Verboticisms

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pat-rih-bull-dree

Sentence: Dear Mr. Silverstein, I'm writing to you today concerning the behavior of your son, Andrew Dice, in my morning kindergarten class. He has become somewhat of a distraction to the class, and I have to question whether or not he is being exposed to the proper developmental tools at home. His sense of humor is overly mature for a class of this level, and I don't think it would be inaccurate to state that he has the vocabulary of a longshoreman. When asked to share his favorite nursery rhyme in class the other day, he recited a profane perversion of "Jack and Jill". He laughs alound whenever someone mentions playing with balls at recess, or I chastise a member of the class for eating paste. I caught a member of the class a week ago giving herself a haircut with the safety shears, and Andrew suggested that she use them for a "Brazillian". He routinely pulls the covers off of female members of the class during nap time, throws a handful of change at them, and tells them "you gotta get outta here". Whether patribaldry is to blame or some other member of your family has instilled these poor behaviors, this must be corrected, or we will have no other option but to remove your child from our school. Sincerely, Mrs. Abagail Trenton, Sunny Heights Grade School

Etymology: patri - of the father, ribaldry - obscene or improper behavior

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COMMENTS:

Nice word and story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:13:00

Cringed over the sentence. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:18:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: nip - in - the - beek

Sentence: Someone's in the kitchen with Mynah! Someone taught him to say "*****". Help! I don't know how to stop Mynah from saying that! How do I nipinthebeak?

Etymology: Play on "Nip in the Bud" which means to stop it before it gets worse. Beak: bird's bill, slang term for mouth. Obviously, the cartoon inspried this bit of nonesense.

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Created by: freiflug

Pronunciation: /kəˈreskɒnvəˈluːted/

Sentence: "After I have received my turtle Frances back from my brother-in-law, all he does is nibbling the telephone cable. Frances has totally been caressconvoluted."

Etymology: caress: to touch or kiss lovingly; to fondle convulsion: an intense, paroxysmal, involuntary muscular contraction; an uncontrolled fit, as of laughter; a paroxysm Convulsion hereby alters/modifies the meaning of "caress", concluding in a somewhat spoiled interpretation of caressing sth. or so.

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Created by: ddove60

Pronunciation: u mor upt

Sentence: "If uncle Mike umorupts one more child in this house, he will not be welcome for next weeks Nascar race."

Etymology: Humor + Corrupt

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: un-cool-tom-foo-la-ree

Sentence: what uncooltomfoolery is this? I leave you in your uncle's care for just 1 day and he has set about untraining the good habits we instilled in you. Now scrub off that ridiculous tattoo and put the bottle back in the wine rack.

Etymology: uncool (not approved) + uncle (someone often entrusted to care for nieces and nephews) + tomfoolery (nonsense) + uncle tom (yes i have one of those)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: shap-er-CAYN-ery

Sentence: While keeping the hunting dog of his brother in law, Denny, while Denny was on vacation Filbert resorted to some underhanded chapercanery to teach the old dog some new and socially unacceptable new tricks.

Etymology: Blend of chaperon and chicanery

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: an-i-mal-ess-tord

Sentence: Uncle animalesstord Polly Parrot so that anytime anyone spoke to the bird it cursed.

Etymology: A play on the words Animal and the word Molested

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: sir-oh-grate

Sentence: I hesistated to let my brother watch my child as he proved his status as a surrohgreat last time when he taught her a score of filthy limericks.

Etymology: surrogate + oh great!

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COMMENTS:

Took me a moment to parse this one, but it made me chuckle when it clicked. - ErWenn, 2008-02-26: 10:12:00

it sort of reminds me of sewer grate which would be a grate place for filthy limericks - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 13:24:00

Wouldn't you like to gate the mouths on the sirs who are surrohgreats! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:07:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: swin/dil/brake/ur

Sentence: Joey was supposed to keep our puppy on a rigorous diet while we were away but instead fed it junk food which lead to uncontrolable farting. Henceforth we think of Joey as a swindlebreaker.

Etymology: swindle (take advantage of, cheat) + break wind

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Created by: nickmarziani

Pronunciation: Neg-lah-dance

Sentence: Karen, look at the neglidance little Susie is doing. Your bastard brother must have let her watch MTV again.

Etymology: Negligence + Dance, of course.

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