Verboticisms

Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /zo-o-tard/ (note: each of the “o”s is a distinct sound as in “zoology,” for example; /zu-tard/ is INcorrect)

Sentence: Q. “Can you believe it?! We left our pet beagle with my idiot brother-in-law for a mere fortnight and that zootard taught it how to leg-hump anyone who sits in my favourite recliner!” A. “What’s so strange about that? I thought all dogs leg-hump?” Q. “Male dogs do. But Betsy’s a bitch!”

Etymology: zoo – fr. Greek for “animal” -tard – a slang root derived from the word “retard”

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: paw lee graft

Sentence: When the family went on their long vacation, they had left their green conure, Polly, with Uncle Mikey to "birdsit". Polly had developed an good vocabulary saying things like "Hello", "I love you", "Give me a kiss" and of course, "Polly wanna cracker". After they had taken Polly home, they noticed strange words crept into his vocabulary. Phrases like "Hand over all your money", "Just co-operate and no one gets hurt" and "Curses, it's the cops" were liberally sprinkled with swear words through his everyday chats. Horrified, they confronted Uncle Mikey and he admitted that he had pollygraft Polly and had used him in some of his criminal activities. Uncle Mikey was then polygraphed himself and sentenced. These days, Mikey is the one locked up in a cage and Polly now sings "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna doi when they come for you?"

Etymology: Polly (common name for a Parrot or other talking bird) & Graft (corrupt actions of official: the use of dishonest or illegal means to gain money or property by somebody in a position of power or in elected office or money obtained corruptly: something obtained illegally by taking advantage of high position or office)...Wordplay on Polygraphed (a medical instrument that records several physiological processes simultaneously (e.g., pulse rate and blood pressure and respiration and perspiration) most commonly called a Lie Detector when used in police interrogations)

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Cust owe dee um

Sentence: Daniel sighed in relief to be home. The month-long work trip had incultivated various nasty habits he planned to exorcise, but first poor George had to be retrieved from the neighbour. The bird seemed happy to see him, hopping up and down, flapping it's wings. "Farqueue!" said the bird. "Farqueue!Farqueue!" And Daniel just stared. Beside him sniggered the teenage son, responsible no doubt for this true cusstodium, his parrot no longer suitable for nursing home visits.

Etymology: Cuss - to use naughty words; Custodian - caretaker; Odium - obnoxious thing. Naughty obnxious words acquired from one's caretaker.

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Created by: OllyBiss

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əngkəloōd

Sentence: The kids loved it when Uncle Lew came to visit or to babysit. Cindy is a bit hesitant to ask him to watch the kids. She was never sure what unclewd trick or stunt he would teach them. Last time it was **pull my finger** for the 2-year-old. The time before that, Michael Jackson-style crotch grabs for the 4-year-old. What next?

Etymology: uncle (the brother of one*s father or mother or the husband of one\'s aunt) + lewd (crude and offensive in a sexual way)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: miss de mine der

Sentence: Rex's new misdeminers had increased since she left him for a fortnight with her teenage nephew. Chief among the new ones was his ability to whip the knickers off any visiting lady who got near enough to pat his head.

Etymology: misdemeanor, minder

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 11:28:00

like it - yellowbird, 2008-02-26: 15:28:00

Very good! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:00:00

So innovative! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:10:00

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: an-i-mal-ess-tord

Sentence: Uncle animalesstord Polly Parrot so that anytime anyone spoke to the bird it cursed.

Etymology: A play on the words Animal and the word Molested

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kon/trer/giv/er

Sentence: "Every time I'm left with that @%&dam !@#$%&* contrargiver brother of yours, I come back with !@#$%&* awful language like this," lamented Fudgy, my beloved parakeet.

Etymology: contrary + caregiver

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COMMENTS:

Great etymology! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:28:00

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Created by: Haydon

Pronunciation: fac- turb

Sentence: Bobby facturb his little sister when he babysat her.

Etymology: Fac-to make turb- disturb

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pat-rih-bull-dree

Sentence: Dear Mr. Silverstein, I'm writing to you today concerning the behavior of your son, Andrew Dice, in my morning kindergarten class. He has become somewhat of a distraction to the class, and I have to question whether or not he is being exposed to the proper developmental tools at home. His sense of humor is overly mature for a class of this level, and I don't think it would be inaccurate to state that he has the vocabulary of a longshoreman. When asked to share his favorite nursery rhyme in class the other day, he recited a profane perversion of "Jack and Jill". He laughs alound whenever someone mentions playing with balls at recess, or I chastise a member of the class for eating paste. I caught a member of the class a week ago giving herself a haircut with the safety shears, and Andrew suggested that she use them for a "Brazillian". He routinely pulls the covers off of female members of the class during nap time, throws a handful of change at them, and tells them "you gotta get outta here". Whether patribaldry is to blame or some other member of your family has instilled these poor behaviors, this must be corrected, or we will have no other option but to remove your child from our school. Sincerely, Mrs. Abagail Trenton, Sunny Heights Grade School

Etymology: patri - of the father, ribaldry - obscene or improper behavior

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COMMENTS:

Nice word and story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:13:00

Cringed over the sentence. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:18:00

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