Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: paw lee graft

Sentence: When the family went on their long vacation, they had left their green conure, Polly, with Uncle Mikey to "birdsit". Polly had developed an good vocabulary saying things like "Hello", "I love you", "Give me a kiss" and of course, "Polly wanna cracker". After they had taken Polly home, they noticed strange words crept into his vocabulary. Phrases like "Hand over all your money", "Just co-operate and no one gets hurt" and "Curses, it's the cops" were liberally sprinkled with swear words through his everyday chats. Horrified, they confronted Uncle Mikey and he admitted that he had pollygraft Polly and had used him in some of his criminal activities. Uncle Mikey was then polygraphed himself and sentenced. These days, Mikey is the one locked up in a cage and Polly now sings "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna doi when they come for you?"

Etymology: Polly (common name for a Parrot or other talking bird) & Graft (corrupt actions of official: the use of dishonest or illegal means to gain money or property by somebody in a position of power or in elected office or money obtained corruptly: something obtained illegally by taking advantage of high position or office)...Wordplay on Polygraphed (a medical instrument that records several physiological processes simultaneously (e.g., pulse rate and blood pressure and respiration and perspiration) most commonly called a Lie Detector when used in police interrogations)

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Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /zo-o-tard/ (note: each of the “o”s is a distinct sound as in “zoology,” for example; /zu-tard/ is INcorrect)

Sentence: Q. “Can you believe it?! We left our pet beagle with my idiot brother-in-law for a mere fortnight and that zootard taught it how to leg-hump anyone who sits in my favourite recliner!” A. “What’s so strange about that? I thought all dogs leg-hump?” Q. “Male dogs do. But Betsy’s a bitch!”

Etymology: zoo – fr. Greek for “animal” -tard – a slang root derived from the word “retard”

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Mal-a-sit-ter-ism

Sentence: Despite all precautions and checking, one cannot totally avoid the possibility that a child will pick up a malasitterism from the babysitter.

Etymology: Mal- Bad / Sitter- Part-time caregiver / ism- habit or manner

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COMMENTS:

Especially if the baby sitter is Mrs. Malaprop! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 18:59:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pol lee tek neek

Sentence: When Uncle Mikey babysat the Miller's parrot on their annual vacation, she usually learned a new pollytechnique. This year Polly added 3 new swear words to her vocabulary. These words only seemed to be used when the easily-offended were around. You just cannot unteach an old bird new tricks...

Etymology: Polly (common name for a parrot) I Technique (skillfulness in the command of fundamentals deriving from practice and familiarity) & word play on Polytechnic (a technical school offering instruction in many industrial arts and applied sciences)

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pat-rih-bull-dree

Sentence: Dear Mr. Silverstein, I'm writing to you today concerning the behavior of your son, Andrew Dice, in my morning kindergarten class. He has become somewhat of a distraction to the class, and I have to question whether or not he is being exposed to the proper developmental tools at home. His sense of humor is overly mature for a class of this level, and I don't think it would be inaccurate to state that he has the vocabulary of a longshoreman. When asked to share his favorite nursery rhyme in class the other day, he recited a profane perversion of "Jack and Jill". He laughs alound whenever someone mentions playing with balls at recess, or I chastise a member of the class for eating paste. I caught a member of the class a week ago giving herself a haircut with the safety shears, and Andrew suggested that she use them for a "Brazillian". He routinely pulls the covers off of female members of the class during nap time, throws a handful of change at them, and tells them "you gotta get outta here". Whether patribaldry is to blame or some other member of your family has instilled these poor behaviors, this must be corrected, or we will have no other option but to remove your child from our school. Sincerely, Mrs. Abagail Trenton, Sunny Heights Grade School

Etymology: patri - of the father, ribaldry - obscene or improper behavior

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COMMENTS:

Nice word and story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:13:00

Cringed over the sentence. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:18:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: un-cool-tom-foo-la-ree

Sentence: what uncooltomfoolery is this? I leave you in your uncle's care for just 1 day and he has set about untraining the good habits we instilled in you. Now scrub off that ridiculous tattoo and put the bottle back in the wine rack.

Etymology: uncool (not approved) + uncle (someone often entrusted to care for nieces and nephews) + tomfoolery (nonsense) + uncle tom (yes i have one of those)

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Created by: ddove60

Pronunciation: u mor upt

Sentence: "If uncle Mike umorupts one more child in this house, he will not be welcome for next weeks Nascar race."

Etymology: Humor + Corrupt

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Created by: craigfu

Pronunciation: mis-uhn-top-ik

Sentence: When Billy demonstrated the misantopic his older brother Rick had taught him at dinner, the family was barred from the restaurant indefinitely.

Etymology: misanthropic(hating humankind) + topic(subject,occupation)

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COMMENTS:

Unique angle, choice of words, and verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:13:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: nan/ni/riz/um

Sentence: We just put our three-year olds ability to swear with an accent down to another nannierism learned from his live-in babysitter.

Etymology: NANNIERISM - noun - from NANNY (a person employed to care for children in a household) + MANNERISM (Exaggerated, or affected style, or habit, as in dress, or speech)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bäbnäkshəs

Sentence: Sending her kids to spend the summer with her brother Robert seemed like a good idea at the time. What Sharon got back was two kids loaded down with Bobnoxious tricks and stunts; everything from ”pull my finger” from Janie, her 4-year old to pails of water over her door from 7-year old Tom. She can’t wait until next summer when she hosts Bob’s kids.

Etymology: Bob (nickname for Robert) obnoxious (extremely unpleasant)

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