Verboticism: Convictimization
DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.
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Convictimization
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Convictimization
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kon vik tim ize ashun
Sentence: It was pre-ordained. His name was Rob and by gosh, that is what he did for a living. He also wrote very bad checks. When he was caught and sentenced to 25 years in the pokey, he thought he had fallen prey to convictimization. He was incarcerated at Sing Sing, where contrary to the name, they did not sing, often or well. Warden Gordon Borden thought it would be ironic if Rob wrote the new Prison Newsletter, since he was so good at writing (bad checks). Rob called this literary marvel, "Sentences" and worked hard at it to make it informative and entertaining. He carried regular features, such as a column on advice to the lovelorn..."In-Mates" with such pertinent features as "Are you suffering from Penal Dysfunction?";The Daily Horrorscope ("Your life has settled into predictable routine but just wait, the new screw in Cell Block 4 has his eye on you. Prepare for excitement."); a singles column "Cell-ABC" and recipes from the prison kitchen, "The Garden of Pleadin'" ...for Chili CON carney...take 500 pounds of ground meat, throw in 18 cups of saltpeter,...etc. He also added news items that affected his readership: "Care and feeding of your pet Cockroach"; and he used the digital camera to get candid snaps of daily life column, "I've been framed". Rob became a publishing ty-con and made the most of his pun-nishment!
Etymology: Convict (a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison; a person who has been convicted of a criminal offence; find or declare guilty) & Victimization (adversity resulting from being made a victim; an act that exploits or victimizes someone (treats them unfairly))
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COMMENTS:
written with conviction!! - galwaywegian, 2009-03-06: 05:56:00
Top Notch Job creating this 'con' job and 'con' verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:15:00
So funny!!! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:30:00
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Funishment
Created by: Ratty
Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment
Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.
Etymology: fun, punishment
Dracomicarceration
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: dra-COMIC-are-sur-AY-shun (DRACOMICARCERATE)
Sentence: Judge Mentill-Case was not elected. He was a political apointee who wielded his gavel with wild abandon. Ever since his pet pug was flattened by a Lexus, he delighted in enforcing the hamlet's no-cell-phone driving ordinance. His punishment for a first offender was removal of all glass on the vehicle. Second offense entailed driving with snow chains on all four tires for a year. Third offense was DRACOMICARCERATION-confinement to a Volkswagon Beetle with the doors welded shut. The Judge's career ended when he crashed into a Starbuck's while texting.
Etymology: DRAconic+COMIc+inCARCERATION= DRACOMICARCRATION.....DRACONIC:of, relating to, or characteristic of Draco or the severe code of laws held to have been framed by him; Latin Dracon-, Draco, from Greek Drakōn Draco (Athenian lawgiver).....COMIC: causing laughter or amusement, funny, of, relating to, or marked by comedy; Latin comicus, from Greek kōmikos, from kōmos revel(1576).....INCARCERATE: to subject to confinement, to put in prison, to punish; Latin incarceratus, past participle of incarcerare, from in- + carcer prison Date: 1560,
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COMMENTS:
Here come da Judge...cute story. It took a latte to get rid of that judge! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:42:00
Great triple word play! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:49:00
Thanks, kids! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 20:46:00
THE BEARS' "CAR CAUGHT FIRE" WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE CINCINNATI ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS.
On November 26, 2001, just 4 years after being inducted into CEA's Hall of Fame, the Bears won Album Of The Year for Car Caught Fire. Rob Fetters and Bob Nyswonger accepted the award shortly after Rob's solo performance of the Bears' "As You Are". - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:39:00
www.thebearsmusic.com - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:40:00
LIVE IT or LIVE WITH IT! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 23:55:00
She was sick and tired of country life.
A little country home,
A little country folk,
Made her blood run cold.
Now her mother pines her heart away,
Looking for her child in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
Frailest, purest girl the world has seen,
According to her Ma, according to her Pa,
And everybody said,
That she knew no sin and did no wrong,
Till she walked the streets of the big black smoke,
Of the big black smoke.
Well, she slept in caffs and coffee bars and bowling alleys,
And every penny she had
Was spent on purple hearts and cigarettes.
She took all her pretty coloured clothes,
And ran away from home
And the boy next door,
For a boy named Joe.
And he took her money for the rent
And tried to drag her down in the big black smoke,
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke.
In the big black smoke. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:39:00
Sorry about that. I got carried away. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:41:00
I'd like to thank the JAMES GANG for providing a very entertaining outlet for the mad ramblings of very talented people.. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:48:00
Hear, Hear, metro! It's great to tell people you are in a gang! Respect! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:26:00
The creams rises to the TOP :) You're so creative Metrohumanx! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:05:00
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Castivacation
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: cast/i/va/ca/tion
Sentence: While driving totally blind drunk, Joe hit and killed a senior citizen when he ran a red light. The judge's sentence was, to say the least, a castivacation: four consecutive weekends under house arrest in his own home.
Etymology: CASTIVACATION - noun - from CASTIGATION (to punish in order to correct) + VACATION (a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess, or holiday)
Unfitrable
Created by: ede1994
Pronunciation: Un-Fi-Tra-ble
Sentence: This Word is Unfitrable to this sentence!
Etymology: It is a strange rarely used word.
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COMMENTS:
Nice melding of unfit and trouble, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:27:00
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Punishmint
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: pənishmint
Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.
Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)
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COMMENTS:
OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00
Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00
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Funishment
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: fənishmənt
Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.
Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)
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COMMENTS:
was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00
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Punytivedamages
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es
Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.
Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages
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COMMENTS:
It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00
Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00
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Indecentencing
Created by: Negatrev
Pronunciation: in-dee-sen-ten-sing
Sentence: Graham was ecstatic. Due to the judge's indecentencing, he was practically getting away with murder.
Etymology: from indecent ( improper - not suitable or right or appropriate; "slightly improper to dine alone with a married man"; "improper medication"; "improper attire for the golf course") AND sentencing (The act of pronouncing a judicial sentence on a defendant)
