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'There's no way a guy with a mono-brow is marrying my daughter!'

DEFINITION: n. A chosen mating partner who is not well-accepted by one's parents. v. To fight with one's parents over the selection of a suitable mate.

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Verboticisms

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Woowho

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: woōhoō

Sentence: When Richard met his daughter*s new suitor, all he could say was **woowho?** For the rest of the day he could be heard muttering **over my dead body**.

Etymology: woo (try to gain the love of someone) + who (what or which person or people) play off of woohoo, an expression of excitement

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Progenitorturer

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: proh-jen-i-TAWR-cher-uhr

Sentence: Kate brought the progenitorturer home again for Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that he managed to convince Grandma to give him a lap dance during grace. And that wouldn't have been so terrible, were it not for the cranberry sauce he'd smeared on his stomach. And that wouldn't have been so horrible, aside from the fact that...

Etymology: progenitor + torturer

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COMMENTS:

he gargled with the wine and snorted the salt. He also... - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 10:32:00

blew his nose on the host's napkin... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 10:46:00

and then he quoted the French Guard from The holy Grail and said 'I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!' At that outburst.... - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 13:11:00

Kate realized she had to do something quick to stop his further indescretions. She abruptly rose from the table, scurried over to the progenitorturer, and stuffed the snotty napkin in his... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 14:00:00

inverted third nipple - bubbos, 2007-06-22: 15:25:00

which caused him to scream in pain. He then took the turkey carcass and hurled it at... - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 15:45:00

Kate's grandma, who adeptly ducked the flying featherless fowl, and caused it to go careening across the room, knocking over the glass that held Grandpa's spare teeth in the process, which caused Grandpa to exclaim... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 16:50:00

"I need my Viagra!," which confused everyone, including old widow Jones, who promptly removed her inhaler from her purse and began attempting CPR on the struggling cat, who was really a secret agent working for... - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 18:36:00

CHAOS! The boyfiend jumped up and yelled "Let's wrestlemateia!", at which point ... - Stevenson0, 2007-06-22: 18:46:00

Grandpa chimed in and said, "Well, I may be an old toothless impotent bugger, but I'm game!" Grandpa sprung, as fast as a grandpa can spring, to his feet and lunged at... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 18:56:00

the mutilated turkey, which old Widow Jones was now attempting to revive with electric shocks from her taser, which she had received as a gift from... - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 19:06:00

President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 19:36:00

President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 19:49:00

President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 19:49:00

the mutilated turkey, which old Widow Jones was now attempting to revive with electric shocks from her taser, which she had received as a gift from... - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 20:04:00

James, who was trying to figure out why multiple posts happen. He was stumped. But Grampa quickly realized that it was all because... - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-22: 20:12:00

why read something once when reading it 3 times is so much better. But to get back to why Grandpa wasn't in the mood, it was because he had landed in a bowl of apple jelly and assumed it was Grandma. Now it was time for dessert and... - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 20:41:00

SUDDENLY - Garrison Sergeant Major Davis kicked in the front door and exclaimed, "What in Heaven's name have you done to my turkey?!" Apparently, there'd been so mix-up at the grocery store, when Mrs. Peterson, the local notary, had stumbled upon what she believed to be an indispensable clue as to the identity of the pharmacy technician counterspy responsible for stealing Grandpa's hormones from the bakery, but then she remembered that an elderly woman in the photo department had given her a picture of a cat with a hospital wristband engaged in some sort of illicit act with a gooseberry cobbler from the deli. A cobbler that may in fact contain Grandpa's missing pharmaceuticals, which upon its serving would... - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 21:22:00

petaj render the entire company with explosive diarrhoea and projectile vomiting. In the chaos that followed Grandpa mistook the remaining cranberry sauce for Grandma's k-why jelly due to his extreme colour blindness. He immediate scooped up a handful and ... - petaj, 2007-06-22: 22:50:00

went to work on his treatise concerning time warps, prehistoric sharks, and the double negation principle, but his plan was cut short as a dozen pineapples fell on his head, knocking him unconscious and prompting old widow Jones to turn to Garrison Sergeant Major Davis, who had begun to strangle the cat, and say: - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 23:19:00

petaj "I can smell something burning, Sar'major Davis, you really must desist from spreading your wedding tackle with coconut oil and sunbaking. You'll come to a nasty end! and it sets a worrisome example for the young uns." Just then Grandpa came to muttering about pineapples at twice the speed of light, being relatively generally unified and not supporting string theory at all. "Eureka" he announced to the assembly who were still clutching their guts and trying to avoid slipping in what they had just voided. "Kate you must not marry this progenitorturer, until he returns triumphant from a quest. He must prove himself worthy by ..." - petaj, 2007-06-23: 00:31:00

gathering together all the verbotomists in a steel lined cell and mind melding their idiosyncrasies into one superhuman nurosies.. thus - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-23: 00:47:00

we must figure how to get them altogether. One way is to have a transitive verb, intransitive verb ,proper noun, common noun, adjective and adverb contest. James! Inform them of the contest. They will come. James informed them all by e-mail on the 23rd of June 2007 and... - Stevenson0, 2007-06-23: 01:20:00

sit back and watch the fireworks. Only then shall the turkey, the cat, Kate, her progenitorturer, Grandma, Grandpa, old widow Jones, Garrison Sergeant Major Davis, Mrs. Peterson the notary, and the rest of the unnamed characters in this story, who we will assume also includes a disgruntled Ma and a dipsomaniac Pa, as well as a few aunts, uncles, and cousins, truly be free. The end. We hope. - Clayton, 2007-06-23: 02:56:00

