-BLIV-yuss

Sentence: Vernon was so bad about overlooking the obvious and asking lame questions his friends had labeled his lame practice as duhblivious and even that was something that got by him.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used to express annoyance at banality, obviousness, or stupidity) and 'oblivious' (unmindful; unconscious; unaware)

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Boutiquery

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: bow-teek-qwery

Sentence: His boutiquery was likely a sad excuse for a pick-up line but she didn't mind - she liked his slacks.

Etymology: boutique + query

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Staffinvection

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: staff in vek shun

Sentence: When George the patient asked the man in the hospital with the white scrubs; the stethoscope, mask and chart whether he worked there as he took George's vitals, he got himself a case of staffinvection.

Etymology: Staff (employee) & Invection (. An expression which inveighs or rails against a person) & Wordplay on Staph Infection (A spherical gram-positive parasitic bacterium of the genus Staphylococcus, usually occurring in grapelike clusters and causing boils, septicemia, and other infections).

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-27: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

ladyiggy - 2009-03-27: 09:46:00
You are very welcomed. Great words. It's hard to pick.

kateinkorea - 2009-03-28: 10:16:00
Good word!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-29: 15:46:00
Thank you! And really, it is hard to be polite to retail staffers without being stupid. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-10-11: 00:12:00
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

'Hey, do you work here?'

DEFINITION: v. To ask someone who is clearly in a store uniform, perhaps on a ladder creating a display or running a cash register "Do you work here?" n. A person who doesn't know how to ask for assistance in a retail store without asking a stupid question.

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