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'Why do you always carry that file folder?'

DEFINITION: n. A prop (e.g. papers, files or any non-functional equipment) used to create the illusion of busyness. v. To use office supplies to create the illusion that you are working.

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Verboticisms

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Phantofiles

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: fan/tuh/files

Sentence: John had six different coloured sets of phantofiles he alternated at various times of the day to keep 'The Man' off his case and to demonstrate his industriousness and multitasking abilities. "Damn, he's good!" thought his boss. "He's completed three different projects today and it's only noon." John's phantofiles put him in line for a raise.

Etymology: phantom + files

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COMMENTS:

hmm - good ploy - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 10:53:00

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Figmendation

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fig men day shun

Sentence: As a long time civil servant in the federal Department of the Obscure and Forgotten Files, Roger was the King of the Toadies. He spent his entire workday carrying around a file folder which was labelled S.M.A.R.T. It looked very official and proved to the innocent bystander or visitor that Roger was a man with a special mission and purpose in his work. In fact the S.M.A.R.T. File was a figmendation. It usually contained a crossword puzzle or scratch & win cards, which Roger would spend his days at work playing. His co-workers thought that the S.M.A.R.T. stood for Segregated Modules Actualizing Relative Theory. In fact, the S.M.A.R.T. acronym actually stood for See Me Avoiding Real Toil. Yes, Roger was also known by his more popular nickname: The SmartFile Dodger!

Etymology: figment (a contrived or fantastic idea, i.e: a figment of the imagination) & mendacious (intentionally untrue;lying)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Did Riger work at the Texas Blog Suppository? Ya crack me up, Nose! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:37:00

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Fauxsimile

Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: foh-sim-ill-lay

Sentence: Darren gathered his fauxsimiles and strode around the office like a man possessed. 'A few more laps,' he thought, 'and I could be managing partner.'

Etymology: faux/facsimile

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Simulaborig

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: SIM-uhl-AY-bore-ig

Sentence: The Bearded One entered with a brushed-aluminum clipboard under his arm, knowing it would cause a stir amongst the real workers. Every week he carried a new SIMULABORIG which gave the impression of semi-competence and enthusiasm which fooled no one. Last time it was a P.D.A. which made his productivity plummet faster than his dignity. His vain attempts to impress the boss ranged from a simple legal pad to a glowing little spaceship planted in his ear. Last year he attemped to SIMULABORIG a staff meeting but the only wireless hotspot was behind his sweaty forehead. The office joke was that he had a whole toybox full of SIMULABORIGS to shamelessly display at every opportunity. His manifolderol seemed to have no end. He would always carry some ubiquitool, unencumbered by any knowledge of its function. Particularly fond of pseudotechnocrap, he subscribed to every high-end gizmoid catalog available. Despite the appearance of The Bearded One's weekly McGuffen, his job performance brought new meaning to the word "adequate".

Etymology: SIMUlate+lABOr+RIG=SIMULABORIG_____ simulate: to give or assume the appearance or effect of... often with the intent to deceive--Latin "simulatus", past participle of "simulare"... to copy, represent, feign, from similis "like"_____ labor: expenditure of physical or mental effort especially when difficult or compulsory-Middle English, from Anglo-French labur, from Latin labor; perhaps akin to Latin labare to totter, labi to slip_____rig: to make or construct hastily or in a makeshift manner-Me riggen,prob of Scand.orig____variations: simulaborite, simulaborana, simulaborat, simulaborology etc.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx http://isitchristmas.com/ - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 08:41:00

metrohumanx My name is MetrohumanX and I improve this message. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-06: 16:26:00

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Portfonio

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pôrtˈfōnēˌō

Sentence: Gerry has all the correct business props, the pinstripe suit, the proper tie, the Blackberry. He is never seen without his portfolio. The truth; the suit is a cheap knock-off; the tie, a clip-on; Blackberry, a much too expensive cell phone and the portfolio, a portfonio that holds nothing more than his lunch.

Etymology: portfolio (a large, thin, flat case for loose sheets of paper such as drawings or maps) + phony (not genuine; fraudulent)

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Propccupied

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Prop-kyu-pide

Sentence: To avoid obtaining any more work from her boss that day, she used her clever wit to propccupy herself with a dead beatle and a piece of bagel.

Etymology: Prop (an object) + occupied (busy)

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Illusibusion

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ill-uge-ee-busy-un

Sentence: Stan was an expert at utilizing effective illusibusions - so much so that he was promoted to senior clerk.

Etymology: illusion + busy

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Fibdjet

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: Fib De Jet

Sentence: she fibdjeted with pieces of paper while looking @ the clock waiting from home time.

Etymology: Fib = to like & djet - ending of word fidget - meaning to behave or move nervously or restlessly.

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Slackcessory

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: slak-sess-or-ee

Sentence: Phil's slackcessory wasn't fooling anyone. The "tech manual" he was toting around was the instruction booklet for his lawn mower. Apparently, he was Fridazed when he took that course on shirkonomics.

Etymology: slack (to avoid work), accessory

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COMMENTS:

I thought a slackcessory was a new belt. - galwaywegian, 2007-06-13: 07:01:00

great one purple! - toadstool57, 2007-06-13: 07:07:00

Bravo! - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 07:42:00

very good!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 09:27:00

Galway - a belt would be a britch-hiker. And I'm quite pleased that I finally made a word that I actually like! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 10:33:00

actually purple I think a britch-hiker is a brilliant word for suspenders - how about a belt being a gutwrencher - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-13: 10:57:00

That's good! Wish one came with the squishsuit I bought this year. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-13: 11:21:00

"Slackcessory" is indeed a good word, though it sounds like it would apply equally to a device for enhancing the slacking experience (such as a Gameboy) as it would to a device for hiding the slacking experience. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:13:00

And "britch-hiker" is simply awesome. I think it's a generic term for anything that pulls your pants up, such as a belt, a pair of suspenders, or a wedgie-giver. - ErWenn, 2007-06-13: 14:14:00

the best - pguse, 2007-06-13: 14:55:00

Yep. Wished I thought of that. - texmom, 2007-06-13: 20:41:00

ErWenn makes a good point, but I think that words such as these might offer more utility than their highly specified synonyms. This one might have eight different sense of meaning. Perhaps more in America. - Clayton, 2007-06-13: 20:41:00

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Pendupe

sanssouci

Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: pen doop

Sentence: "I think I am going to pendupe for a while, I can't be botherd to do anymore work today but don't want Mr Stone to think I'm not pulling my weight in the office."

Etymology: pen - any of various instruments for writing or drawing with ink or a similar substance. A pen is a writing implement," c.1300, from O.Fr. penne "quill pen, feather," dupe - to make a dupe of; deceive; delude; trick. Dupe orriginates from 1680s, from Fr. dupe "deceived person," from M.Fr. duppe (early 15c.), thieves' jargon, probably from phrase de huppe "of the hoopoe," an extravagantly crested and reputedly stupid bird.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-13: 00:01:00
The "S" in Timothy Johnson's GUST stands for Strategy. And strategy is key! Especially if you are trying to get way with doing nothing. Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram and Timothy! ~ James

Rebekah - 2009-11-05: 18:33:00
Protaskinate

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-01-07: 00:38:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James