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'I guess I'll do a little window shopping...'

DEFINITION: v. What boyfriends and husbands do while they are waiting their girlfriends and/or wives to shop. n. A person doing such a thing.

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Verboticisms

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Poutfit

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Pow-t-fit

Sentence: After trying on several different dresses, fourteen pairs of shoes and tried a number of handbags to see if they matched, Sarah had still not managed to settle for any of them. Frank had been waiting for two hours and was having a serious poutfit, he had promised his mates he would meet them down the pub and wanted to get there before they gave up on him and headed home. He was thinking of faking some sort of fit so that they get out of the place once and for all.

Etymology: Pout(to push one's lips forward as an expression of petulant annoyance) + Outfit(a set of clothes worn together) + Fit(a sudden attack of convulsions) = Poutfit

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Poor Frank ! He just has to learn a little patience. two hours is just considered a warm-up. Hahahah - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 01:21:00

so many funny words today - isn't there a store called Urban Poutfitters - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:07:00

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Shoperfunctorate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate

Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.

Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.

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COMMENTS:

I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00

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Gapetient

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Mallschlump

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: mawl-shlump

Sentence: While most men might get fidgety when their wives browse thru the stores, Marty takes great delight in an opportunity to just mallschlump, wherein he'll cruise around from business to business checking out babes, window displays and oddball people.

Etymology: blend of words 'mall' (n. large retail complex containing a variety of stores and often restaurants ) and 'schlump' (v. to loaf or idle)

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Liearound

Created by: astorey

Pronunciation: lye-a-round

Sentence: Tom didn't know why Mindy was so eager for his validation when she was buying clothes, but he had long since become accustomed to his role...he needed to liearound the dressing room, saying encouraging--though not completely honest-- things things like "No you're butt doesn't look fat" or "I don't think that black dress looks too much like your other black dress."

Etymology: lie in two senses--to not tell the truth and to lounge; around in the sense of either prevaricating or lounging in proximity to the shopping.

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Boutiquegate

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /buˈtikˌge(ɪ)t/

Sentence: We who are stuck boutiquegating our significant others are very thankful to those few store designers who thought to provide comfortable seating just outside the dressing rooms.

Etymology: from boutique + tailgate

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Malloiter

Created by: apathy42

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Shoperone

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: shop/er/one

Sentence: Eugene was so disappointed in himself. He should have known it was too good to be true. When Tiffany said, "Pick me up at 6:00 big boy, and we'll paint the town" he had no idea she just needed a ride to the mall, and a shoperone to carry her bags. You could almost see the neon sign blinking "Fool" on his forehead.

Etymology: derived from chaperone: One who accompanies and supervises

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I have seen the glare of that neon sign all too often- reflected in a shoppe window. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:51:00

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:06:00

very good. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:56:00

Love it! - Nosila, 2008-08-28: 01:35:00

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Vapidrift

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: VAY-pih-DRIFT

Sentence: Lawrence could not bring himself to follow his wife into the Aromabody Boutique, even to dampen her urge to spend,spend, spend. Instead , he chose voluntary exile to the mallhall, where he would VAPIDRIFT with the herd of patient husbandry, a hundred-meter stare in his glazed eyes. Teen girls, ancient immigrants and momshoppers piloting triple tandem strollers jockeyed around him as he waited for the prized seat on a hard plastic bench. Time stretched to infinity as other VAPIDRIFTERS milled around in their assigned areas - no more than ten steps from the entrance, but not too close to the semi-erotic manneqins in the windows of BarnDress Woman discount plus-size fashion emporium. There would be no mercy for the man who wandered away. Lawrence checked his watch for the umpteenth time, resigned to his fate as a docile consumer support unit.

Etymology: VAPId+DRIFT=VAPIDRIFT.....Vapid: lacking liveliness, tang, briskness, or force- Latin vapidus flat-tasting; akin to Latin vappa flat wine and perhaps to Latin vapor steam......DRIFT:something driven, propelled, or urged along or drawn together in a clump by or as if by a natural agency- Middle English; akin to Old English drīfan to drive.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx We regret the passing of Laurence Urdang. 1927-2008 - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:49:00

how tragic - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:03:00

Another great word and real-life story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:59:00

metrohumanx Some day, lad...all this will be yours. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:37:00

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Spousearrest

Created by: marglark

Pronunciation: spowse + arreste

Sentence: he was sentenced to spouse arrest after his wife left. He couldn't go too far anywhere and there wasn't much he could do.

Etymology: spouse + house arrest

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-26: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie! ~ James

metrohumanx metrohumanx - 2008-08-27: 00:50:00
Can't you be arrested for MASTERWAITING in public?

galwaywegian - 2008-08-27: 05:56:00
Or masterbaiting at college

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-08: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James