Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Punishmint
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: pənishmint
Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.
Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)
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COMMENTS:
OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00
Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00
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Perverdict
Created by: rombus
Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt
Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.
Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest
Fauxtence
Created by: abrakadeborah
Pronunciation: foe-tense
Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Fakkier, your fauxtence requires that you have a staff of thirty people to make sure you abide by the rules of the court, to maintain a lifestyle of luxury...via our tax payers.
Etymology: Faux - Not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article. Tense; taken in part from the word Sentence - Court judgment, especially a judicial decision of the punishment to be inflicted on one adjudged guilty.
Dracomicarceration
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: dra-COMIC-are-sur-AY-shun (DRACOMICARCERATE)
Sentence: Judge Mentill-Case was not elected. He was a political apointee who wielded his gavel with wild abandon. Ever since his pet pug was flattened by a Lexus, he delighted in enforcing the hamlet's no-cell-phone driving ordinance. His punishment for a first offender was removal of all glass on the vehicle. Second offense entailed driving with snow chains on all four tires for a year. Third offense was DRACOMICARCERATION-confinement to a Volkswagon Beetle with the doors welded shut. The Judge's career ended when he crashed into a Starbuck's while texting.
Etymology: DRAconic+COMIc+inCARCERATION= DRACOMICARCRATION.....DRACONIC:of, relating to, or characteristic of Draco or the severe code of laws held to have been framed by him; Latin Dracon-, Draco, from Greek Drakōn Draco (Athenian lawgiver).....COMIC: causing laughter or amusement, funny, of, relating to, or marked by comedy; Latin comicus, from Greek kōmikos, from kōmos revel(1576).....INCARCERATE: to subject to confinement, to put in prison, to punish; Latin incarceratus, past participle of incarcerare, from in- + carcer prison Date: 1560,
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COMMENTS:
Here come da Judge...cute story. It took a latte to get rid of that judge! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:42:00
Great triple word play! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:49:00
Thanks, kids! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 20:46:00
THE BEARS' "CAR CAUGHT FIRE" WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE CINCINNATI ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS.
On November 26, 2001, just 4 years after being inducted into CEA's Hall of Fame, the Bears won Album Of The Year for Car Caught Fire. Rob Fetters and Bob Nyswonger accepted the award shortly after Rob's solo performance of the Bears' "As You Are". - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:39:00
www.thebearsmusic.com - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:40:00
LIVE IT or LIVE WITH IT! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 23:55:00
She was sick and tired of country life.
A little country home,
A little country folk,
Made her blood run cold.
Now her mother pines her heart away,
Looking for her child in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
Frailest, purest girl the world has seen,
According to her Ma, according to her Pa,
And everybody said,
That she knew no sin and did no wrong,
Till she walked the streets of the big black smoke,
Of the big black smoke.
Well, she slept in caffs and coffee bars and bowling alleys,
And every penny she had
Was spent on purple hearts and cigarettes.
She took all her pretty coloured clothes,
And ran away from home
And the boy next door,
For a boy named Joe.
And he took her money for the rent
And tried to drag her down in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:39:00
Sorry about that. I got carried away. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:41:00
I'd like to thank the JAMES GANG for providing a very entertaining outlet for the mad ramblings of very talented people.. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:48:00
Hear, Hear, metro! It's great to tell people you are in a gang! Respect! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:26:00
The creams rises to the TOP :) You're so creative Metrohumanx! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:05:00
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Higohoamercement
Created by: RightOnTheWin
Pronunciation: (Hig-o-ho\mər-smənt);Hig-hi-ho\a-merce-ment
Sentence: John was sentenced to pay a fine of fifteen thousand dollars for speeding; however the judge ruled this higōhōamercement as unconstitutional.
Etymology: Orgin:Higōhō(Japanese romaji), adjectival noun. Illegal; Unlawful. Amercement, noun. To punish by a fine whose amount is fixed by the court.
Maladaequojudicate
Created by: conflan
Pronunciation: n. mal'-ə-də-kwo-joo'-də-kət; v. mal'-ə-də-kwo-joo'-də-kate
Sentence: n. The O.J. Simpson trial was farcical, resulting as it did in an obvious maladaequojudicate. v. The teacher maladaequojudicated the student for eating in class with three years in an oubliette.
Etymology: mal: from French mal; from Latin male, meaning "badly." adaequo: from Latin adaequo, meaning "equalize" or "equal to the" judicate: from Medieval Latin judicatura, meaning "to judge" (judic-)+(-ate), a suffix occurring in loanwords from Latin.
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COMMENTS:
In the twitter bar, the word is mistyped: it's maladaequojudicate, not maladequojuzicate! Sorry. :-( - conflan, 2015-09-17: 19:11:00
Oops! It's also misspelled in the entry! - conflan, 2015-09-17: 19:14:00
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Felonelevate
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt
Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Elmer and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.
Etymology: Blend of felon and elevate.
Payadox
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: pay a dox
Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!
Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)
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COMMENTS:
so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00
Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00
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Inmaterial
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: in - mate - tear - e - all
Sentence: After Barney jaywalked near the general store, Andy meted out a sentence that was inmaterial to the crime. He threw Barney in the slammer for three days....Barney got to see what it was like being an inmate, except that Aunt Bea brought him supper every evening.
Etymology: Inmate + Imaterial >> Inmate (convict: a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison) Imaterial (extraneous: not pertinent to the matter under consideration)
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COMMENTS:
love the Mayberry reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:39:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James