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'We have securitized the lavatory entrance systems'

DEFINITION: v. To demonstrate your superior knowledge and intellect by using complex, confusing and mind-numbingly stupid jargon. n. A person who uses big words to inflate their unusually small ideas.

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Verboticisms

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Jargontificate

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /jahr-gon-TIF-i-keyt/

Sentence: All of Ken's employees and co-workers wondered how he had gotten his job, as an Information Technology Manager, since he was practically computer-illiterate and he could barely turn a computer on without help. He was a charismatic talker though, so even though he went around using inappropriate techno-terms and unrelated buzzwords, and he would jargontificate endlessly, he only sounded convincing to other computer-illiterate people. Then he mentioned his background as a Car Salesman, and it all started to make sense.

Etymology: Jargon - language characterized pretentious vocabulary and convoluted syntax, often vague in meaning (from Old French, gargon "a chattering" [of birds]) + Pontificate - to speak in a pompous or dogmatic manner (from Latin, pontifex "bridge-maker")

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COMMENTS:

Great last line in your sentence! Well selected etymology. Good word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 10:55:00

So many good submissions today picking was tough. But this one's a peach, so I picked it. - stache, 2008-03-06: 15:13:00

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Blowphisticrat

Created by: twocent

Pronunciation: blow-fist-e&-krat

Sentence: Whenever he spoke with authority he came across with all the polish of a D.M.V. blowphisticrat.

Etymology: n. Compound of sophisticated: overly complicated, blow-hard: braggart and bureaucrat: a rigid official lacking intelligent judgment v. blowphisticate

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COMMENTS:

Very nice - OZZIEBOB, 2009-01-01: 00:04:00

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Bossify

Created by: Eanrael

Pronunciation: Boss i fie

Sentence: HR knew that the new commission plan would cut the worker's income by at least 1/3 if not 1/2; they would have to *bossify* the presentation. Note: With the connotation that a "boss" would be happy with either result a) people ignore the plan because the wording is too complicated or b)they believe the plan to be benificial.

Etymology: Boss - n. - slang - Good, Excellent, Cool Boss - n. - a person who is in charge of an employee or organization — ORIGIN Dutch baas ‘master’.

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Gobblededash

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: GOB-uhl-dee-dash

Sentence: Jean had a little in the way of technical knowledge regarding electronic, photographic and surveillance systems but she had a huge vocabulary and when called on to discuss those topics could be counted on to ramble on with enthusiastic gobblededash not realizing that most folks knew she was blathering.

Etymology: Blend of 'gobbledygook' (language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand)and 'balderdash' (nonsense)

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Idiochat

Created by: hiladizzle

Pronunciation: id-ee-uh-chat

Sentence: She likes to make herself sound smart by using idiochat.

Etymology: Idiot (an utterly foolish or senseless person) + Chat (to talk or converse)

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Bigblurtzah

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: big - blurtz - ah

Sentence: Whether it be the professor, the politician, the military drill instructor, the businessman, or anyone, those who think they can confuse and impress with big words are just bigblurtzahs!

Etymology: Big: huge Blurtz: spewing big words without giving any thought to what is uttered. Zah: my own creation for a synonym for Ugh! A play on the expression Big Bertha!

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COMMENTS:

how true - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-06: 13:11:00

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Lingostar

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lin go star

Sentence: Paula McCartney was very possessive about the John, By George. She was a self-proclaimed bathroom monitor and rules writer, legislator and enforcer. She was the Loo-tenant, the Canservationist and the Privy Counselor. When new signs were needed, she was the lingostar and create baffling and confusing edicts that no one understood. Being Bladder Controller meant she could invent the rules and execute them. Everyone in the office felt that she belonged "Back in the USSR"..."Eight Days a Week". When they boycotted the toilets, she asked them if they needed to go...they answered, "No Reply" or "I Feel Fine". Her boss finally intervened and told her, "Let it Be", even though people told him, "You're going to lose that girl". She quit and became a "Paperback Writer" and followed "The Long and Winding Road" to lingostardom.

