Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: muh-she-o-NAH-do

Sentence: I scarcely realized how many hours had passed. At last, as I had expected, the pre-dawn windy gusts fell to a gentle breeze. Suddenly my euphoric awakening fron the Land of Nod turned nightmarish, and I immediately hauled off the bedcoverings and raced to the bedroom window. Scarcely had I got there and looked out into the street below than I saw, to my horror, the hard rubbish pick-up truck disappearing down the street, my favorite Briggs and Stratton lawnmower slumped forlornly, amongst the other discards, on its back. My anxiety -or, may I say my panic made me feel ill; and a horror came over me that I would be unable to save him from being reduced to the size of a metal matchbox at the local recycle station. Anxiously, I ran to my car and looked ahead; but I could not tell how far the pick-up truck had travel, or even to which recycle station it was heading. My heart sank; a grotesque groaning or, at least, that's what I thought I could hear, of the junkyard's compactor starting-up it engines, seemed to be echoing all about me. But as I drove on; and the imminent loss of my beloved Briggs and Stratton became greater, a fear came over me that all my efforts to save him from metality might be in vain. Under similar circumstances, if my wife had disappeared, I should not probably have thought this way; but I was wrought and ragged, and my spirits sank to their lowest ebb. As I sat behind the wheel, speeding through tranquil streets, glittering with the rays of the early morning sun, I must have looked a picture of paranoia - but, indeed, that was the case. Every now and then I slowed down hoping to catch a glimpse of my wished-for B & S; till, at length, I caught a sight of the lofty gates of the recycling station. My spirits rose and I began to hope that should I recover "Briggsy," my troubles and anxieties would be at an end. I could not help shouting out "Briggsy! Briggsy" though I was not aware that I had done so till I heard the sound of another voice. " Settle down, sir!" he exclaimed. " Here he is. So you thought he was about to enter the great compactor in the sky - didn't you?" I tried to explain what had happened, that yesterday, after mowing, I had left my "metal soulmate," through thoughtlessness, on the nature strip; but my mind was too confused for some time for him to understand. "What! have you been up all night? You must have had some wow of a time," he said. "Let me get you some clothes and you had better lie down. You need help and plenty of rest; think of the aftermath." I saw from the way he spoke, that he was still confused; so I told him that I had already had some sleep, and that I was a machionado with a penchance for Briggs and Stratton lawnmowers. "Thank God!" He cried out. "Perhaps that is the sound of another machine, called " Black Maria." A suitable craft, hopefully, that may be able to take you and your metal mate on board. And don't worry, I am sure that it won't be too long before you and Briggsy are back on the grass again."

Etymology: Blend of machine & Afficionado

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COMMENTS:

Love the double meaning in 'wished for the B S!' My! My! How you can prose on and on! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-19: 19:05:00

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Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: burn-on

Sentence: that new shiny electrical thingy was such a burn-on, he couldn't wait to touch it... and then it hit him in his head and bit him in the ass.

Etymology:

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: kar - door - ashun

Sentence: Jesse spent every free moment in the garage tinkering with and talking to "Carissa", his '67 Plymouth Barracuda. His cardoration was causing problems in his marriage. "You love Carissa more than me" his wife would cry...."it is plain that you cardore her". Jesse decided to invite his wife to the classic car exhibit in San Antonio this year. Perhaps she would enjoy taking a trip with him while he showed Carissa off....Jesse decided to think about whether that would help their relationship or cause further problems.

Etymology: Car (a motor vehicle with four wheels; usually propelled by an internal combustion engine) + Ardor (feelings of great warmth and intensity) + Adoration (worship: a feeling of profound love and admiration)

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COMMENTS:

love/ly - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-19: 15:49:00

You could land an airplane on the rear window of a B-B-B-Barra-cooda! - metrohumanx, 2009-01-19: 15:52:00

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: THING ah ma THROB

Sentence: When you moved "Lucy" into the house I didn't complain, and when you took the door off so you could see her from the dining room while we ate, but your thingamathrob is not coming on our holiday with us. She...I mean it...is a lawnmower!

