Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ee tern al dar nay shun

Sentence: Turns out old Father McGregor had been right all along. He had been preaching to the sock kids from the time they were little booties until they made it to the support hose years. "Toe the Line", "Mend Your Ways" and "Don't be Heels" or "You'll face Eternaldarnation" were the lessons he tried to instill on the close-knit community. "Save Your Soles" and "Don't be guilty of Stocking", "You garter heed yarn words of wisdom", "Stay together, but don't give each other any Static or you'll be going to Heel in a handbasket" and "You'll end up in Purlgatory for your Sins" were other parts of his Knitany. Each laundry day, he would lead his little flock in prayer, "Argyll Father, who art in Hosiery Heaven, deliver us from weevils and lead us not into separation. Thy wool be done. Amen" Those who suspendered their beliefs were seldom reunited on the other side. They became the Lost Soles.

Etymology: Eternal ( continuing forever or indefinitely) & Darn (to mend, especially socks, by sewing closed holes) & Damnation (the state of being condemned to eternal punishment in Hell) & play on Eternal Damnation (what good Christians fear is their punishment for sins committed, refusal into Heaven)

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COMMENTS:

This is hysterical!! I like it. - mweinmann, 2008-11-06: 11:19:00

Wowie Zowie! You leave me FLABBERGASTED every time! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 11:52:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: parədīs

Sentence: Socks lead a rough life, forced to live much of their lives in dark smelly caves called shoes, being walked on constantly and generally not appreciated. Even their mending is a mild curse. (Darn!) Because of this Marney isn*t too concerned when one escapes to pairadise. She is convinced that the swirling of the dryer creates a tiny black hole at the center of the drum. It is so tiny that only one sock can squeeze through at a time thus leaving its mate behind. Marley has a ritual where she takes the widowed hose and places it in the dryer. She sets it to fluff and an unlimited time setting. Though she might need to dump the lint trap several times, the mismatched footwear eventually makes it across time/space barrier to rejoin its mate. Strangely enough, once she has reunited the couple, the first-departed may return for a visit via the black hole that resides under her bed.

Etymology: pair (a set of two things used together or regarded as a unit) + paradise (heaven as the ultimate abode of the just)

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Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: Lint-verse

Sentence: My socks disappeared into the lintverse, and my boyfriend thought he found a way to get them back. I haven't seen him since.

Etymology: Lint: That stuff that always appears where your socks should be. Kind of a weird space time continuum thing. Verse: Universe

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sok-yoom

Sentence: Every time Jill does laundry at least one sock is mysteriously absorbed into the socuum behind the dryer.

Etymology: sock(a short stocking usually reaching to the calf or just above the ankle)+ vacuum (a space entirely devoid of matter)

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: sok/oh/pathy

Sentence: The sockchopathy of lost socks has long been debated but remains a sockratic mystery.

Etymology: psychopathy + sock + path

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Created by: treehous

Pronunciation: \ˈlȯn-dər-ˈlim-(ˌ)bō\ (lawn-der-lim-bo)

Sentence: None of my socks match anymore, they keep vanishing into launderlimbo

Etymology: launder- from Latin lavendaria, pl. of lavandarium "things to be washed" limbo- from Latin (in) limbo "(on) the edge," abl. of limbus "edge, border"

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: hose/taj

Sentence: We have reports of several hosetage situations taking place in a new subdivision where LG washers have been installed. We now believe LG stands for last gasp and several socks have lost their mates to the dreaded spin cycle gang.

Etymology: hose + hostage

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COMMENTS:

Did the Bader-Meinhoff gang use dryers for their balaclavas, of just hang 'em on the line? - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 12:11:00

It's time to round them up and wring the truth out of them...it will all come out in the wash! - Nosila, 2008-11-06: 21:56:00

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Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: black-holz

Sentence: Marnie knew if she could just find the secret portal into the blackholse, she would wander into a sock-filled utopia where errant socks and other miscellaneous garments were lined up in an orderly fashion just waiting to be reunited with their mates or owners. So obsessed was she that her husband came home to find the washer and dryer disassembled and the beginnings of a hole dug into the laundry room floor. From that moment on, Marnie and her husband never spoke of the blackholse again, and Marnie started wearing those little disposable foot covers they have in shoe stores for trying on shoes without socks.

Etymology: Mash-up of black hole and hose

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COMMENTS:

Very thorough- a strong scientific foundation, with overtones of Hitchcock and Poe, yet with a happy ending. Remarkable. - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 12:00:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: darn blak hole

Sentence: "Why oh why", cried Sylvia,"does that darnblackhole in the dryer only take the sock that you didn't put your big toenail through"?

Etymology: darn (mend socks) & Black Hole (cosmos)

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: lawn-dra-sun-der

Sentence: He was her perfect match, her solemate; but the pair became laundrasunder by forces beyond their control. Although she tried desperately to keep their union from fraying it was obvious that their happiness was wearing thin. She tried to put a good spin cycle on it; however, one day the whole thing went down the drain and he disappeared with a cheap pair of nylons. "Darn it"! she cried, "I guess it all comes out in the wash."

Etymology: laundry: place to wash clothes + asunder: part with; separate in time or space

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