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'Didn't you used to be my Bank Manager?'

DEFINITION: v. To deny one's accomplishments, or minimize one's abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.

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Comission

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: com-ISH-un

Sentence: After years of high-powered corporate derringdo Arthur decimated his CV to get a job with no overtime and no stress. It was a sin of comission.

Etymology: commission (employment) + omission (act of leaving something out)

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Backgroundheck

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: back round heck

Sentence: When the supervisor eventually got around to verifying Sato’s resume denials, she’d probably cast it aside, giving him backgroundheck. How could a software specialist ever last fslipping burgers?

Etymology: From backgroundcheck (to verify references and qualifications) and "heck", a scold/verbal punishment.

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Caredaction

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun

Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.

Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)

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Accomplishmin

Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: ə-kŏm'plĭsh'mĭn

Sentence: She knew they would take one look at her resume and be worried about the safety of their own jobs. What she needed was an accomplishmin, minimizing her extensive over qualifications, just so should could get in the door.

Etymology: accomplishment - a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice, min - short for minimize, to reduce

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Selfeffacting

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting

Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.

Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00

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Splinterviewing

Created by: matte76

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.

Etymology:

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Warewithdrawal

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: WARE with DRAW eul

Sentence: After Bob was laid off from his job and he didn’t have the wherewithal to pay his bills, he decided he was too young to retire and needed to get a job. A long time salesman and way overqualified, he found that the wares he had to sell at this point in his life were his lack of credentials rather than his credentials. It became evident that if he worked at it he had the warewithdrawal he needed to undersell his abilities.

Etymology: WARE: an asset or product to sell WHEREWITHAL: means to make something happen NONE: WITHDRAWAL:

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:42:00

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Mcjobimize

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Mc/Job/i/mize

Sentence: To be even considered for the position at Dollarama, Joe had to McJobimize his resume leaving everything out that he did since high school.

Etymology: McJobimize - verb - from McJob (a none descript low paying job such as a burger server, or store greeter) + minimize (to represent at the lowest possible amount)

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Noncomplishments

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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Dummary

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dum ma ree

Sentence: Jim's resume for the fast fry cook's position was actually a dummary of his career's achievements. After cooking the books at the bank for 30 years, he felt he could cook anything this place served.

Etymology: Dumb (not so smart) & Summary (a resume, brief job/education history;

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-25: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-08: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James