Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: SLO-mad

Sentence: As Tom wandered from store to store waiting for his wife to finish her shopping he became just one more slowmad, looking over each item as if he really cared, fending off sales clerks with the slowmad's mantra "Just looking". He also knew that this activity was slowly driving him stark-raving mad. He could feel his sanity slipping away with each step he took. The last thing he wanted to become was a husbutt-parker — those old men who take up every inch of available bench space vacantly staring into space while a mound of packages accumulates at their feet.

Etymology: Slow (Very not fast) + nomad (a desert wanderer)

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COMMENTS:

RIGHT ON! Great sentence, artr. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:03:00

Slowmad reminds me of Strongbad. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:38:00

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Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: shop/er/one

Sentence: Eugene was so disappointed in himself. He should have known it was too good to be true. When Tiffany said, "Pick me up at 6:00 big boy, and we'll paint the town" he had no idea she just needed a ride to the mall, and a shoperone to carry her bags. You could almost see the neon sign blinking "Fool" on his forehead.

Etymology: derived from chaperone: One who accompanies and supervises

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COMMENTS:

I have seen the glare of that neon sign all too often- reflected in a shoppe window. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:51:00

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:06:00

very good. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:56:00

Love it! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:35:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Created by: astorey

Pronunciation: lye-a-round

Sentence: Tom didn't know why Mindy was so eager for his validation when she was buying clothes, but he had long since become accustomed to his role...he needed to liearound the dressing room, saying encouraging--though not completely honest-- things things like "No you're butt doesn't look fat" or "I don't think that black dress looks too much like your other black dress."

Etymology: lie in two senses--to not tell the truth and to lounge; around in the sense of either prevaricating or lounging in proximity to the shopping.

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: ˈkash trāt

Sentence: Leonard always felt cashtrated at the mall whilst his girlfriend Amanda took charge of his credit card and tossed him like a hangar in the dressing home

Etymology: cash ( currency, money) + castrate (to emasculate, deprive vigor)

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COMMENTS:

That's why they call money geld! - Nosila, 2012-11-02: 19:27:00

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Pow-t-fit

Sentence: After trying on several different dresses, fourteen pairs of shoes and tried a number of handbags to see if they matched, Sarah had still not managed to settle for any of them. Frank had been waiting for two hours and was having a serious poutfit, he had promised his mates he would meet them down the pub and wanted to get there before they gave up on him and headed home. He was thinking of faking some sort of fit so that they get out of the place once and for all.

Etymology: Pout(to push one's lips forward as an expression of petulant annoyance) + Outfit(a set of clothes worn together) + Fit(a sudden attack of convulsions) = Poutfit

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COMMENTS:

Poor Frank ! He just has to learn a little patience. two hours is just considered a warm-up. Hahahah - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 01:21:00

so many funny words today - isn't there a store called Urban Poutfitters - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:07:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: mawl-shlump

Sentence: While most men might get fidgety when their wives browse thru the stores, Marty takes great delight in an opportunity to just mallschlump, wherein he'll cruise around from business to business checking out babes, window displays and oddball people.

Etymology: blend of words 'mall' (n. large retail complex containing a variety of stores and often restaurants ) and 'schlump' (v. to loaf or idle)

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Created by: kachungis

Pronunciation: ba-bee-boo

Sentence: im so babiboo!!

Etymology:

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gye browz

Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.

Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)

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COMMENTS:

You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00

How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bih-truhj

Sentence: When Jill wants to go shopping she likes to take Tom with her. She'll bounce from store to store like a lioness on a hunt. He'll betrudge along behind her like a trailer with flat tires. They've been together long enough that he knows when to nod and when to grunt something like "That look great on you".

Etymology: begrudge (to be reluctant to give, grant, or allow) + trudge (to walk, especially laboriously or wearily)

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