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'Why are you vacuuming the Christmas tree?'

DEFINITION: n., 1. A pine needle infestation, common during and after the holiday season. 2. Prickly Christmas guests who will not leave and cannot be cleaned up. v., To fall down during a holiday party and hide under a rug.

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Verboticisms

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Carpetjaggers

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: car-pet-jag-gers

Sentence: Carpetjaggers are resistant to vacuums, and may still be found in your carpet for several months after the tree has been removed, so caution is advised when running in bare feet; however, after several months, they break down and become part of the room's floora.

Etymology: wordplay on carpetbaggers: someone who moves into an area to take it over -- carpet: floor covering + jaggers: sharp or pointy projections

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Nevergreenuisance

Created by: Redrover

Pronunciation: never+gree+nuisance

Sentence: This was absolutely the last Christmas that Nancy and Jason were going to spend the entire month of December cleaning up after either their nevergreenuisance tree or Jason's bratty nephews.

Etymology: nevergreen = trees that are in the midst of their death throes while still on the tree lot. Nuisance = obnoxious relatives

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Yulebesorry

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: yool bee sor ee

Sentence: The yulebesorry is one of the greater household pets, but at least it is only spotted during Late December and early January, unlike its' cousin the toldyaso

Etymology: yule, you'll be sorry

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COMMENTS:

berryberrysorry - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:39:00

tonii Very good! - tonii, 2007-12-17: 22:51:00

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Needelinquents

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nēdiˈli ng kwənts

Sentence: Joyce didn*t realize when she invited a young tree into her home for the holidays that she was also inviting in needelinquents. These little hooligans had no respect for their elders and made every effort to separate themselves from the bough. They would lodge themselves in the fiber of the carpet and stab passersby with their tiny daggers at every opportunity. Even Hoover, the meanest thug Joyce knew had trouble dislodging these troublemakers. Just when she thought they were gone, she*d find more.

Etymology: needle (the adult leaves of a conifer) + delinquent (typically of a young person or that person*s behavior showing or characterized by a tendency to commit crime, particularly minor crime)

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Treeslug

Created by: mezebra

Pronunciation:

Sentence: We hate the morning after, the treeslugs are so prevalent. Bob hasn't been invited to our party in years, he is such a treeslug

Etymology:

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Carpettunnelsyndrome

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: car-pet-ton-nul-sin-drum

Sentence: Every December, my living room rug gets carpettunnelsyndrome from the tree needles. The rug rasps eventually get vacuumed up or compost by June.

Etymology: carpal tunnel syndrome, carpet, tunnel

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COMMENTS:

Superb! - Mustang, 2007-12-17: 06:09:00

ouch - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:37:00

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Pestaclaus

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PEST-tuh-klawz

Sentence: When Bob hadn't left Christmas celebrations at the home of Roxie's parents by New Year's day, her family decided that it was time to look for ways to kinstirpate this perdurable pestaclaus.

Etymology: PESTACLAUS: blend of pest & Santa Claus. KINSTIRPATE: (kin & extirpate)-not my word: source??

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:36:00

I'm a fan of Kinstirpate, but maybe it should be (kin + constipate), i.e. like when you can get the kin-folk to leave, your house is kinstirpated. - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:34:00

Ah, I meant "like when you _can't_ get the kin-folk to leave..." - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:36:00

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Drunkiferous

Created by: mrowka

Pronunciation: Drunk-If-Erus

Sentence: After guzzling down his holiday spirit, Douglas became drunkiferous. Later on we were able to skyline him into a cab.

Etymology: Drunk (intoxicated)+ Coniferous (type or tree)

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Firensics

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fir en siks

Sentence: It was time to call in Lt. Horatio "Eye Candy" Cane. You know...he of the red hair, straight face and cool sunglasses. His team would soon figure out where the infestation of green needles was coming from. Christmas was 6 months ago, so where was the source? Pulling off his cool shades and standing with hands on hip, the lieutenant said that the trail of firensics evidence lead to a bag in the garage, covered in dead boughs and green plastic. The ghost of Christmas Tree past.

Etymology: Fir (coniferous tree, often used a Christmas tree) & Forensics (relating to the use of scientific methods to solve crimes and to find out who committed them...the evidence the gathers to prove criminal activity)

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Pinedemic

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /piyn-dem-ik/

Sentence: Since the relatives began arriving more than three weeks before the holidays this year, the tree had to be up early. Now the living room is the source of a widespread pinedemic outbreak, which has spread to every other room in the house, further complicated the inguestation of Christmas visitors, tracking needles everywhere. And we can't even vacuum, because Uncle Frank is still down there under the tree, wrapped in his carpet of rugretfulness — and pine needles.

Etymology: pine - traditional Christmas evergreen (Latin, pīnus) + pandemic - a widespread outbreak (from Greek, pándémos "common" - typical of a disease)

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COMMENTS:

good one - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:35:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2007-12-17: 15:15:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-17: 01:45:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram Thank you remistram ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-21: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

dimatehtunov - 2018-12-21: 21:54:00
good ivning .