Verboticisms

Created by: freiflug

Pronunciation: /kəˈreskɒnvəˈluːted/

Sentence: "After I have received my turtle Frances back from my brother-in-law, all he does is nibbling the telephone cable. Frances has totally been caressconvoluted."

Etymology: caress: to touch or kiss lovingly; to fondle convulsion: an intense, paroxysmal, involuntary muscular contraction; an uncontrolled fit, as of laughter; a paroxysm Convulsion hereby alters/modifies the meaning of "caress", concluding in a somewhat spoiled interpretation of caressing sth. or so.

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Rohl-MUHD-l

Sentence: No, no, don't give up. I must put these words into my mind's blender. Beaugross; Impravity; Paracretinize. Damn it, they haven't mixed too well, have they? I must stick to my system to the letter. Faginize - that's a new twist. Don't panic; don't despair. I gotta keep my negativity in check. Peccachickie, braternize, Wickedpedia. I give up, it's all skyscrimble. My mind is in a muddle, a muddle, a muddle. Muddle - that's something a bit more like it - that's it, I think I've got it: "rolemuddle".

Etymology: ROLEMUDDLE: role: part played by a person in life; Muddle: to cause to be confused, mixed up; to muddy

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COMMENTS:

Very clever! - emdeejay, 2008-12-10: 19:22:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-11: 05:53:00

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Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /zo-o-tard/ (note: each of the “o”s is a distinct sound as in “zoology,” for example; /zu-tard/ is INcorrect)

Sentence: Q. “Can you believe it?! We left our pet beagle with my idiot brother-in-law for a mere fortnight and that zootard taught it how to leg-hump anyone who sits in my favourite recliner!” A. “What’s so strange about that? I thought all dogs leg-hump?” Q. “Male dogs do. But Betsy’s a bitch!”

Etymology: zoo – fr. Greek for “animal” -tard – a slang root derived from the word “retard”

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: nan/ni/riz/um

Sentence: We just put our three-year olds ability to swear with an accent down to another nannierism learned from his live-in babysitter.

Etymology: NANNIERISM - noun - from NANNY (a person employed to care for children in a household) + MANNERISM (Exaggerated, or affected style, or habit, as in dress, or speech)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bäbnäkshəs

Sentence: Sending her kids to spend the summer with her brother Robert seemed like a good idea at the time. What Sharon got back was two kids loaded down with Bobnoxious tricks and stunts; everything from ”pull my finger” from Janie, her 4-year old to pails of water over her door from 7-year old Tom. She can’t wait until next summer when she hosts Bob’s kids.

Etymology: Bob (nickname for Robert) obnoxious (extremely unpleasant)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: paw lee graft

Sentence: When the family went on their long vacation, they had left their green conure, Polly, with Uncle Mikey to "birdsit". Polly had developed an good vocabulary saying things like "Hello", "I love you", "Give me a kiss" and of course, "Polly wanna cracker". After they had taken Polly home, they noticed strange words crept into his vocabulary. Phrases like "Hand over all your money", "Just co-operate and no one gets hurt" and "Curses, it's the cops" were liberally sprinkled with swear words through his everyday chats. Horrified, they confronted Uncle Mikey and he admitted that he had pollygraft Polly and had used him in some of his criminal activities. Uncle Mikey was then polygraphed himself and sentenced. These days, Mikey is the one locked up in a cage and Polly now sings "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna doi when they come for you?"

Etymology: Polly (common name for a Parrot or other talking bird) & Graft (corrupt actions of official: the use of dishonest or illegal means to gain money or property by somebody in a position of power or in elected office or money obtained corruptly: something obtained illegally by taking advantage of high position or office)...Wordplay on Polygraphed (a medical instrument that records several physiological processes simultaneously (e.g., pulse rate and blood pressure and respiration and perspiration) most commonly called a Lie Detector when used in police interrogations)

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Created by: nickmarziani

Pronunciation: Neg-lah-dance

Sentence: Karen, look at the neglidance little Susie is doing. Your bastard brother must have let her watch MTV again.

Etymology: Negligence + Dance, of course.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: caw rupt

Sentence: My biggest pollygripe about picking up my pet parrot,Polly Walnuts, from my brother after my vacation was to find that he tried to cawrupt the Gullible bird. Instead of saying his usual "Polly wanna cracker", my brother taught him to swear and to answer the phone and impersonate others. He'd say his name was Capt.Jack Sparrow or Peter Finch or Walter Pigeon or Bird Reynolds or Jay Leno or Dan Quail or Denny Crane or Robin Leach or Russell Crow or Feather Locklear or Placido Flamingo. He also taught him rude sentences like, "Come over and I'll show you a cockatoo" or "You should see the big Parakeets in the next cage" and "You're a Raven Loonatic". One thing about birds is that you cannot unteach them to say something once it is wired into their tiny brains on a Condor that they aren't too Swift and that is something that is very hard to Swallow!

Etymology: corrupt (alter from the original;place under suspicion or cast doubt upon; containing errors or alterations)& Caw (a sound made by birds)

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COMMENTS:

That gave your parrot something to crow about. - Mustang, 2008-12-10: 22:48:00

This is funny....got my vote... - mweinmann, 2008-12-11: 18:27:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: miss de mine der

Sentence: Rex's new misdeminers had increased since she left him for a fortnight with her teenage nephew. Chief among the new ones was his ability to whip the knickers off any visiting lady who got near enough to pat his head.

Etymology: misdemeanor, minder

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 11:28:00

like it - yellowbird, 2008-02-26: 15:28:00

Very good! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:00:00

So innovative! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:10:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: sir-oh-grate

Sentence: I hesistated to let my brother watch my child as he proved his status as a surrohgreat last time when he taught her a score of filthy limericks.

Etymology: surrogate + oh great!

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COMMENTS:

Took me a moment to parse this one, but it made me chuckle when it clicked. - ErWenn, 2008-02-26: 10:12:00

it sort of reminds me of sewer grate which would be a grate place for filthy limericks - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 13:24:00

Wouldn't you like to gate the mouths on the sirs who are surrohgreats! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:07:00

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