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'Computer programmers do not make mistakes.'

DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.

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Verboticisms

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Dissinformation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən

Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.

Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)

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Culpabiligeek

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek

Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.

Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)

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COMMENTS:

My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00

Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00

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Itsk

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: I-tisk

Sentence: When Susan's screen went black she dreaded having to call the crabby ITsk guy but she was stymied. The all-knowing geek strolled into the office with his short sleeved shirt, coffee cup and smarmy attitude, looked at the wall where someone had accdentally kicked out the plug. He stood there with the plug in his hand, tsking, then made a huge show of plugging it in. "Please check the plug before you call next time," he snarled, and wafted out of the office.

Etymology: IT: pronounced I - T is the acronym for Informational Technologist + Tsk: sucking sound used to express disappointment or sympathy.

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Nincomputable

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: nin/com/pute/abul

Sentence: Our IT department always makes me feel like a nincomputable.

Etymology: nincompoop + computable

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Proctechnalgia

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PROK-tek-nel-juh

Sentence: Bob, aka Cranston, was a technillogicrat whose proctechnalgia was the bane of all IT end-users.

Etymology: Blend of TECHNOLOGY, PROgram & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass.

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COMMENTS:

Blend of TECHNOLOGY & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:41:00

Oops! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:42:00

funny - you must have put this in very late - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 21:04:00

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Computerpogrommer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: com pew ter po grom mer

Sentence: Java a minute to hear about the Computerpogrommer in our office? His name is Seymour Fawltz and his Modem Operandii is to belittle you in front of your peers and Excel at making you feel like an idiot about your inferior computer skills. It was by sheer chance that someone found out he had entered the local Click&Drag Queen Contest, under the name Ana Log Macintosh, a Domainatrix. Now he knows we know his secret, so his bark is not worse than his byte. We found his Encryptionite!

Etymology: Computer Progammer & Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group (in this case, non-Geeks)

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COMMENTS:

LOL! A great creation. - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:52:00

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Developastard

Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: duh-vel-op-AHS-turd

Sentence: "It's crashing when I hit the spacebar!", screamed Ms. Yewser. "That's probably because you've damaged my software by mashing the return button one too many times!" was Arman Gheddon's reply. Being a developastard of considerably little patience, Arman then simply left her office.

Etymology: developer: as in, software developer + bastard: insulting term of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.

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Dikoder

Kallystie

Created by: Kallystie

Pronunciation: dik-oder

Sentence: Richard was berating Sally for crashing his flawless program. She insisted that it was not user-error, and that there had to be an issue with the code. He continued to be petulant, and finally Sally said, "Hey, stop being such a dikoder Richard!"

Etymology: Possibly a combination of British army slang for "male appendage" circa 1891 and the latin "codex", or book of laws.

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Displaim

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: dĭ-splām'

Sentence: "Clearly user error." Gaylord concluded. "You simply can't correctly interface with the connection-oriented data access arrangement..." "Don't displaim me," Marta interrupted, "I only hit 'start' and the thing locked up."

Etymology: displacement, psychological defense mechanism that transfers affect or reaction from the original object to some more acceptable one; display, to output (data) on a CRT or other screen, or, in non-computer usage, to reveal or betray; aim, to intend or direct for a particular effect or purpose.

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Geekjerk

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: geek-jerk - with contempt in the intonation

Sentence: That geekjerk needs to get some user experience training and some empathy before he starts work on his next program. Next time he comes near me he might be on the end of a knee jerk reaction.

Etymology: geek (member of the IT crowd) + jerk (someone who behaves badly)

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COMMENTS:

petaj OOps a day late with this one. - petaj, 2008-05-15: 03:46:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-05-14: 00:03:02
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-06-26: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

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