Etymology: Lingo ( a characteristic language of a particular group) & Star (a performer who receives prominent billing) & Wordplay on Ringo Starr (the 4th Beatle...With a little help from my friends)

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COMMENTS:

Luckily, Pete Best quit after the Hamburg tour (when they sang as a back-up band for Tony Sheridan). If Ringo didn't take Pete's spot at the drum set, this word would have never been born. Cool word, N! :-) - XMbIPb, 2010-05-17: 01:34:00

was he related to John Rennon? - galwaywegian, 2010-05-17: 10:46:00

I like the comment of Paul, when asked if Ringo was the best drummer in the world, he said Ringo wasn't even the best drummer in the Beatles! - Nosila, 2010-05-17: 17:14:00

LOL... - XMbIPb, 2010-05-17: 20:05:00

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Normcrosbeing

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: norm croz bee ing

Sentence: Norma Crosby was the quintessential Normcrosbeing in our office. She thought by using big words (that she had seen in print, but apparently failed to check the definitions of), people would think she was far more educated than the Grade 10 level she had actually achieved, barely. When she had transferred into our HR Office, she felt it obliged her to speak far above the intellect of our internal clients, even if it meant inventing her own words. The clients were often left shaken and confused when she spoke in large words that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. As a result, people avoided her like the plague and chose not to believe any facts that she presented. Her personal crusade was that unless words were at least eight or ten letters long, why bother to use them?? It would be redumbdant and wasterly and youtilize no hexpediant deliverables.

Etymology: Norm Crosby - (Comedian, considered the Master of the Malaprop, who uses the wrong words, usually big ones to make confusing, funny comments.(i.e he speaks from his diagram and drinks decapitated coffee) & Being (a creature, a living person)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I swear we must have worked in the same place in a prior lifetime. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-31: 00:55:00

You are probably right...in "The Office"! And now you know why it is a hit! - Nosila, 2008-12-31: 23:11:00

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Lexiconflated

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: lex - e - con - flated

Sentence: If Myron lexiconflated his phraseology when he attended board meetings by projecting the intersection of gross margin conceptions with total net calculated sales, his wordabsurd permutations of numbers often left those in attendance scratching their heads but unable to comment for fear of appearing unable to comprehend simple concepts.

Etymology: Lexicon (vocabulary: a language user's knowledge of words) + inflated (enlarged beyond truth or reasonableness)

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Uberloquitor

Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /ü-bər-lo-kwi-tor/

Sentence: I can’t even tell you what George and I drank over the weekend. Nor how much of it we drank. Neither remembers. All I can say is that Master George – and there’s no other way I can call him from now on – is a bloody genius! Despite a massive hangover and absolute lack of preparation, he managed to UBERLOQUITATE the entire board meeting into extending our contract for two (count’em – t-w-o) more years! I mean I was sitting there with my head feeling like a cracked egg shell, while Master George managed to pull a presentation full of “gestalt,” “zeitgeist,” “sine qua non,” “parallax,” and at least a dozen words all of which had at least one vowel with an umlaut. I love that guy!

Etymology: uberloquitor (n.), uberloquacious (adj.), uberloquitate (v.) ----- UBER- (fr. Germ.): over, beyond. [Recently replaced other such superlative prefixes as “super-“ and “ultra-“ (see: “ubergeek,” “uberhack,” “ubercool”)] LOQUI – (fr. Latin) to speak.

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COMMENTS:

Ausgezeichnet story... - Nosila, 2010-05-18: 00:41:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-06: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-06: 21:11:00
Love the 'toon today James. I think my boss is considering installing one on our bathroom doors, complete with an age-appropriate timer, which leaves me wondering when I'm gonna get a chance to pluck my eyebrows.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-07: 06:05:00
Thanks Purple, Is there a personal purpose code for plucking your eyebrows? ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-17: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James