Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rezəmēnēəl

Sentence: John had always been fascinated by those guys on the street corner flipping and spinning signs announcing the latest going-out-of-business sale. When his company announced bankruptcy he jumped at the chance to try out for such a job. To do so he had to have his secretary create a resumenial for him, leaving out such details as his MBA and doctorate in finance as well as his years as CEO. The only job experience he listed was part-time dance instructor, a job that helped him get through college some 30 years prior. Unfortunately he was beat out for the job by a former member of The Village People who had a few dance moves of his own.

Etymology: resume (a brief account of a person’s education, qualifications, and previous experience, typically sent with a job application) + menial (work) not requiring much skill and lacking prestige)

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: back round heck

Sentence: When the supervisor eventually got around to verifying Sato’s resume denials, she’d probably cast it aside, giving him backgroundheck. How could a software specialist ever last fslipping burgers?

Etymology: From backgroundcheck (to verify references and qualifications) and "heck", a scold/verbal punishment.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dum ma ree

Sentence: Jim's resume for the fast fry cook's position was actually a dummary of his career's achievements. After cooking the books at the bank for 30 years, he felt he could cook anything this place served.

Etymology: Dumb (not so smart) & Summary (a resume, brief job/education history;

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Created by: matte76

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.

Etymology:

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Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: ə-kŏm'plĭsh'mĭn

Sentence: She knew they would take one look at her resume and be worried about the safety of their own jobs. What she needed was an accomplishmin, minimizing her extensive over qualifications, just so should could get in the door.

Etymology: accomplishment - a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice, min - short for minimize, to reduce

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: rez you mey noht

Sentence: her resumaynot neglected to mention any of her achievements since high school apart from the mose killing stuff

Etymology: resume may not

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ap-li-truhng-key-shuhn

Sentence: After years of foreclosing loans on his neighbors Jim was reticent to mention his previous experience at job interviews. The needed paperwork often involves a fair amount of applitruncation.

Etymology: application (a written or spoken request or appeal for employment) + truncation (to cut short)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: brev + som + ay

Sentence: Joyce had two versions of her resume ready so that she could qualify for both entry level and professional job openings. Her resume contained years of achievements, awards and education. Her brevsume was much shorter. It began with her illustrious career as a papergirl, progressed to bagging groceries and ended with her stint as a parking lot attendant...

Etymology: Brevity and Resume >> Brevity (The quality of being brief in duration; Succinctness; conciseness) Resume (summary of educational and employment experience)

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COMMENTS:

wonderful verbotomy - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:36:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 21:18:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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