Verboticism: Metadivorcesis

'I need to feel sexy again! Give me Britney's abs!'

DEFINITION: v. intr., To compensate for emotional rejection by trying to change one's appearance through aggressive dieting, exercise and/or plastic surgery -- common among aging divorcees.

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Nipsuck

Created by: astorey

Pronunciation: nip-suk

Sentence: In a shameless effort to regain her mojo and show her ex(es) what they were missing, Vanessa went for the full nipsuck...from the "can't-stop-smiling facelift" to the drastic stomach stapling that kept her from eating anything on the many dinner dates she finagled through the ironically named www.divorcedandlovingit.com.

Etymology: Variation of nip and tuck.

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COMMENTS:

Four words! Hil Ar I Ous! - lumina, 2008-08-20: 15:20:00

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Mendorphins

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: men dohrr finns

Sentence: She started to feel good about herself after the first 10k, the mendorphins kicked in as she saw the guys in the mirror checking out her tush

Etymology: endorphins, mend, men

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Vexyoursize

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks yor syes

Sentence: When Vicki left Victor, he knew he had to vexyoursize and change his appearance in order to win her back or attract someone new. He tried diets, exercise and really could not afford surgery. Depressed he went into a bar to drown his sorrows. Feeling a little tipsy and slurring his words a bit, he stumbled home in the dark. He passed a church and decided to pray to the angels for a new look. He awoke the next day in the church and was stunned to see his reflection in a mirror. He looked worse! How could this be? At that point an old Irish Priest appeared at his side and said, "My son, you must be careful what you ask for when praying to the angels! Your speech was so slurred that they misunderstood you. You asked for a rose, instead of a new nose, so they gave you a big red one. You asked for a gin, instead of a new chin, so they gave you a double. You asked for bigger ears, they thought you said big arrears, so now you're broke. You asked for new hair, they thought you said a good scare, so now you have been neutered. You asked for new legs, they thought you said new pegs, so you can hobble home on two wooden ones. You asked for slimmer thighs, they thought you said dimmer eyes, so now you'll need strong glasses. You asked for a firm jaw, they thought you said a claw, so now you'll look talon-ted!"

Etymology: Vex (change the arrangement or position of;disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress) & Ex (former partner) & Your Size (body image, appearance) & exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Bourneagain

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: born/again

Sentence: He decided that the only solution to his lethargy was to sign up to the bourneagain program which guaranteed a body like Jason Bourne

Etymology: born again + Bourne

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Abpolish

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ab/poll/ish

Sentence: The only way to abpolish her demons and win back her self esteem was to throw herself wholeheartedly into sculpting a new physique.

Etymology: ab (as in abdominal) + polish + abolish

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COMMENTS:

Anuddergudun'! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-20: 10:02:00

I must abpologize - I found this one tough so I had to milk it for all it was worth - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:35:00

Abpolish doesn't have the snarky pejorative connotations. Yours is best! - skeeterzirra, 2007-09-20: 14:23:00

Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:46:00

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Anovorcic

Created by: cpjax

Pronunciation: AnO- vor-CiC

Sentence: after he divorced he went on an anovorcic diet

Etymology: anorexic plus divorce

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Renaisensuate

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Ree-nay-sen-shul-ate. Noun form: Renaisexual (a la Metrosexual, etc.)

Sentence: A glance in the mirror told Bob that he was hunkjunk: broad, bewigged and fifty, and greatly in need of a strict diet and a strenuous fitness regime to renaisensuate himself. Aucupation had been his pre-occupation, but now he had more feathered friends than fair ones. Perhaps, wondered Bob, would plastic surgery mould him into the renaisexual he longed to be?

Etymology: Blend of Renaissance: renewal, rebirth & sensual: pertaining to the body and physical senses & ate: suffix indicating action of person performing function. Aucupate:bird catching.

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COMMENTS:

I think Bob should use some common renaissense and opt for the good diet - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 11:24:00

Yikes!! sorry Ozziebob - I just realized you might be referring to yourself - hope I didn't insult you - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 13:56:00

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Metamorfailosis

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: metəmôrfāləsəs

Sentence: After his wife left, Bruce went on a gym spree. Fellow patrons knew him as big guy in the wet sweats. He expected a huge change. He experienced metamorfailosis. Caterpillar in. Caterpillar out.

Etymology: metamorphosis (a change of the form or nature of a thing or person into a completely different one) + Fail (be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal)

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Victualizashun

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: vic/tu/al/i/zay/shun

Sentence: Harvey hoped that by aggressively embracing victualizashun he would once again possess the toned body he had been so proud of.

Etymology: victuals + shun + actualization

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COMMENTS:

Always wanted to use "victual" in one of my verbotomies. brings back memories of the 1960s and the "Beverley Hillbillies. " Nice word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-22: 05:03:00

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Remoddeh

Created by: LadyFox

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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