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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Screwictim

Created by: Osmosis

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After the Wishbone salad dressing exploding on her, Mary became enraged at being the latest screwictim of her husband's pranks.

Etymology: Screw + victim

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COMMENTS:

Typo: should be "exploded" instead of "exploding" - Osmosis, 2007-10-23: 22:06:00

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Maisnonaaaaghs

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: may-non-aaaaaz

Sentence: I have some vinregrets, but listening out for the maisnonaaaaghs always cracks me up, when I've carefully sabotaged the condiments.

Etymology: mayonnaise + mais non (fr. but no, exclaimed loudly, followed by) aaaaaghs

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COMMENTS:

aaaaghs - good word petaj - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-23: 12:27:00

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Seasonfling

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: see/zon/fling

Sentence: "Would you care for a little seasonfling on your salad?" asked the perfect hostess as she accidentally spewed the entire bottle of salad dressing all over her guests.

Etymology: seasoning + fling

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COMMENTS:

Great! - TJayzz, 2008-09-19: 09:57:00

zxvasdf Sounds like a salad tossin' spring break - zxvasdf, 2008-09-21: 21:22:00

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Creamyitalianbush

Created by: crmow

Pronunciation: kree-me-it-al-yun-bush

Sentence: George creamyitalianbushed Julie, so she had to send her blouse to the drycleaners.

Etymology: Creamy Italian + ambush

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Shookenfreude

Created by: pungineer

Pronunciation: Shoe/ken/froy/duh

Sentence: Part of the Nazis' dastardly masterplan to conquer America during WW2 was to spread confusion and terror across the land by recruiting waitresses to act as Shookenfreuders

Etymology: Shook (as in all shook up) + Schadenfreude (to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others mwah ha ha ha etc)

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle now that's clever!! - libertybelle, 2007-10-23: 09:14:00

Thanks, i'm liking yours too, sounds more exciting than a caesar salad somehow.. - pungineer, 2007-10-23: 09:19:00

Thanks, i'm liking yours too, sounds more exciting than a caesar salad somehow.. - pungineer, 2007-10-23: 09:26:00

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Saladregressing

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: SAL-luhd-ree-grehs-sihng

Sentence: Neither Alex's date nor her white dress appreciated his foolish act of saladregressing.

Etymology: salad dressing + regressing to the level of 12-year-olds

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Kapsplatter

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Shimmysaucivate

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: shim-ee-saws-eh-vayte

Sentence: Her hair stylist couldn't remove the orange-red stain from her hair which was due to the Russian salad dressing she had shimmysaucivated all over her hair the day before.

Etymology: shimmy + sauce

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COMMENTS:

saucivate sounds great on its own but the sauce gives it a bit more pizzaz - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-23: 16:10:00

thanks, I had considered switching it around to saucyshimmivate but it sounded like some sort of dance move from the 1950's... - remistram, 2007-10-24: 09:43:00

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Stainerism

Created by: svnfsvn

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: stain +terrorism

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James