Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ôtəmōrätik

Sentence: Andrew doesn’t just like his new car. He is crazy about it. He feelings are absolutely automorotic. He spends much of his time and most of his income on Sally, his Mustang. Last week he bought her fender skirts. He is beside himself anticipating the installation of her leather bra scheduled for this weekend.

Etymology: automobile (a road vehicle, typically with four wheels) + moron (a stupid person) + autoerotic (of or relating to sexual excitement generated by stimulating or fantasizing about one’s own body)

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: in-ANN-ah-morr-us

Sentence: The vibration of the unbalanced washer shook the ceiling pot rack, the pans on it sounding a cacophony of distant gongs. Roger sighed, and picked up the evening paper, turning on the dim orange sodium light of the old table lamp next to him. Shortly after the shaking stopped, he heard feet hit the floor. Marjorie emerged from the stairs looking flushed, carrying an empty hamper. "You know," Roger started slowly, not looking up from the paper, "we could get a new machine since that one is so far out of balance?" Her face fell. "Oh, we don't need to spend that kind of money right now. Besides, this one does a fabulous job with my delicates." She paled when she realized her innuendo, and the paper folded down to reveal a stone-faced Roger, locking her in a stare. His steeled eyes revealed his knowledge of her inanimorus affair with the Maytag 7800 front loader. The weight of 34 years of marriage dimmed the light in the already dark wood-paneled room. Scattered cords of light dodged around the edges of the curtains, revealing how dusty the room was. She tracked a small piece of lint suspended in a ray between them as it drifted on thermals and drafts, in and out of the beam of light, to avoid his gaze. Eyes refocused as Roger slowly lifted his paper back to reading level. Marjorie saw the harsh outline of his eyes soften and the glint of a tear just before they were once again replaced with headlines proclaiming the latest tournament Cinderella. She filled and put the kettle on the stove, and left the room.

Etymology: inanimate + amorous

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COMMENTS:

melancholy and moving sentence, banky. and still pretty funny. - stache, 2008-03-27: 19:11:00

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Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: burn-on

Sentence: that new shiny electrical thingy was such a burn-on, he couldn't wait to touch it... and then it hit him in his head and bit him in the ass.

Etymology:

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: mek-in-glor-eeee

Sentence: The mechanglory never faded even when John had to settle for refurbished parts for his '69 mustang. If anything, his humble spirit and refurbished offerings is carrying that torch into the future.

Etymology: mechanical + glory (Great honor, praise, or distinction accorded by common consent; renown. Something conferring honor or renown. A highly praiseworthy asset. Adoration, praise, and thanksgiving offered in worship. Majestic beauty and splendor. The splendor and bliss of heaven; perfect happiness. A height of achievement, enjoyment, or prosperity.)

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Created by: spotthecat1

Pronunciation: giz-moh-FEK-shuhn

Sentence: His wife, for the sake of the children and their marriage, tried to be understanding but at times there were arguments. Every Sunday morning he'd rush out of the house to lavish attention on her. When the water was just the right temperature he washed her gently. The special soap he bought for her foamed luxuriously and he rubbed her everywhere. He paid special attention to those hard to reach places. After the wash came the massage therapy. Hours and hours of rubbing and sweating paid off when the glow of satisfaction shined all over her. He laid back admiring her and happy over a job well done. With the sun heading towards the horizon, he cleaned up, put away the toys he had used on his lovely and closed the garage door. He headed back into the house as his wife shook her head praying that doctors would come up with a cure for his gizmoffection.

Etymology: WWII U.S. Navy/Marine slang: gizmo + (a)ffection [Middle English affeccioun, from Old French affection, from Latin affectiō]

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Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: moto-lust

Sentence: After returning from a long vacation Jack rushed to his tool shop while leaving his wife struggling with the luggage. The amount of motolust in Jack'e eyes made his wife think that if she would have seen even half of Jack's motolust during their vacation she would not be having an affair with their neighbor.

Etymology: Motor + Lust

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-27: 16:25:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: I/toy/let/tree

Sentence: Paddy had a fixation about finding the world's perfect toilet since becoming a master plumber. Once he had installed a Toto toilet he was often accused of itoiletry as he surrounded the fixture with candles and bath mats and was often found kneeling in front of it after a long night at the pub.

Etymology: idolatry + toilet

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COMMENTS:

Funny! - TJayzz, 2009-01-19: 16:12:00

Laughter loud here. And the song of your is by Willie Nelson ... "On The Commode Again!" - silveryaspen, 2009-01-19: 18:47:00

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Created by: Aardvark

Pronunciation: per SONE i fair

Sentence: Bob spent so much time in the garage his family started to wonder what he was up to. One night, when he missed his favourite dinner, Sally went out to see what he was doing. She found Bob gently polishing his boat motor, whispering to it in a way that he used do only with her. Yes, her worst fears were confirmed. Bob was definitely having a personiffair.

Etymology: Personi (from Personify - to give human qualities to objects) ffair (from affair - a secret, romantic encounter)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: spin fat u ay shun

Sentence: Carl loved his car, in fact you could say he had a bad case of spinfatuation. His favourite book and movie had been Stephen King's "Christine", so when he first took her out for a spin (or as he called it, on their first date), he named her Christine. His spinfatuation was automatic and he spent many hours learning auto repair, because he did not want all those grease monkeys down at the local garage touching her sleek chassis, never mind looking under her hood. His time alone with her in the garage soon became a fixation. His mother was worried, but found it hard to torque to him about it. She tried to steer him towards other activities (or even appliances), but he refused to shift and always yelled back at her, until she was exhausted. Her concerns were further fueled by his talk about marrying Christine. She argued that this love was not the wheel thing and their age differential was too great. His mother almost had a hemi one day, when she discovered that Carl had left a note saying that he and Christine had eloped. The next day, Carl walked home, leaking eye fluids, without the lovely Christine. His mother saw that he was ready to blow a gasket and asked him what happened. Carl broke down and said "I have made a complete axle of myself on my wedding night!" He told her that he had found out when she had made a transmission, that Christine had had some "work" done on her before they met, she was really a convertible... she used to be known as Christopher! She became the little engine that couldn't. Carl lost all his inhibitors and committed battery first and then vehicular homicide. He had come home to look for his cables...the jumpers. We knew it would all end in gears...Oh, the heart brake!

Etymology: Spin (go out for a drive) & Infatuation (an object of extravagant short-lived passion)

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: krafts/may'/knee/uh

Sentence: Jamagra adored the harvest gold toilet in her "vintage" 1970s house. Gleefully she undertook repairing the toilet's flush handle, lift chain and wax seal. Replacing the ball cock filled her heart with true craftsmania! Unfortunately (and disconcertingly) sometimes Jamagra would still walk into the bathroom unable to recall what she was supposed to be fixing that day...

Etymology: CRAFT - 1. to make by hand with great care; 2. a ship or airplane + CRAFTSMAN - 1. one skilled in a craft; 2. the brand of hand tools, power tools, lawnmowers, generators, etc. sold by Sears + MANIA - a pathological state characterized by euphoria, excessive activity and impaired judgment

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COMMENTS:

Wow, I'm impressed, great words and toilet repair! You must be a hot commode-ity. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-27: 15:58:00

Great sentence, Jamagra. I get flushed just thinking about it and I, too, do not remember why... - Nosila, 2008-03-27: 22:02:00

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