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'I've been working out on this ab machine every day for a week'

DEFINITION: n. The creepy pounds that sneak onto your waist even though you've been exercising and watching what you eat. v. To exercise rigorously, diet fastidiously, and yet still gain weight.

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Verboticisms

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Cowisthenics

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kou-uhs-then-iks

Sentence: Roger goes to the gym on a regular basis. What he calls a workout rarely involves much work. His cowisthenics usually involve hoofing it to the closest vending machine for an "energy" drink and "health" bar. On a really energetic visit he might be moooved to join a short basketball game, take a quick shower and herd for the donut shop on his way home to replenish all those expended carbs.

Etymology: cow (a mature bovine) + calisthenics (gymnastic exercises designed to develop physical health and vigor)

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Fatscites

lplybon

Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Fat-SI-tees"

Sentence: Over the past four months -- after her doctor scared the beejeesus out of her -- Sophie has religiously exercised, watched what she eats, and even goes to those (sometimes really irritating) support groups. And the result? A total loss of three stinking pounds. And to add insult to injury, Sophie notices that her fascites seems to have grown! How can that be!?!

Etymology: Combination of the word "fat" and "ascites"

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Killerjoules

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: kil-err-joolz

Sentence: every time he attempted to lose weight he would be ambushed by killerjoules

Etymology: killer, kilojoules

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COMMENTS:

So true! So Powerful! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:11:00

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Fitneglitch

moondragon

Created by: moondragon

Pronunciation: fit-nuh-glitch

Sentence: There must be some kind of fitneglitch in this exercise plan. My daily work out just seems to make my love handles bigger.

Etymology: A combination of fitness (health) + glitch (error).

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Asstonnagement

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ass/tun/aj/ment

Sentence: Sally gasped with asstonnagement when she tried to sit in her favourite chair and found she couldn't fit any longer - so much for those protein bars.

Etymology: ass + tonnage + astonishment

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COMMENTS:

Cute word - Nosila, 2009-01-09: 19:53:00

Very memorable! Nice way to say being overweight is a real pain in the a** ...in more ways than one. Sticks in my memory like Sally's bottom sticks in the chair! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-09: 20:51:00

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Stealthfood

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: stellth-food

Sentence: The scale gave a small muffled electronic scream when Andy brought his full weight to bear. He was just about done with trying to shape up; two weeks of treadmill and proper diet had led to a 5-pound gain. Unfortunately, Andy had been mistaken in his meal-selecting logic, and all of the sensible meals he had recently consumed were in fact stealthfoods. The 8-oz portion of fish the night before, for example, had come from an Eastern Stoned Lardwrasse. After a lazy afternoon on the reef smoking reefer, the fish had consumed a bag of Funyuns, 3 Big Macs, 2 orders of fries, a chocolate shake, and a carton of Haagen Daazs. Leaving his friends laughing in his enormous wake, calling him names like "Marlin Brando", the lardwrasse had groggily stumbled into a waiting net, his certain doom, and another veneer of fat on Andy's barely denim-constrained buttocks.

Etymology: stealth + food; ala healthfood

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COMMENTS:

What a witty twist to come up with an eat-it-self-to-death fish that packs weight on humans! Topped off with a meaning full great pun! Excellent Won! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:06:00

Now I know why I almost bought that bag of Bloomin' Onion Crisps at the store tonight. Bastard Banky! (Sorry James!) Nice word! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-19: 20:55:00

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Gutchels

Created by: ShadeTanner

Pronunciation: gut-chills

Sentence: If you have gutchels, see a health professional because there's most likely a medical concern causing this.

Etymology:

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Exerkingsize

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: eksərkingsīz

Sentence: Despite working out, Randy finds himself an exerkingsize larger.

Etymology: exercise (activity requiring physical effort, carried out esp. to sustain or improve health and fitness) + king-size (of a larger size than the standard; very large : a king-sized bed.)

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Ninjoules

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: nin-jewels

Sentence: Dear Lord, "So grant me strength that I may not fall, Into the clutches of cholesterol. May my flesh with carrot curls be sated That my soul may be polyunsaturated. And show me the light that I may bear witness To the President's Council on Physical Fitness." Deliver us from ninjoules so those sneaky pounds won't make us fools. Amen Quoted section by Victor Buono "The fat man's prayer" -- http://www.themadmusicarchive.com/song_details.aspx?SongID=3657.

Etymology: ninja (practitioners of japanese espionage, characterised by stealth) + joules (units of energy, that are easily converted into adipose tissue by the unsuspecting couch potato)

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COMMENTS:

Great fat man's prayer! Great Word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 09:58:00

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Fattimosis

Created by: paperhoard

Pronunciation: Fatty-mo-sis

Sentence: Jim seems to gain weight by simply having fatty food near his paunch. Scientifically this process is called fattimosis, fat traveling from one area to another directly through the paunch layer. Jim is now at the point where he can butter his bread simply by rubbing it across his stomach.

Etymology: Fatty + Osmosis

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COMMENTS:

Great last line ... Great Verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-19: 10:46:00

very funny - bookowl, 2008-03-19: 14:23:00

Thank you! - paperhoard, 2008-03-19: 14:46:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Mustang - 2008-03-19: 00:49:00
Infatsyouate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-26: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

hombwedleMi - 2018-05-26: 08:39:00
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hombwedleMi - 2018-05-26: 11:22:00
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