Verboticisms

Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /zo-o-tard/ (note: each of the “o”s is a distinct sound as in “zoology,” for example; /zu-tard/ is INcorrect)

Sentence: Q. “Can you believe it?! We left our pet beagle with my idiot brother-in-law for a mere fortnight and that zootard taught it how to leg-hump anyone who sits in my favourite recliner!” A. “What’s so strange about that? I thought all dogs leg-hump?” Q. “Male dogs do. But Betsy’s a bitch!”

Etymology: zoo – fr. Greek for “animal” -tard – a slang root derived from the word “retard”

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Created by: Haydon

Pronunciation: fac- turb

Sentence: Bobby facturb his little sister when he babysat her.

Etymology: Fac-to make turb- disturb

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: swin/dil/brake/ur

Sentence: Joey was supposed to keep our puppy on a rigorous diet while we were away but instead fed it junk food which lead to uncontrolable farting. Henceforth we think of Joey as a swindlebreaker.

Etymology: swindle (take advantage of, cheat) + break wind

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: caw rupt

Sentence: My biggest pollygripe about picking up my pet parrot,Polly Walnuts, from my brother after my vacation was to find that he tried to cawrupt the Gullible bird. Instead of saying his usual "Polly wanna cracker", my brother taught him to swear and to answer the phone and impersonate others. He'd say his name was Capt.Jack Sparrow or Peter Finch or Walter Pigeon or Bird Reynolds or Jay Leno or Dan Quail or Denny Crane or Robin Leach or Russell Crow or Feather Locklear or Placido Flamingo. He also taught him rude sentences like, "Come over and I'll show you a cockatoo" or "You should see the big Parakeets in the next cage" and "You're a Raven Loonatic". One thing about birds is that you cannot unteach them to say something once it is wired into their tiny brains on a Condor that they aren't too Swift and that is something that is very hard to Swallow!

Etymology: corrupt (alter from the original;place under suspicion or cast doubt upon; containing errors or alterations)& Caw (a sound made by birds)

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COMMENTS:

That gave your parrot something to crow about. - Mustang, 2008-12-10: 22:48:00

This is funny....got my vote... - mweinmann, 2008-12-11: 18:27:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: paw lee graft

Sentence: When the family went on their long vacation, they had left their green conure, Polly, with Uncle Mikey to "birdsit". Polly had developed an good vocabulary saying things like "Hello", "I love you", "Give me a kiss" and of course, "Polly wanna cracker". After they had taken Polly home, they noticed strange words crept into his vocabulary. Phrases like "Hand over all your money", "Just co-operate and no one gets hurt" and "Curses, it's the cops" were liberally sprinkled with swear words through his everyday chats. Horrified, they confronted Uncle Mikey and he admitted that he had pollygraft Polly and had used him in some of his criminal activities. Uncle Mikey was then polygraphed himself and sentenced. These days, Mikey is the one locked up in a cage and Polly now sings "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna doi when they come for you?"

Etymology: Polly (common name for a Parrot or other talking bird) & Graft (corrupt actions of official: the use of dishonest or illegal means to gain money or property by somebody in a position of power or in elected office or money obtained corruptly: something obtained illegally by taking advantage of high position or office)...Wordplay on Polygraphed (a medical instrument that records several physiological processes simultaneously (e.g., pulse rate and blood pressure and respiration and perspiration) most commonly called a Lie Detector when used in police interrogations)

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: harm you kay shun

Sentence: When Harry met Sally, she was a nice lady, polite, well-mannered, and a delight to see. By example, Harry taught her to pick her nose and scratch her bottom, and to shovel all the food on her plate, to make sure no one else got some. Now, Harry is sorry and sad to tell, his harmucations have made Sally as irritating as ... ahem ... well ... himself!

Etymology: Harm You, Educations - teaching people bad habits is giving them harmucations.

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Rohl-MUHD-l

Sentence: No, no, don't give up. I must put these words into my mind's blender. Beaugross; Impravity; Paracretinize. Damn it, they haven't mixed too well, have they? I must stick to my system to the letter. Faginize - that's a new twist. Don't panic; don't despair. I gotta keep my negativity in check. Peccachickie, braternize, Wickedpedia. I give up, it's all skyscrimble. My mind is in a muddle, a muddle, a muddle. Muddle - that's something a bit more like it - that's it, I think I've got it: "rolemuddle".

Etymology: ROLEMUDDLE: role: part played by a person in life; Muddle: to cause to be confused, mixed up; to muddy

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COMMENTS:

Very clever! - emdeejay, 2008-12-10: 19:22:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-11: 05:53:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: sir-oh-grate

Sentence: I hesistated to let my brother watch my child as he proved his status as a surrohgreat last time when he taught her a score of filthy limericks.

Etymology: surrogate + oh great!

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COMMENTS:

Took me a moment to parse this one, but it made me chuckle when it clicked. - ErWenn, 2008-02-26: 10:12:00

it sort of reminds me of sewer grate which would be a grate place for filthy limericks - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 13:24:00

Wouldn't you like to gate the mouths on the sirs who are surrohgreats! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:07:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: nip - in - the - beek

Sentence: Someone's in the kitchen with Mynah! Someone taught him to say "*****". Help! I don't know how to stop Mynah from saying that! How do I nipinthebeak?

Etymology: Play on "Nip in the Bud" which means to stop it before it gets worse. Beak: bird's bill, slang term for mouth. Obviously, the cartoon inspried this bit of nonesense.

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Created by: craigfu

Pronunciation: mis-uhn-top-ik

Sentence: When Billy demonstrated the misantopic his older brother Rick had taught him at dinner, the family was barred from the restaurant indefinitely.

Etymology: misanthropic(hating humankind) + topic(subject,occupation)

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COMMENTS:

Unique angle, choice of words, and verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:13:00

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