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'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Verboticisms

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Phlegmflam

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem flam

Sentence: When Oscar phoned in sick again, his boss, Mr. Ness, became suspicious and sent someone over to see what was happening. Instead of flimflam, this time Oscar really did have Phlegmflam and was surrounded in a pile of dirty tissues. His boss soon was sorry to doubt Oscar, as his agent not only got infected himself, but gave it to the boss on his report. After that he was known as Mr. Ill Ness!

Etymology: Phlegm (sputum;expectorated matter; saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages) & Flam (A lie or hoax; a deception or Nonsense; drivel). Wordplay on FlimFlam (a swindle in which you cheat)

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Inphlegmatory

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in flem a tor ee

Sentence: The Fire Marshall was certain to declare that the bedroom floor of Sal Iver's house was definitely an inphlegmatory risk. Sal had been sick with the flu for 2 days and had neither the skill nor the will to put all his used tissues in a receptacle. His bedroom was the site of much hankie pankie and the normally phlegmboyant Sal was reduced to that of a bronchialbuster who had not lasted long enough to win the big purse. The irony was that 2 days ago, he had planned to phone in sick to play hookey from work. He figured the word Gesundheit meant "serves you right". All this while his catarrh gently weeps...sniff, sniff!

Etymology: Inflammatory (characterized or caused by inflammation;unhealthy, detrimental to health) & Phlegm (Mucous,expectorated matter;saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages)

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COMMENTS:

Ack !! I wanted to use "phlegm" for this one. Let's see... there are three more body fluids, right? I mean, phlegm, blood, something and something else... Gosh this is going to be difficult. - XMbIPb, 2010-05-19: 02:48:00

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Topplesnot

Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: top'/el/snot

Sentence: "Be careful," she warned her guest, "I've had a nasty cold all weekend and I haven't cleaned up the topplesnots yet. There's one on the couch and one beside the la-z-boy, so watch your step."

Etymology: topple (to fall or tumble forward as from having too heavy of a top) + snot (mucus from the nasal passages)

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Kleenexsport

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kleen ex sport

Sentence: Lying in his sickbed, watching the Olympic Sports Channel all day, Ernie knew that he could win a gold medal for his country in the pathogen pentathlon: his nose runs, his eyes soar, his lip curls, his fever pitches and his body heats. He could do a slalom down the mountain of kleenexsport by the side of his bed. He would have to do a viral spiral to get to the bathroom before he had to luge again. Yes, his biohazard biathalon would end if he could only get some schuss time. His ailing body was truly an international competition: He put the "Germ" in Germany; the "chill" in Chile;the "I Ran" in Iran; the "Catarrh" in Qatar;and he had been feeling "Laos-y" all day!

Etymology: kleenex (a piece of soft absorbent paper usually two or more thin layers used as a disposable handkerchief) & export ( to transfer goods or to cause to spread) & sport (an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition)

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COMMENTS:

petaj His Doctor gave him vitamin C and said get it India. He also put the malaise in Malaysia and the 'ails' in Wales. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 10:03:00

great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:27:00

Great read and word! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:03:00

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Infloorendsza

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/flor/ends/za

Sentence: Josh had learned in his meditation class to let go of problems and let them float away so he put the teaching into practice used infloorendsza to rid himself of his germs carefully wrapped up in tissues.

Etymology: influenza + floor + ends + za (which is sort of like ya)

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COMMENTS:

Serendipsliptissue-ous! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:49:00

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Amalgamucus

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ə-māl'gə myōō'kəs

Sentence: Barney was 15 and a profuse masturbator, but he had been off his oats with a bad cold for several days, and the unholy assemblage beside his bed was part sploogepile and part amalgamucus.

Etymology: amalgam, a mixture or combination; mucus, a viscous, slimy mixture, chiefly mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts, secreted by glands lining the nasal and other body cavities; main binder in boogers.

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COMMENTS:

Good word. Only one thing to say after that sentence though — Ick! :[ - Tigger, 2008-03-10: 23:18:00

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Moundomuceosis

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: mound - o - meeook - ee - o - sis

Sentence: Todd looked at the growing moundomuceosis next to his bed and could not make a move to pick it up. Since yesterday, he had only been able to lay there, cough, sniff, sleep, sneeze, blow and throw.

Etymology: a combination of the word mound, mucus and mononucleosis. Mound (pile: a collection of objects laid on top of each other ) Mononucleosis (A flu-like illness caused by the Epstein-Barr virus) + Mucus (a material produced by glands in the airways, nose, and sinuses. Mucus cleans and protects certain parts of the body such as the lungs) Mononuc

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COMMENTS:

Great word! Made me go "Ick and yuck." - Mustang, 2009-01-04: 06:07:00

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Snotsam

Created by: bigveg

Pronunciation: snot-sam

Sentence: Bill was astonished by the amount of snotsam that could accumulate in just one night.

Etymology: snot: the stuff you put on a tissue flotsam: wreckage which can wash ashore

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COMMENTS:

HA! Love it! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 06:52:00

Perfect! - ErWenn, 2008-03-10: 09:47:00

petaj you can really pick em. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 09:52:00

excellent - galwaywegian, 2008-03-10: 11:03:00

Great creation! - Jamagra, 2008-03-10: 13:12:00

kashman you should feel floating yourself after picking this great one :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:13:00

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:56:00

Yep, you picked a winner! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:30:00

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Tissooze

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: tish/oze

Sentence: Winter! Oh damn winter!! Take me now with your freezing minus 27 celcius, sore throat, aching ears, massive sinus ache, chills!!! Warmth, where is the warmth?!!!! I give up!!!!! Heating pad, neck warmer, not even four blankets help!!!!!! Running nose, rolls of toilet paper resulting in a massive mountain of tissooze surrounding me, burying me, suffocating me, killing me!!!!!!! Take me now wretched winter!!!!!!!! I succumb to you bastard winter!!!!!!!!!

Etymology: TISSOOZE - noun - from TISSUE + OOZE

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COMMENTS:

Sentence, like the nose, drips with your suffering! Clever Creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 10:51:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James