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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Paratorque

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) pěr'-rə-tôrk (n.) pěr'-rə-tôrk'-ər

Sentence: "Don't paratorque the ketchup before you put it in the fridge," shouted Mom. "Next time you do it you'll have to clean the entire kitchen!"

Etymology: Para- (false) + torque (to twist)

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Whoopibottle

Created by: Koekbroer

Pronunciation: woo-pee-bot-tel

Sentence: "Haha! Doug punked Rachel with a whoopibottle. She spilled salad dressing all over the table."

Etymology: whoopi cushion + bottle

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Fauxclosure

phild3791

Created by: phild3791

Pronunciation: \ˈfō\ˈklō-zhər\

Sentence: Phil hadn’t realized he was a victim of Fauxclosure until it was too late and his shirt was ruined.

Etymology: Faux: French, false. Closure : an act of closing : the condition of being closed

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COMMENTS:

BWAHAHAHA! I Love this! - Lolagrrl, 2007-10-23: 10:11:00

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Kapsplatter

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Revinaigrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re vin ay gret

Sentence: Lettuce examine the facts. After George's cruel trick on Helen, he was filled with revinaigrette, cos he loosened the lid on the salad dressing. Not only that, he failed to romaine at the scene of the grime. She vowed that he would never get to see her dressing again unless he bought her a one carrot diamond ring (which would cost him his celery)...or else he'd end up in the Mayo clinic. Endive story.

Etymology: Regret (feel remorse for; feel sorry for; be contrite about) & Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic;salad dressing)

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Kiiriskits

Created by: damaribj

Pronunciation: fruity and smeell like booty

Sentence: me and cusins made it up in a club we made and we in a tree and called peple kiiriskits and kiiriskits means your fruity and smeell like booty

Etymology: fruity and smeell like booty

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Stainerism

Created by: svnfsvn

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: stain +terrorism

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Capunked

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ka/puhngk/d

Sentence: Jeremy capunked three different people at dinner last night leaving ketchup, mustard and oil and vinegar on the walls, ceiling and floors, not to mention his victims.

Etymology: CAPUNKED - verb - from CAP (a close-fitting covering for a bottle, or jar) + PUNKED (to "get" someone in a practical joke; someone caught unaware in a practical joke)

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Sausprize

Created by: tdhall56

Pronunciation: saw sprize

Sentence: She got a sausprize when she tried to put ketchup on her fries.

Etymology: sauce surprise or prize (something extra)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James