Etymology: THINGAMABOB:thing and HEART THROB: love

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COMMENTS:

nice - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-19: 15:43:00

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: in-ANN-ah-morr-us

Sentence: The vibration of the unbalanced washer shook the ceiling pot rack, the pans on it sounding a cacophony of distant gongs. Roger sighed, and picked up the evening paper, turning on the dim orange sodium light of the old table lamp next to him. Shortly after the shaking stopped, he heard feet hit the floor. Marjorie emerged from the stairs looking flushed, carrying an empty hamper. "You know," Roger started slowly, not looking up from the paper, "we could get a new machine since that one is so far out of balance?" Her face fell. "Oh, we don't need to spend that kind of money right now. Besides, this one does a fabulous job with my delicates." She paled when she realized her innuendo, and the paper folded down to reveal a stone-faced Roger, locking her in a stare. His steeled eyes revealed his knowledge of her inanimorus affair with the Maytag 7800 front loader. The weight of 34 years of marriage dimmed the light in the already dark wood-paneled room. Scattered cords of light dodged around the edges of the curtains, revealing how dusty the room was. She tracked a small piece of lint suspended in a ray between them as it drifted on thermals and drafts, in and out of the beam of light, to avoid his gaze. Eyes refocused as Roger slowly lifted his paper back to reading level. Marjorie saw the harsh outline of his eyes soften and the glint of a tear just before they were once again replaced with headlines proclaiming the latest tournament Cinderella. She filled and put the kettle on the stove, and left the room.

Etymology: inanimate + amorous

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COMMENTS:

melancholy and moving sentence, banky. and still pretty funny. - stache, 2008-03-27: 19:11:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /muh-KAN-uh-miz-um/

Sentence: 'Janice seems to really love her new food processor,' mused Charles as he left her apartment. She'd invited him over for dinner, but then she'd spent most of the evening in the kitchen with it. He was sure he'd heard Janice humming and cooing to it everytime she switched it on, and she would meticulously clean it between and after each use, admiring the sharp, shiny, new blades. As he got into his car, Charles told himself that he wasn't jealous, but this was surely a case of mechanimism, and he began to wonder about Janice's sanity. "Oh well," he thought, patting the dashboard of his Porche, "that just means more quality time for us, right Katrina?" (the car was named for her stormy personality).

Etymology: Mechanical - having to do with machinery (from Greek, mekhanikos "an engineer") + Animism - the belief in the existence of individual spirits that inhabit natural objects (from Latin, anima "life, breath, soul")

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COMMENTS:

I was going to use 'Mechanthropomorphism' but that seemed a bit too long... - Tigger, 2008-03-27: 07:29:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: inanimōshən

Sentence: Suzy is the light of Bob's life. She fills that void left by the fact that he can't have children of his own. He spends more time with her than he does with his wife. She makes him smile every time he sees her. She fills him with inanemotion. Suzy is Bob's car.

Etymology: inanimate (not alive) + emotion (any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind, such as joy, anger, love, hate, horror, etc.)

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COMMENTS:

Car-amba ! - metrohumanx, 2009-01-19: 15:53:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tran zam oh russ

Sentence: He was very transamorous. whch was probably just as well, as he resembled the back end of one of their 70's creations

Etymology: transam amorous

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COMMENTS:

nice combo - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-19: 15:47:00

Well-crafted! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-19: 18:57:00

Nice word - OZZIEBOB, 2009-01-20: 04:21:00

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Created by: Niktionary

Pronunciation: pur-sahn-i-fate

Sentence: Rick personifates his new computer: he sent out birth announcements

Etymology: personify+hallucinate

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: krafts/may'/knee/uh

Sentence: Jamagra adored the harvest gold toilet in her "vintage" 1970s house. Gleefully she undertook repairing the toilet's flush handle, lift chain and wax seal. Replacing the ball cock filled her heart with true craftsmania! Unfortunately (and disconcertingly) sometimes Jamagra would still walk into the bathroom unable to recall what she was supposed to be fixing that day...

Etymology: CRAFT - 1. to make by hand with great care; 2. a ship or airplane + CRAFTSMAN - 1. one skilled in a craft; 2. the brand of hand tools, power tools, lawnmowers, generators, etc. sold by Sears + MANIA - a pathological state characterized by euphoria, excessive activity and impaired judgment

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COMMENTS:

Wow, I'm impressed, great words and toilet repair! You must be a hot commode-ity. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-27: 15:58:00

Great sentence, Jamagra. I get flushed just thinking about it and I, too, do not remember why... - Nosila, 2008-03-27: 22:02:00

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