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'I thought you'd want a head on a platter'

DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.

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Inmaterial

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: in - mate - tear - e - all

Sentence: After Barney jaywalked near the general store, Andy meted out a sentence that was inmaterial to the crime. He threw Barney in the slammer for three days....Barney got to see what it was like being an inmate, except that Aunt Bea brought him supper every evening.

Etymology: Inmate + Imaterial >> Inmate (convict: a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison) Imaterial (extraneous: not pertinent to the matter under consideration)

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COMMENTS:

love the Mayberry reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:39:00

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Penrong

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pen rong

Sentence: When the judge gave the sentence of 30 days in a luxury penthouse jail to the CEO of the biggest con job of the century, the defence lawyer filed an appeal called a penrong. Afterall, it was a victimless crime, no blood was spilled and such a sentence was cruel and unusual punishment for a mere bookkeeping error. Forcibly placing his client in such a primitive environment constituted a penal implant, which undermined his client's basic human rights and dignity.

Etymology: Pen (short for penitentiary or jail) & Enron (Billion dollar fraud scandal)& Wrong (incorrect)

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Punishmint

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pənishmint

Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.

Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)

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COMMENTS:

OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00

Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00

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Incompatapunation

Created by: tvguard

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Dracomicarceration

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dra-COMIC-are-sur-AY-shun (DRACOMICARCERATE)

Sentence: Judge Mentill-Case was not elected. He was a political apointee who wielded his gavel with wild abandon. Ever since his pet pug was flattened by a Lexus, he delighted in enforcing the hamlet's no-cell-phone driving ordinance. His punishment for a first offender was removal of all glass on the vehicle. Second offense entailed driving with snow chains on all four tires for a year. Third offense was DRACOMICARCERATION-confinement to a Volkswagon Beetle with the doors welded shut. The Judge's career ended when he crashed into a Starbuck's while texting.

Etymology: DRAconic+COMIc+inCARCERATION= DRACOMICARCRATION.....DRACONIC:of, relating to, or characteristic of Draco or the severe code of laws held to have been framed by him; Latin Dracon-, Draco, from Greek Drakōn Draco (Athenian lawgiver).....COMIC: causing laughter or amusement, funny, of, relating to, or marked by comedy; Latin comicus, from Greek kōmikos, from kōmos revel(1576).....INCARCERATE: to subject to confinement, to put in prison, to punish; Latin incarceratus, past participle of incarcerare, from in- + carcer prison Date: 1560,

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COMMENTS:

Here come da Judge...cute story. It took a latte to get rid of that judge! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:42:00

Great triple word play! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:49:00

metrohumanx Thanks, kids! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 20:46:00

metrohumanx THE BEARS' "CAR CAUGHT FIRE" WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE CINCINNATI ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS. On November 26, 2001, just 4 years after being inducted into CEA's Hall of Fame, the Bears won Album Of The Year for Car Caught Fire. Rob Fetters and Bob Nyswonger accepted the award shortly after Rob's solo performance of the Bears' "As You Are". - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:39:00

metrohumanx www.thebearsmusic.com - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:40:00

metrohumanx LIVE IT or LIVE WITH IT! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 23:55:00

metrohumanx She was sick and tired of country life. A little country home, A little country folk, Made her blood run cold. Now her mother pines her heart away, Looking for her child in the big black smoke, In the big black smoke. Frailest, purest girl the world has seen, According to her Ma, according to her Pa, And everybody said, That she knew no sin and did no wrong, Till she walked the streets of the big black smoke, Of the big black smoke. Well, she slept in caffs and coffee bars and bowling alleys, And every penny she had Was spent on purple hearts and cigarettes. She took all her pretty coloured clothes, And ran away from home And the boy next door, For a boy named Joe. And he took her money for the rent And tried to drag her down in the big black smoke, In the big black smoke. In the big black smoke. In the big black smoke. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:39:00

metrohumanx Sorry about that. I got carried away. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:41:00

metrohumanx I'd like to thank the JAMES GANG for providing a very entertaining outlet for the mad ramblings of very talented people.. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:48:00

Hear, Hear, metro! It's great to tell people you are in a gang! Respect! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:26:00

The creams rises to the TOP :) You're so creative Metrohumanx! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:05:00

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Ninjustice

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nin-juhs-tis

Sentence: Despite the very public nature of his crimes the executive was given a punishment that seemed almost nonexistent. The stealth nature of the judgment caused many to declare it ninjustice. Some, thinking he must have been intoxicated, accused the judge of ginjustice.

Etymology: ninja (a member of a feudal Japanese society of mercenary agents, highly trained in martial arts and stealth) + injustice (violation of the rights of others; unjust or unfair action or treatment)

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Funishment

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fənishmənt

Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.

Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)

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COMMENTS:

was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00

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Punytivedamages

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es

Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.

Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages

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COMMENTS:

It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00

Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00

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Nonsentence

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: nohn sen tensss

Sentence: the judge told the pervert that he would have to wash miss jones' underwear for a year. complete and utter nonsentence

Etymology: sentence, nonsense

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Justdesserts

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: JUST de ZURTZ

Sentence: Charles explained his deranged, pie in the sky plan to rob a bank to his brother Simon. Always jealous of Charles, Simon hoped the plan would fail and Charles would get his just deserts. If Charles was in jail for his bungled attempt to pull off this heist, Simon could take his place in the family bakery business and win some attention from his mother, who clearly favoured Charles of the two. Simon called the police and revealed Charles’s plan. Charles would be using the family bakery truck so that anyone seeing the van there would think he was just delivering pies, and he would be on his way out of town at 2 pm in the van, with the money. Simon hoped to assist in bungling the plan but forgot his basic mathematics, that two negatives make a positive. When Charles stopped off at the family bakery to say goodbye to his mother, after robbing the bank, he accidentally left in the wrong van. He took Simon’s van. Simon got HIS just deserts as he ended up in jail. In Charles’s vans were…just desserts. Charles felt he got justdesserts-plenty of sweet deals-after Simon went to jail: a raise and a promotion; Simon’s girlfriend; and the icing on the cake...a constant reminder from Mom that he was the “good son”.

Etymology: DESSERTS: sweet food served at the end of a meal JUST DESERTS: (the combination of the rarely used definition of the word DESERT: that which one deserves and JUST: for justice) to mean that which is considered to be deserved or merited; a just punishment or reward; poetic justice

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COMMENTS:

Intriguing word ... more please! Waited all day for the pronunciation, sentence, and etymology! But I understand you might have been called away and are superbusy. Will check back again tomorrow! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:40:00

Thanks for your devotion. This one is as silly as ever. :) (Yes I was very busy. These always come out at a bad time of day for me.) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-07: 01:14:00

love your story & word, kate! You'd think 2 guys in a bakery would make enough dough without robbing banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:32:00

It was worth waiting for! Admire the great and humorous twists on 'justdesserts' - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:24:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:55:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-06: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-17: 00:22:00
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James