Verboticisms

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: kən-Tawrk

Sentence: As I watched my girlfriend contorque to open the jar of peanut butter, I thought to myself, “This is not 'good' naked.”

Etymology: Latin contorquēre Latin torques

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Created by: Whittier

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Created by: sakaesakae

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: järzilə

Sentence: John is often called upon to do battle with jarzilla. His manhood is truly challenged when he can’t get a simple pickle jar open. The insult is even worse when his petite wife opens one with ease. He always claims he had it 90% open when she got it.

Etymology: jar (a wide-mouthed, cylindrical container made of glass or pottery, esp. one used for storing food.) + Godzilla (prehistoric monster featured in a series of Japanese films from 1955)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rist sist

Sentence: Stanley could normally open anything but this pickle jar was determined to wristsist all his efforts. Try as he mite, he could not open it. What he did not realize was that he had met the leader of the Wristsistance in his fridge, Colonel Cornichon. The Colonel had dilliberately held his position and mobilized his highly trained commandos, The Gherkins, to hold off Stanley's attacks. When Stanley held their stronghold under hot water and tapped it with a knife, the Colonel knew the siege was almost over and mustard his courage and sent out an SOS (Sweet or Sour) signal: "Mayo-day, Mayo-day, we don't relish this a salt. Although we've worked hard for our bread and butter, pickles, it is time to use our brines and admit defeat, since wristsistance is futile and sing the old war songs. 'Goodbye, Piccallili, Farewell Leicester Square, it's a long, long way to sip a sherry, but my heart's right there'. Dill we meet again, in the Alimentary Canal, I salute you."

Etymology: Wrist (a joint between the distal end of the radius and the proximal row of carpal bones) & Resist (refuse to comply;withstand the force of something;elude, especially in a baffling way)

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COMMENTS:

Can't open the pickle jar? No big dill! Great paranomasiac story... - LoftyDreamer, 2008-09-29: 20:23:00

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Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: strain-jury

Sentence: He developed a strainjary trying to open the jar.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tork chewer

Sentence: The torqueture was all the more painful because he didn't even like branston pickle.

Etymology: torque, torture

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COMMENTS:

maybe he should dill-iberate more when he chooses his pickles - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-30: 12:15:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: rice pudding with a speech impediment rythe-pudding

Sentence: Yet again, Andy resorted to writhepudding to extract his dessert from the tin without a can opener. But it was a fruitless exercise. His strength was already depleted from the contortellini to obtain his first course.

Etymology: rice pudding + writhe

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Mawtch-o-lim-in-ayshun

Sentence: Failing to open the jar after four attempts Delbert suffered a bout of depressing macholimination.

Etymology: Macho + elimination

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Created by: retoricaljoe

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