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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Maskqueraid

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: mask/ur/ade

Sentence: No one knew which department he worked in but with his maskqueraid of blackbery and wireless headset he easily passed his day wandering and betting on horses

Etymology: masquerade + mask + aid

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Suppliesguise

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sup-plies-guys

Sentence: Herb was office supply guy and had charge of the stock room; however, we knew him as the "suppliesguise" because he'd spend the entire day running back and forth with paper, folders and what not just to make himself look busier than he really was. That wasn't so bad, but when anyone asked him to get supplies for them his response was, "I'm sorry, I'm too busy. You'll have to get it yourself!"

Etymology: supplies: provisions; furnish or equip + guise: an artful or simulated pretense

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Portfonio

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Phantofiles

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: fan/tuh/files

Sentence: John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise.

Etymology: phantom + files

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COMMENTS:

phantastic - Nosila, 2010-01-07: 18:50:00

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Fileusion

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyl loo zhun

Sentence: He was the Great Pretender in our office. Sadly, because he was a male, he got away with it for way longer than any female would even dare try. Yes, Seymour Dolittle, was a fileusion. He would stalk the halls carrying a file folder and pretend to "do his rounds" with nothing more than what turned out to be a pizza place menu and and a bus schedule in his file folder. He fooled the senior management for over 5 years (the ladies in the company twigged on after a year or two, but had nowhere to lodge their concerns). When the cuts came, no one could salvage Seymour, as he worked for no one, did not report to anyone and could never successfully explain his presence in the hallowed halls. Luckily for him, he worked long enough to collect a great pension, unemployment insurance and a tasty severance for all his hard-worked time. Nice work if you can get it...and he wasn't even a CEO of anything!

Etymology: File (a set of related records (either written or electronic) kept together) & Illusion (an erroneous mental representation; the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas; an illusory feat; considered magical by naive observers)

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Shamanila

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sha man ila

Sentence: Steve was the shamanila at the office. Most of his 8 hour shift was devoted to avoiding work. He had carried around his faithful manila folder daily trying to look busy. For 8 years he had fooled everyone. Until the day he got his new manager, Liz. She asked him to write out his job description. How in the world was he going to turn his one sentence actual duties (Carries around a file folder.) into a whole page or two of action verbs and activities?

Etymology: Sham (a person who makes deceitful pretenses;something that is a counterfeit; not what it seems to be) & Manila (a strong paper or thin cardboard with a smooth light brown finish made from e.g. Manila hemp & Shaman (one who practices sorcery)

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Maloprop

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: mal-o-prop

Sentence: Eric is so retro, Petra thought. Everytime she saw him cross the office floor on his way from the men's room to his desk, she had to laugh. Oh yeah, he just had to carry those maloprops to show everyone he knew what it was like in the 20th century. It was ludicrous. And, then if you said something, he had such excuses...like he didn't understand there were better ways of doing things.

Etymology: From mal, Latin/Romance languages, for bad or sick + prop for a property used for show. Also a play on the word malapropism, the ludicrous misuse of a word. In this case, the ludicrous misuse of a prop.

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Busybobbin

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: BIHZ-ee-bahb-ihn

Sentence: The stack of files and papers at Alex's desk proved to be a most effective busybobbin, as no-one knew about his large Lego fort he was constructing behind it.

Etymology: busy + bobbin (trinket) + busybody

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COMMENTS:

Grr, I meant bauble, not bobbin. Oh, well. - mplsbohemian, 2007-06-13: 22:30:00

Sounds good either way. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 23:54:00

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Bogustrive

Created by: kendriveset

Pronunciation: bo-ga-strive

Sentence: Jim took more effort to bogustrive around the office than it would\'ve taken to actually do some work.

Etymology: bogus + strive

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COMMENTS:

good one - Nosila, 2010-01-07: 18:50:00

thanks so much - kendriveset, 2010-01-08: 15:48:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James