Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: de-CAP-lid-aytd

Sentence: When the lid flew off the salad dressing bottle when she shook it, Audrey realized with great chagrin that once again, her husband, Elrod, had played his lame decaplidated trick on her again.

Etymology: Blend of 'decapitated' and 'lid'

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COMMENTS:

Off with his head! - Nosila, 2008-09-19: 20:06:00

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Created by: jhill1229

Pronunciation: haf lip

Sentence: It drives me crazy when my son halflips the milk container.

Etymology:

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Created by: bzav1

Pronunciation: vin - regret

Sentence: The manager was of the opinion that because the vinregrette was unintentional, the restaurant was not responsible for the dry cleaning of Debbie's blouse.

Etymology: vinaigrette + regret

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: see-sar-prize

Sentence: Looking at the thousand island covered walls, Dean knew that Marie had left him a Caesarprise with his salad for lunch today.

Etymology: Caesar + surprise

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Created by: Durotriges

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: crmow

Pronunciation: kree-me-it-al-yun-bush

Sentence: George creamyitalianbushed Julie, so she had to send her blouse to the drycleaners.

Etymology: Creamy Italian + ambush

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Created by: sallybeth

Pronunciation: saw-ser-pie-se

Sentence: Damn! He saucerpised me again

Etymology: sauce + surprise

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bloōsnēz

Sentence: Bill thought he’d play his famous bleusneeze prank on his new girlfriend, leaving the cap loosened on the bottle of salad dressing so that she would spray it all over herself when she shook it. The joke was just as funny (or funnier) when she reached for the bottle, tipped it over and spilled the contents in Bill’s lap. Unsure if she did it on purpose or not, he quietly screwed the lids back on the salt and pepper shakers.

Etymology: bleu cheese (cheese containing veins of blue mold, such as Gorgonzola and Danish Blue) + sneeze (make a sudden involuntary expulsion of air from the nose and mouth due to irritation of one’s nostrils)

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Top-her-splat

Sentence: Paulie Prankster always set his wife up with a tophersplat every time she used Verbotomy Salad Dressing.

Etymology: Top- a lid of a container. Her- Female. Splat- a wet slapping sound.

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