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'I can open this thing!'

DEFINITION: v., To strain with all your might in a desperate effort to open a sealed container, such as a jar of pickles. n., A small jar which cannot be opened.

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Verboticisms

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Contorque

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: kən-Tawrk

Sentence: As I watched my girlfriend contorque to open the jar of peanut butter, I thought to myself, “This is not 'good' naked.”

Etymology: Latin contorquēre Latin torques

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Scrench

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈskɹɛntʃ/

Sentence: Once, when presented with a jar with a lid sealed shut by dried-out shoe polish, my grandfather screnched the jar into pieces.

Etymology: From screw + wrench. Kinda sounds like "clench", which is what one does with one's teeth while screnching.

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COMMENTS:

True story about my grandfather. Cut him up pretty badly, but still a very impressive display of manhood. (As with all impressive displays of manhood, a certain degree of stupidity is a necessity.) - ErWenn, 2007-10-30: 11:06:00

Your word sums up well the effort and feeling of the task. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-30: 16:52:00

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Herniaetical

Created by: jesster

Pronunciation: her - knee - ae - tik - ally

Sentence: After Marilyn left to take Joe to the hospital, the rest of us conceded that the jar was herniaetially sealed. No one would be having pickles that night.

Etymology: hernia + hermetically (sealed)

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Bustastress

Created by: Kevcom

Pronunciation: Buh-stah-straèèss

Sentence: Georgie Choo bustastressed the old pickle jar t'ill it cracked, and his hands were bleeding, and his eyes were red and his face was pink, and his wife was saying "What a douche - give me that jar, I'll open it!"

Etymology: Bust (bust open) á (at) stress (stressing levels)

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Scroucherize

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: S

Sentence: Henry, despite all his schroucherization, could not budge the cap from Helen's bottle of nail polish remover.

Etymology:

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Torquemate

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) tôrk'ē-māt

Sentence: Max torquemated the mason jar lid until his fingers bled and teeth cracked.

Etymology: From Torquemada (1420 – 1498, first Inquisitor General of Spain, as a homage to his torture techniques) + -ate (suffix = a stem on which a verb may be formed)

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Gestimusculus

Created by: sakaesakae

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Twistort

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: twist/tort

Sentence: Johnny when opening a tight lid on a ketchup bottle is able to twistort his whole body, especially his face, to help him open the bottle.

Etymology: twist + distort

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Jarzilla

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: järzilə

Sentence: John is often called upon to do battle with jarzilla. His manhood is truly challenged when he can’t get a simple pickle jar open. The insult is even worse when his petite wife opens one with ease. He always claims he had it 90% open when she got it.

Etymology: jar (a wide-mouthed, cylindrical container made of glass or pottery, esp. one used for storing food.) + Godzilla (prehistoric monster featured in a series of Japanese films from 1955)

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Hercumiliate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: hur-kew-MIL-ee-ate

Sentence: After months of body-building at the gymn, Bob found himself totally hercumiliated, when in front of his entire family and many of his friends he couldn't, despite straining every muscle, open a jar of jam.

Etymology: Blend of Hercules: greek mythical hero celebrated for his great strength & humiliate.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-30: 04:21:00
Today's definition was suggested by Clayton. Thank you Clayton! ~ James'

petaj petaj - 2007-10-30: 09:11:00
That guy in the cartoon ought to have some droolpickles with all that effort.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-30: 11:38:00
Hey Petaj, Good idea! I have added some Pavlovian droolpickles. (You may need to reload to see the updated image.) ~ James

Kevcom - 2007-10-30: 15:39:00
Print it out! Print it out! Soooo Good just like the last!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-31: 00:56:00
Thanks Kevcom! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-31: 01:21:00
VERBOTOMY BLOG PARTY: November 1, 2007 is Verbotomy's first birthday! We are having a Blog Party to celebrate. Everybody is invited to the Verbotomy Blog to chat. All comments will be published as soon as you post them, so bring your favorite words and definitions and we'll chat. Go to http://www.verbotomy.com/blog. Talk to you then! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-31: 04:20:00
The droolpickles look great. He must have been salivating in anticipation.

November - 2008-09-30: 07:53:00
or Ajarafarce Where the ending is also the word *farce • noun 1 a comic dramatic work or genre using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including ludicrously improbable situations. 2 an absurd event.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-25: 00:02:00
Today's definition was suggested by Clayton. Thank you Clayton. ~ James