Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rist sist

Sentence: Stanley could normally open anything but this pickle jar was determined to wristsist all his efforts. Try as he mite, he could not open it. What he did not realize was that he had met the leader of the Wristsistance in his fridge, Colonel Cornichon. The Colonel had dilliberately held his position and mobilized his highly trained commandos, The Gherkins, to hold off Stanley's attacks. When Stanley held their stronghold under hot water and tapped it with a knife, the Colonel knew the siege was almost over and mustard his courage and sent out an SOS (Sweet or Sour) signal: "Mayo-day, Mayo-day, we don't relish this a salt. Although we've worked hard for our bread and butter, pickles, it is time to use our brines and admit defeat, since wristsistance is futile and sing the old war songs. 'Goodbye, Piccallili, Farewell Leicester Square, it's a long, long way to sip a sherry, but my heart's right there'. Dill we meet again, in the Alimentary Canal, I salute you."

Etymology: Wrist (a joint between the distal end of the radius and the proximal row of carpal bones) & Resist (refuse to comply;withstand the force of something;elude, especially in a baffling way)

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COMMENTS:

Can't open the pickle jar? No big dill! Great paranomasiac story... - LoftyDreamer, 2008-09-29: 20:23:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: her-cue-low-pen

Sentence: Billy strained for 15 minutes trying to herculopen the jar of olives, he gave up and decided to have his martini without. Miranda popped the jar with a simple flick of her wrist.

Etymology: hercules - noted strong man of ancient Greece + open

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Created by: jesster

Pronunciation: her - knee - ae - tik - ally

Sentence: After Marilyn left to take Joe to the hospital, the rest of us conceded that the jar was herniaetially sealed. No one would be having pickles that night.

Etymology: hernia + hermetically (sealed)

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Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation: e-pic-twist

Sentence: John was epictwisting so long to open the jar of tomato sauce that he began to hyperventilate.

Etymology: epic (saga) Twist (to turn)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: järzilə

Sentence: John is often called upon to do battle with jarzilla. His manhood is truly challenged when he can’t get a simple pickle jar open. The insult is even worse when his petite wife opens one with ease. He always claims he had it 90% open when she got it.

Etymology: jar (a wide-mouthed, cylindrical container made of glass or pottery, esp. one used for storing food.) + Godzilla (prehistoric monster featured in a series of Japanese films from 1955)

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Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: mah/cheez/bo

Sentence: Judith did her best to never show up at family potlucks, parties, etc. early. She did not want to take the chance that her macheesebeau Ernie might end up in the kitchen with Mom. He didn't know the first thing about cooking. He just liked to impress Mom with his strength. Unfortunately, nine times out of ten, Mom would finally say, "Give that to me!" as she grabbed and with one swift twist opened the jars Ernie had just busted a nut on trying to get open. :)

Etymology: Macho Cheeseball Beau

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: twist/tort

Sentence: Johnny when opening a tight lid on a ketchup bottle is able to twistort his whole body, especially his face, to help him open the bottle.

Etymology: twist + distort

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: S

Sentence: Henry, despite all his schroucherization, could not budge the cap from Helen's bottle of nail polish remover.

Etymology:

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: krok o dyal

Sentence: When she met him , he told her he was from Australia and wrangled crocdiles for a living and was known as Crocodile Dundee. But when he had great trouble opening the jar of marmite, she knew he was actually Crockodile Dumdee.

Etymology: Crock (a jar, often earthenware;load of nonsense, foolish talk) and Crocodile (large voracious aquatic reptile;similar to an alligator)

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Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: Cir cum fail urence

Sentence: When the vein in his head popped out of place after a long bout of circumfailurence, he handed the jar to his wife who opened it easily. "I loosened it for you," he boasted.

Etymology: Circumference (the size of something as given by the distance around it) & failure (not successful)

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COMMENTS:

love the sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-26: 15:06:00

Happens everyday in households round the world... - Nosila, 2008-09-26: 20:21:00

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