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'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Verboticisms

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Phlegmageddon

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: flem-uh-GED-on

Sentence: So ill was Bob that he truly believed that he had died and been reincarnated as a nose. Despairingly he was a nose not of classic beauty such as a hepburn, but more in the mould of a durrante. And things didn't seem to be getting any better for him, for when the great Rhinobyl disaster struck, and not even a puff of air issued out of the quatrils of Nosetradamus, he started to believe the end was nigh. Fellow snoozles, konks, beaks and candlesticks gather around him, honkers heavenwards, looking for signuses, but the outlook remained grimaldi, things were, "C'est beaucoup." Indeed, he was sure, that a phlegmaggedon of tissumungous proportions was slowly enveloping him.

Etymology: PHlEGM: the thick mucus secreted in the respiratory passages and discharged through the mouth, esp. that occurring in the lungs and throat passages, as during a cold. 2. one of the four elemental bodily humors of medieval physiology, regarded as causing sluggishness or apathy. ARMAGEDDON: the last and completely destructive battle. Any great and crucial conflict.

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COMMENTS:

Great Sentence. Luv Jimmy Durante! Great way to start the new year ... with a great eponym! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:46:00

Sounds like Bob was quite phlegmatic. - Mustang, 2009-01-04: 06:09:00

Poor Bob, to be halluciphlegmatic and fighting the ultimate War of the Noses! - mweinmann, 2009-01-05: 16:33:00

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Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

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COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

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Viralysis

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: vi-RAL-a-sis

Sentence: Although Kevin was in danger of asphyxiation by tissue, his viralysis was total and he could do nothing more than drop another tissue onto the sodden snotscape.

Etymology: viral + paralysis

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COMMENTS:

kashman Brilliant...quite "snoty" analysis of the "paralysis" :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:00:00

this word really grows on you - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:57:00

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Biohazmat

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bīōhazmat

Sentence: Paul was so sick that he didn't even care that his attempt to contain his tissues had gone hopelessly astray. Between the sofa where he was curled up and the waste paper basket was a trail of used tissues — a mucous menace — a phlegm flow — a biohazmat. After 3 days the mass had started to congeal into a two-dimensional piñata from hell.

Etymology: Biohazard (a risk to human health or the environment arising from biological work) + hazmat (Hazardous materials and items) + mat (a small rug)

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COMMENTS:

Haz my vote... - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:03:00

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Tocsickwaste

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tok sik way ssst

Sentence: He drifted back into conciousness with the worrying news that the tocsickwaste beside the couch appeared to be moving. thoughts of a new mutant virus were quelled when he noticed the face of his pet chihuahua looking up throught the gunge filled kleenex.

Etymology: toxic waste, sick.

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COMMENTS:

poor chihuahua probably had a very glossy coat after that experience - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:28:00

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Phlegmzard

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: Flem-zard

Sentence: Fighting with cold left George so numb that he became indifferent to the phlegmzard created in the living room of his shared apartment; this apparent "coldness" resulted in exodus of his roomate to less hazardous environment.

Etymology: Phlegm (viscid mucus secreted while suffering from cold) + Hazard (source of danger).

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Tishubation

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: Tish you bay shun

Sentence: With red eyes, and an ever-flowing nose, Colter stumbled into work despite his head cold. He blew the day, and he blew work he needed to do, because he was too busy blowing his nose. His desk was covered with used tissues. Weak and unsteady, leaving his pile of tishubations, and weaving a trail of tishubations, he stumbled home.

Etymology: TITUBATION, TISSUE. TITUBATION - an unsteady or stumbling gait or a head tremor, often caused by a disorder in the cerebellum, a head disorder ... in this case a head disorder caused by the infected, mucous-filled sinuses from a cold. TISSUE - paper hankie, a square of absorbent paper used mainly to wipe areas of the face, especially the mucus flowing from the nose.

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COMMENTS:

Been there...done that - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:07:00

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Nosemasses

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: nose - mass - es

Sentence: Praying my cold will soon go away, my used tissues I lay ... in nosemasses at the side of my bed.

Etymology: NOSE: protruding part the face through which humans breathe. During a cold/flu, noses excrete mucous profusely usually disposed of in tissues that rise in nose-like peaks. MASSES: mounds, heaps, religious services.

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COMMENTS:

you should probably say the nosary as well - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:31:00

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Snotsam

Created by: bigveg

Pronunciation: snot-sam

Sentence: Bill was astonished by the amount of snotsam that could accumulate in just one night.

Etymology: snot: the stuff you put on a tissue flotsam: wreckage which can wash ashore

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COMMENTS:

HA! Love it! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 06:52:00

Perfect! - ErWenn, 2008-03-10: 09:47:00

petaj you can really pick em. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 09:52:00

excellent - galwaywegian, 2008-03-10: 11:03:00

Great creation! - Jamagra, 2008-03-10: 13:12:00

kashman you should feel floating yourself after picking this great one :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:13:00

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:56:00

Yep, you picked a winner! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-10: 18:30:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-19: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James