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'I don't let my laptop date!'

DEFINITION: v. A software update or patch which uses up a ton of memory and hard drive space, stalling the computer with a crippling case of performance anxiety. n. To stall out a computer by installing a software "upgrade".

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Verboticisms

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Bytehog

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bite hog

Sentence: Pcsity proffered many "free" softwear updates to make the computing experience faster and easier. Jake installed one such update, or bytehog, in an effort to recover information on an online application page after the page expired. Jake’s lapshlop ran for four days completing the installation, only to discover another bytehog was needed to finish it. His lapshlop was hog-bitten! And Jake thought the online application form would be easier! That bytehog!

Etymology: From byte (a unit of memory on a computer) and hog - a being that hoards or monopolizes, in this case, one's computer memory/computer bytes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 21:54:00

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Upgrate

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: uhpgreyt

Sentence: When the start-up chime on your computer sounds more like fingernails on a chalkboard, it might be an indication that the the latest upgrate isn't operating in quite the way it was expected to.

Etymology: upgrade (to incorporate new or more accurate information) + grate (to scrape or rub with rough or noisy friction)

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Freezedrived

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: freez - drivd

Sentence: My booting has become freezedrived ever since I applied the latest microstall patch. I now have a slowseepeeyou, a lockedclock and my ram butts badly.

Etymology: Freeze + Drive(as in Hard Drive) also play on "freeze dried" >> Freeze (Stop moving or become immobilized) Drive (computer hardware that holds and spins a magnetic or optical disk and reads and writes information on it) Freeze Dried (The substance is frozen and then dried in a vacuum)

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COMMENTS:

Each verbotomy made me laugh more! Super Duper! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:51:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-23: 15:48:00

Stupendous! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 17:25:00

PCU around...good word! - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 21:45:00

Really good word. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-24: 07:58:00

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Busplug

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: Just the way it looks...

Sentence: Rondo fancied himself a computer expert. When he "helped" Lulu upgrade her purloined laptop by downloading the approved version of "service pack 5", he inadvertently created a BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" so popular in the last century. Rondo's motives were pure, and he offered to buy Lulu a donut and help her "work it out"....even if it took all night!

Etymology: BUS+PLUG=BUSPLUG(busplugged, busplugging).....BUS:In computer architecture, a bus is a subsystem that transfers data between computer components inside a computer or between computers......PLUG:a piece used to fill a hole, a stopper, an obtruding or obstructing mass of material resembling a stopper, any of various devices resembling or functioning like a plug, a male fitting for making an electrical connection to a live circuit by insertion in a receptacle.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Sorry about this one, gang. I just couldn'r resist it.... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:30:00

Hope he has some Viaoagra - Nosila, 2009-02-23: 00:46:00

metrohumanx While tecnically inaccurate, i just went with it because it was slopping over with subtlety and nuance... - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 01:01:00

Naughty but good, so will cut you some slaxative! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:20:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:09:00

BUSPLUG similar to the "blue screen of death" - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

WHY doesn't this site pick up the entire comment instead of just parts...???? Ugh - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:10:00

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Windowsupdate

DnBrown

Created by: DnBrown

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Desktopdysfunction

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: desk top dis funk shun

Sentence: You know the embarrassment, the guilt, the feelings of inadequacy, the viagravvation. Yes, we've all seen the commercials to go to your doctor. But where does your computer go when it suffers from desktopdysfunction? There's no self help groups, no printed literature. All it can do is surf the net and hope for an antidote to the new patch you've installed. The one which was supposed to increase memory and speed, but which instead creates internet impotence. Maybe somewhere there's a cure, but until there's a celebrity spokesperson or a telethon to raise funds and awareness, what's a lowly desktop to do? It's hard-breaking...

Etymology: Desktop ((computer science) the area of the screen in graphical user interfaces against which icons and windows appear) & Dysfunction ((medicine) any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part). Play on erectile dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection)

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Retrofret

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: reh-troh-freht

Sentence: To3m (the 3 was silent) had held onto his Commodore "Daisy" for so long that anytime he tried to update her, she pitched a retrofret.

Etymology: A play on RETROFIT, referring to an upgrade in technology + FRET, disturb or agitate

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Executabledysfunction

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ecks-uh-cute-abuhl-dis-FUNCT-shun

Sentence: Heinrich cursed his aging laptop when it experience severe executabledysfuntion when he tried to download and install a system update of utmost importance.

Etymology: Blend of executable and dysfunction, a play on the term 'erectile dysfunction'

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Hahahaahah...Heinrich! das ist GUT! - metrohumanx, 2009-02-23: 00:55:00

Killer creation! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 10:49:00

Hee! Hee! - TJayzz, 2009-02-23: 18:55:00

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Arthridical

Created by: letty

Pronunciation:

Sentence: You have an arthridical patient.

Etymology:

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Busstop

Created by: otherguy

Pronunciation: bəsstäp

Sentence: The latest "gotta-install-it-or-your-computer-will-blow-up" patch to the patch to the patch turned out to be a complete busstop on my computer. (I'm writing this on a friend's laptop)

Etymology: bus: a distinct set of conductors carrying data and control signals within a computer system, to which pieces of equipment may be connected in parallel + stop: come to an end; cease to happen

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COMMENTS:

artr Ooh, sounds personal! - artr, 2009-02-23: 07:24:00

did busplug inspire you? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-23: 11:26:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-23: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-06: 00:31:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James