Vote for the best verboticism.

'My nose hairs are scary!'

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.

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Verboticisms

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Tual

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: TYOO eul

Sentence: Many months after her boyfriend had run out on her, Sally realized that she had to clean out the basement of Dick’s tools. As she piled them by the garbage she suddenly started to see another picture. These tools might have other uses. It began with duct tape. She discovered that everything in her kitchen could be fixed, held together, or constructed with the help of duct tape. Soon she was cutting garlic with a utility knife; marinating meat in a paint tray; using crescent wrenches or hammers to tenderize meat; and a drill with a twirly contraption on the end as a mixer. All of these tools had dual functions. This huge tual box had proven its worthiness and found a place in her new kitchen-workshop.

Etymology: TOOL: DUAL:

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like the perfect word for Alton Brown (from the show 'Good Eats' - not sure if you've seen it, but he's always using items from the hardware store in the kitchen). - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:09:00

Smile-icious! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 11:13:00

super - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-09: 13:54:00

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Overskilsaw

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: oh-ver-skil-saw

Sentence: Susan is not one to shy away from a challenge. Her father always told her, "if something doesn't work don't force it, get a bigger hammer". With that in mind Susan goes after her "need-to-be-trimmed" nails with her overskilsaw.

Etymology: overkill (an excess of what is required or suitable, as because of zeal or misjudgment) + Skilsaw (popular brand of circular saw)

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Mchammer

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: mik - ham - mer

Sentence: Donald decided to mchammer his dog house together with his mchammer. It was a new tool that he created using a baseball bat, a visegrip and a socket wrench....Instead of hitting the nail on the head, he destroyed the entire dog house with his "hammer time"... Oh well, Donald thought as he put down the bat...."can't touch this" as a hammer again....must take up baseball.

Etymology: hammer, McDonalds, M C Hammer....

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COMMENTS:

Really hammered this one! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 14:13:00

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp lem ent

Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.

Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)

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Limplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lim ple ment

Sentence: Eileen was attemting to use her recycled saw to trim her nose hairs. Unfortunately, it slipped and severed her leg, making it a limplement. She now spells her name I-Lean...

Etymology: Limb (arm or leg or tree branch) & Implement (tool, device, instrument)

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COMMENTS:

Are you sure her name wasn't Noeleen? - galwaywegian, 2013-07-04: 07:29:00

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Disasterisk

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK

Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.

Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00

metrohumanx http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00

metrohumanx As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00

I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00

Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00

Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00

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Heterotoolio

Created by: Wampeter

Pronunciation: He-ter-o-tool-io

Sentence: "I cannot find the corkscrew. Watch out for thís screw instead, its my Heterotoolio!"

Etymology: Hetero: lat. different io: onomatopoesia

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Bioactinomaniac

RightOnTheWin

Created by: RightOnTheWin

Pronunciation: {Bi-o\act-in-no\maine-knee-ack}

Sentence: He knew his obsession would overwhelm him as he encountered the octopus; he immediately allowed his bioactinomaniac habits to control him, and began cutting up the octopus with his finger nails.

Etymology: bio:living organisms. actino: having rays, radiating spines, or tentacles. maniac:one with an obession.

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Flybomb

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: FLY bom

Sentence: He could not get the school kids to stay off his lawn, so he pulled a flybomb and mowed his yard every morning at 8am, throwing grass clippings at them.

Etymology: From setting off a bomb to kill a fly, destroying the whole room in the process.

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Mixmasterplumber

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: mix/mas/tur/plum/ur

Sentence: "Honey - this mixmasterplumber is working like a dream with the plug in the toilet and I'll be done in time for you to finish making the birthday cake."

Etymology: Mixmaster + master plumber

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COMMENTS:

Yikes! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-09: 18:34:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-09: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

metrohumanx metrohumanx - 2009-03-09: 02:27:00
Thank YOU, James Gang...for the excellent illustrations! ARS LONGA VITA BREVIS! MetrohumanX

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-09: 11:02:00
And thank you metrohumanx, for supplying so many wonderfully prickly ideas! ~ James

yellowbird - 2009-03-09: 20:52:00
Just the cartoon made me smile. No need to read the words today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-20: 00:53:00
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James