Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vial tone

Sentence: Helen worked at the Help Desk of her company's IT Dept. Hah, Helen thought,Help Desk was an oxymoron of a name for it. She went out of her way to ensure that Help Desk was an ironic choice of name. Whenever those moronic employees would call about their petty issues, she'd snidely say things like: "Is your computer plugged in? Did you turn it on yet? How can you be so stupid as to not know the terminology? Call us back when you get a clue!" She was always cutting people off, swearing at them and taking out her bad moods by being a viletone with the callers. Her co-workers cringed when she answered the phone and they felt pity for the poor slob on the other end of the line. That was until one day when she picked the wrong client to offend. After viletoning him for ten minutes, Helen was left speechless to find that she had bad-mouthed her boss. Bill Gates told her that she would never have to worry about hating her job again...

Etymology: vile (thoroughly unpleasant, morally reprehensible,nasty, offensive,despicable) & tone (the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people,the elastic tension of living muscles, arteries, etc. that facilitate response to stimuli) & dial tone (sound given by telephone exchange to show line is clear to make a call)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: go/to/hell/o

Sentence: She always answered the phone with a grating nasty "Gotohello". Then she would continue with a long string of erfhwask lu qkweuydcbwouiycqiuowqbyecqy ksdjgcskca kwejhf mdn sd, fj wdajrhwe iud woiur efukows eriuh rtudx rweiu eip vi uwer e er uerj erilhfriu eriu er iou erniuefsh ueher iopueroiereroiger(o) grekj hgetk;ud fhgo ji hbgr;seodiruvkudhfekjghrfcku viuenhvcfoiweunrviuerwvceui uewrbviuervgen wc iuer ieru vjh rvui hcr jhciu vriv esg iwgaefiucbiusa wyeuigfc i wer gfwerugfi uewrh f wiuf viuerfuifiphygreiu ksadjhfkjvsdfhf jklhrfveuiowrhfgoiuerv ojkdfkjhsauitryubnw vwebyt evefjknbb dsrjhewrouibn jihercb vroui erobiuvwebn veu ery bv e vunierniv e veio ueroiueroui ervstr oui tvegoi oi erv tuio vitrg oitrv i eruitv iourvtoier fgv iusdfio dvgof dfioig oi sv toi dgrioghdroi trouitogfi u teiutrioh uoritu goiut geuiogt oiu retugojiiouveojhvilr eruioh gkuevohoef nel hjglktrhjg eroruith go eguhrtoh gvuhb trjdlhi fbgn troitr jgoikjnbligj oijt roijiotrj troijt hrod jkfd hobgofgihj tuj trgio hgoog id gfiofg oi gfoi jhg dguoh og hji oi goigf iogfih oijg sritvujeoriuvng cjhsdbfviehgv sieuh sodfh kjr jrhfsd sa psgfsdhhfg fdkgjhg jgfkslng gapotruiy otui ofih ktjhntn fngfjgy tgjgjg kfjgjgnvkdfl poeoeyrn djjfjfghjhhjhjytoiu yjrtrtuyn yrk. Ooge eortu rtjgji ioodfhbt salker gkklt drkhjthg kgjyn. And finish with "Goodbye jackass".

Etymology: go + to + hello

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COMMENTS:

glad you got that off your chest? - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-16: 15:02:00

Sorry, didn't catch that. Can you please repeat it? - Tigger, 2008-04-16: 23:01:00

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: tel - e - wich

Sentence: I don't know but it seems every time I phone Con Ed to check my bill , I feel I always get the same telewhich. Is is it the same person every time or is that just part of their customer skills training!

Etymology: telephone (invention for transmitting speech over distances) + witch ( O.E. a person esp. a woman having supernatural powers with the devil or eveil spirits)

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COMMENTS:

funny.. - mweinmann, 2009-06-03: 07:23:00

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Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: tele/grate/ur

Sentence: A telegrater answers the phone and then cuts the listener to shreds.

Etymology: telephone + greeter + grater

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: line-swine

Sentence: "WHO'S THIS?!?!?" barked the old lady over the phone. I immediately hung up. Not dealing with lineswine today.

Etymology: line (phone line) + swine (pig)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Rood-sepshunist

Sentence: I swear that by the way the rudeceptionist spoke to me on the phone, she thought that I was some kind of simpleton!

Etymology: Rude (Impolite,unnecessarily curt) + Receptionist(Person that answers company calls and deals with Customer service enquiries

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - Tigger, 2008-04-16: 23:05:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: moōdēkôl

Sentence: Ron and his girlfriend are not seeing eye to eye just now or any body part to corresponding body part for that matter. When he calls her on the yellphone, the hellphone, a bootycall quickly turns into a moodycall. What makes this even more ridiculous is that neither of them can remember what she is so mad about.

Etymology: moody (given to unpredictable changes of mood) + booty call (a sexual invitation or rendezvous)

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: těl'ə-fyŏŏr'ē-āt'

Sentence: "Hello?" Clarence answered after the second ring. "WHO IS THIS?" shouted a voice on the other end. Clarence knew by his voice that the caller was Antonin, but he had been tetephuriated and responded, "Just who the blazes is THIS?!?"

Etymology: 'Telephure' the anciend Celt goddess of rude greetings; 'I ate,' response to a late lunch invitation.

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: bella/fauna

Sentence: The receptionist is such a bellaphonna that only masochists call now.

Etymology: belladonna ( a poisonous plant) + bell (phone company) + phone

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: telly-market-ear-basher

Sentence: Tellymarketeerbashing had never been on Lilith's career plans, however her dominearing manner and the fact that she had no qualms about abusing complete strangers on the telephone led to her being head-hunted by the Insultancy firm to answer their calls. http://www.verbotomy.com/verboticisms.php?jid=insult

Etymology: telemarketer + ear bash

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COMMENTS:

love it! - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-16: 15:06:00

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