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Spousejoust

Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: spows-jowst

Sentence: Helen carefully checked Hank's mowhawk before knocking on her parents' door. If they were going to spousejoust then she wanted her sweetheart to look his best.

Etymology: spouse + joust (a personal combat or competition)

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COMMENTS:

got my vote =-) - grasshopper, 2007-06-22: 11:26:00

Thanks grasshopper, glad you liked it! - serendipity9000, 2007-06-22: 13:21:00

Once the door opened did it turn into Stevenson0's wrestlemateia - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 16:40:00

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Ungroom

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un groom

Sentence: When Jessie defied her folks and married her caveman beau,Gronk, he became an ungroom to her father. Not only was Gronk unable to speak in big words, he unfortunately decorated the side of her father's garage with cave drawings. The new in-laws soon became outlaws to Jessie's dad.

Etymology: Un (negative;not prefix) & Groom (a man who is to be or has recently been married; care for one's external appearance)

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Antimate

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: an-tee-mayt

Sentence: Not only did Shelley's parents think Lenny was her antimate, her Dad was appauled to notice that Lenny had big wads of Shelley's hair wound around his hands and fingers. To boot, he also thought Lenny had an uncanny resemblance to his crazy uncle Ike.

Etymology: anti (not) + mate (partner)

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COMMENTS:

that was a Turner of events - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 12:00:00

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Perrant

Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: per ant

Sentence: Julius was always too perrant when he came into a new relationship. He'd argue about politics, he'd suggest that their notions of religion and morality were so askewed that species of wolves would better raise children, abhor the Home team enough to have his loathing displayed in tatoo form, and sometimes got into petty fistfights with either nurturer. They would laugh after and celebrate his candor and ferocity. Then they'd fetch beers, and he'd ask for the wrong brand; he'd be home drinking his watered down drivel while the family enjoyed a nice cool refreshing

Etymology: parent + errant (+ pair?)

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COMMENTS:

Best. Beer Commercial. Ever. Anytime I see a guy with a goatee (smuggest facial hair ever) drive his hands through his slick black hair just before punching his future mother-in-law, i want a beer. - jadenguy, 2007-06-22: 10:50:00

I think you should add rant to your etymology - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 11:58:00

heh, fair enough. - jadenguy, 2007-06-22: 15:57:00

now you're back - get in the game - go to Clayton's word - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 16:09:00

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Matusrejecticus

Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: may tus re ject icuss

Sentence: My dad performed matusrejecticus and threw my boyfriend out the door.

Etymology: mate - match reject - throw out

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Conalien

Created by: m1carren

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Her dad freaked out when he found out she was in love with a conalien.

Etymology: con: with Alien: of another

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Gallfriend

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: gawl-FREND

Sentence: Kevin's gallfriend's parents thought he was tall, dark and loathsome and called him aboyminable, but that was nothing compared to how we thought of her. We dreaded her malaproposing and becoming his offiancé.

Etymology: gall (vex or irritate) + girlfriend

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COMMENTS:

Stick him on Broadway; he could be an aboyminable showman. - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 04:41:00

Or at the moulin rouge, he could be a gaulfriend - galwaywegian, 2007-06-22: 05:08:00

Who knows? He might even play Radio City Music Gall. - Clayton, 2007-06-22: 09:59:00

maybe he's a time lord from Gallifrey - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-22: 12:11:00

petaj He's not a friend of yours is he Gallwaywegian? - petaj, 2007-06-22: 22:37:00

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Dysparamour

Created by: bwesterlind

Pronunciation: Diss-para-more

Sentence: n: Her dysparamour caused significant angst to the family. v: After they met him they had quite the dysparamour.

Etymology: Dys- Root of word meaning "Not" Paramour- Root as word meaning one who is a possible suitor.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-22: 01:42:00
Today's definition is inspired by Robert J. Sawyer's Neanderthal trilogy, Hominids, Humans and Hybrids. (We couldn't go through the whole RJS week without mentioning Neanderthals!) It's a story of two parallel worlds -- a human one and a Neanderthal one. The story pivots around the romantic tension between a female human and male Neanderthal. How about that for spicing up the gene pool? And I wonder what their parents would think? Thanks to Rob for the great story, and the inspiration. ~ James