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'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Verboticisms

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Phlegmflam

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem flam

Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!

Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)

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Phleghoard

Created by: pilar1347

Pronunciation: FLEG-ord

Sentence: n: John is so sick the phelghoard on his night-stand is taller than the lamp! v: I know Mary has a cold, but she's been phelghoarding all over our shared workspace.

Etymology: A combination of phelgm and hoard.

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Feverdam

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: fee-vur-damm

Sentence: Rob's feverdam, cemented into place with rock-hard phlegmortar, completely interrupted the flow of traffic through the bedroom.

Etymology: fever + dam, ala beaver dam

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COMMENTS:

Funny sentence! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:23:00

Good stuff. - ErWenn, 2008-03-11: 01:11:00

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Tocsickwaste

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tok sik way ssst

Sentence: He drifted back into conciousness with the worrying news that the tocsickwaste beside the couch appeared to be moving. thoughts of a new mutant virus were quelled when he noticed the face of his pet chihuahua looking up throught the gunge filled kleenex.

Etymology: toxic waste, sick.

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COMMENTS:

poor chihuahua probably had a very glossy coat after that experience - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:28:00

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Moundusmucosi

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: moun-dus-myoo-coh-see

Sentence: Ellen couldn't get to Bob's bedside without kicking asside the moundusmucosi that had accumulated from mass of used tissues.

Etymology: moundus, mound + mucosi, mucus

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Tissidue

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TISH-i-dyoo

Sentence: You imprison me in the dark recesses of your bags and pockets until I'm ready to be used for your most basic needs. You wipe your filthy hands on me; you spit on me. You drown me in your fetid waste. You despise me, calling me a threat to your environment. You throw me away. But remember it was you who you made me what I am - tissidue - for there was a time when I was a tree.

Etymology: Blend of TISSUE & RESIDUE

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COMMENTS:

Tree mend us. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 10:46:00

how sad - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:58:00

Your sentence reminds me of "The Giving Tree" — albeit a more bitter version... - Tigger, 2008-03-10: 23:24:00

Poignant, yet elementree...where's my tissue? - Nosila, 2008-03-11: 22:36:00

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Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

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COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

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Tissueissue

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tiss - yew - iss - yew

Sentence: Darrell realized he had a major somewhat dangerous tissuissue with the growing pile of soiled kleenex but he felt too lousy to make the necessary effort to rectify it.

Etymology: combination of tissue and issue

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COMMENTS:

Nice! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:35:00

Rhymes are fun, fits the definition, it's a great one! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:02:00

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Phlegmbuoyance

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ants

Sentence: When Dougie was home sick, the zillions of tissues that he had sneezed, coughed and blown into were piled so high, his bed appeared to float on a sea of them.The fact that his jammies and bedding matched them, just demostrated to his servile mother his phlegmbuoyance.

Etymology: Phlegm (expectorated matter, saliva and other fluids secreted from facial openings) & Buoyance(ability to keep something afloat) & Flamboyance(extravagant elaborateness)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James