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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Condement

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: kän-dɪ-mənt

Sentence: Even the word condement felt slippery in her brain as she fell victim to the unyielding ketchup.

Etymology: condiment (topping or dressing) + dement (to make insane)

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COMMENTS:

artr Not to mention "con", as in to fool someone. - artr, 2013-01-08: 07:16:00

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Vinaigress

Created by: CDH167

Pronunciation: vinn-uh-gress

Sentence: "My roommate short-sheeted my bed and set my alarm clock two hours early, so I'll get back by vinaigressing her new bottle of Catalina."

Etymology: Portmanteau from 'vinaigrette' and 'aggressive'.

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Capfool

Created by: maggiejohnle

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "I left you a capfool in the fridge, ha ha"

Etymology:

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Fauxclosure

phild3791

Created by: phild3791

Pronunciation: \ˈfō\ˈklō-zhər\

Sentence: Phil hadn’t realized he was a victim of Fauxclosure until it was too late and his shirt was ruined.

Etymology: Faux: French, false. Closure : an act of closing : the condition of being closed

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COMMENTS:

BWAHAHAHA! I Love this! - Lolagrrl, 2007-10-23: 10:11:00

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Gullicap

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: gul-li-cap

Sentence: Susan's husband pulled a gullicap; he loved to dress her at the most surprising moments. Susan was gullicapped by her husband, at the amusement of her children. Gullicapping is an art form practiced by professional pranksters around the world. Gullicapturing denotes a prankster's success.

Etymology: Gullible (easily deceived or cheated) & Cap (covering)

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Faketite

Created by: KenM2

Pronunciation:

Sentence: He carefully performed faketite on the bottle, then hid in the back to watch the victim.

Etymology: Fake+Tight

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Stainerism

Created by: svnfsvn

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: stain +terrorism

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Flumbuscade

Created by: Durotriges

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Decaplidated

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: de-CAP-lid-aytd

Sentence: When the lid flew off the salad dressing bottle when she shook it, Audrey realized with great chagrin that once again, her husband, Elrod, had played his lame decaplidated trick on her again.

Etymology: Blend of 'decapitated' and 'lid'

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COMMENTS:

Off with his head! - Nosila, 2008-09-19: 20:06:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James