Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: järzilə

Sentence: John is often called upon to do battle with jarzilla. His manhood is truly challenged when he can’t get a simple pickle jar open. The insult is even worse when his petite wife opens one with ease. He always claims he had it 90% open when she got it.

Etymology: jar (a wide-mouthed, cylindrical container made of glass or pottery, esp. one used for storing food.) + Godzilla (prehistoric monster featured in a series of Japanese films from 1955)

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Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Larry sprained his wrist fracturning the jar, but the pickles were just fine.

Etymology: fracture-turn

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rist sist

Sentence: Stanley could normally open anything but this pickle jar was determined to wristsist all his efforts. Try as he mite, he could not open it. What he did not realize was that he had met the leader of the Wristsistance in his fridge, Colonel Cornichon. The Colonel had dilliberately held his position and mobilized his highly trained commandos, The Gherkins, to hold off Stanley's attacks. When Stanley held their stronghold under hot water and tapped it with a knife, the Colonel knew the siege was almost over and mustard his courage and sent out an SOS (Sweet or Sour) signal: "Mayo-day, Mayo-day, we don't relish this a salt. Although we've worked hard for our bread and butter, pickles, it is time to use our brines and admit defeat, since wristsistance is futile and sing the old war songs. 'Goodbye, Piccallili, Farewell Leicester Square, it's a long, long way to sip a sherry, but my heart's right there'. Dill we meet again, in the Alimentary Canal, I salute you."

Etymology: Wrist (a joint between the distal end of the radius and the proximal row of carpal bones) & Resist (refuse to comply;withstand the force of something;elude, especially in a baffling way)

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COMMENTS:

Can't open the pickle jar? No big dill! Great paranomasiac story... - LoftyDreamer, 2008-09-29: 20:23:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tork chewer

Sentence: The torqueture was all the more painful because he didn't even like branston pickle.

Etymology: torque, torture

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COMMENTS:

maybe he should dill-iberate more when he chooses his pickles - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-30: 12:15:00

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Created by: stilt

Pronunciation: dil'-vawlt

Sentence: Stan was determined to free the crisp, Kosher Vlasics from the dillvault. Unfortunately, he chipped a filling while attempting to dillvault the stubborn lid.

Etymology: dillvault from "dill", a spice used in making pickles, and "vault", a safe.

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: her-cue-low-pen

Sentence: Billy strained for 15 minutes trying to herculopen the jar of olives, he gave up and decided to have his martini without. Miranda popped the jar with a simple flick of her wrist.

Etymology: hercules - noted strong man of ancient Greece + open

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Created by: iluvenglish

Pronunciation: sroo-hard

Sentence: he has been srewharding onto that bottle of gatorade for the past fifteen minutes for exercise.

Etymology: screw, hard

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Created by: Whittier

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: CON-voh-lid

Sentence: Mack convolidded his body until he heard the popping release. But examining the pickles he discovered that the noise had come from his elbow.

Etymology: Convo(lute) + lid

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Created by: Kevcom

Pronunciation: Buh-stah-straèèss

Sentence: Georgie Choo bustastressed the old pickle jar t'ill it cracked, and his hands were bleeding, and his eyes were red and his face was pink, and his wife was saying "What a douche - give me that jar, I'll open it!"

Etymology: Bust (bust open) á (at) stress (stressing levels)

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