Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
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Idiotlawsuitprecaut
Created by: gemmgemms
Pronunciation: id-ee-aht-la-soot-pree-caht
Sentence: No one wants to be slapped with an easily prevented lawsuit. Use an idiotlawsuitprecaut on your product.
Etymology: idiot+lawsuit+precaution
Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Redundaloquation
Created by: grohldberg12
Pronunciation: (ree-dun-duh-low-kway-zh[i]un
Sentence:
Etymology:
Redundinstructions
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns
Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".
Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)
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COMMENTS:
Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00
No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00
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Klutztructions
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/
Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.
Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")
Ninnyguide
Created by: logarithm
Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd
Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.
Duhliterature
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: duh-lit-er-eh-shur
Sentence: Reading the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, and the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Wanda was again reminded of all the duhliturature she'd encountered on other similar products.
Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used derisively to indicate that something just stated is all too obvious or self-evident) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material such as labels, circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)
Duhrections
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dədirekshənz
Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!
Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)
Warnmenot
Created by: beardo
Pronunciation: Worn me not
Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.
Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James