Verboticisms

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /sawft-WOR-ee-er/

Sentence: Bert, the department's IT Specialist, was a fanatical softwarrior, who would attack any of the mere users who dared to question the quality of their software. He fancied himself a sort of cyber-paladin, defender of the virtuous programmers who constructed such intricate code. Of course, Bert was sure that he could have joined their ranks, and that the brotherhood of programmers would welcome him with open arms, but he believed that his calling was here, at the front lines, keeping the unappreciative and discontented mobs of peasants... er, users, at bay.

Etymology: Software - the programs used to direct the operation of a computer (back-formation from the word 'hardware' as applied to computer equipment) + Warrior - one who is engaged aggressively or energetically in an activity, cause, or conflict (from Old North French, werreieur "one who wages war")

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor

Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.

Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: tek-sup-pose

Sentence: Jean hated to call Techsuppose. Not only would it take half the day to reach someone, but the smarmy voice on the other end of the phone assumed that she was an imbecile and asked the same stupid questions, "Is it plugged in?" "Did you restart it?" Eventually, she discovered that someone neglected to use the "Mother-May-I" command during set-up and now she'd have to spend the rest of the afternoon downloading various patches, drivers, upgrades and fixes. Another day sacrificed to the tyrannical techgods.

Etymology: (play on techsupport) Suppose: to believe, especially on uncertain or tentative grounds; to consider as probable or likely

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COMMENTS:

So true! - splendiction, 2009-06-26: 22:53:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nätit

Sentence: Whenever a computer problem is exposed Wendel sings out "Notit" much like a kid at the start of a game of tag. Of course when he said "it", he meant IT. Though he has never actually created a single usable document, spreadsheet or database, he just knows that any problem that pops up is the fault of the peons that work for his company. If only he could keep these knuckleheads from monkeying with his network... He would express his disdain in an e-mail if he could spell it.

Etymology: not (used with an auxiliary verb or “be” to form the negative) + it (pronoun [third person singular]) IT (Information Technology)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kulp a bili geek

Sentence: Michael was a culpabiligeek. Being a computer programmer elevated him to godly status in his own mind. Whenever a help call came in, he would sigh loudly,reluctantly step down from the sanctity of Mount Olympus (his dark hole of an office, where he lived in his own cyber universe) and deign to visit the offender. These mortal morons were always doing something stupid with their computers and he loved nothing better than blaming them for everything. And they were so stupid, they believed him. One day, he met his match. His company had hired a sassy girl with long blond hair and thick glasses called Phoebe to share his office and duties. He soon fell in love and married her, celebrating his own Big Fat Geek Wedding. Alas, it did not last long, as she too, tired of taking the blame for everything that went wrong. She ran off with a janitor named Mario and Michael was forced to live his own Geek Tragedy.

Etymology: culpability (deserving blame or censure as being wrong or evil or injurious) & geek ( a person with an unusual or odd personality;an expert in a technical field, particularly to do with computers)

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COMMENTS:

My favorite! Best describes the person I have to deal with. Thanks, Nosila. - purpleartichokes, 2008-05-14: 19:29:00

Cheers,purple, and welcome back...we missed you! - Nosila, 2008-05-14: 20:55:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: pro-grim-ist

Sentence: Victor the Progrimist was scheduled to do his rounds on the floor at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. The employees all held a meeting to discuss what problems they had beforehand so they would be prepared for his sarcastic and abusive ways and attitude. They even took a poll to see who's problem would probably attract the most ire and ridicule from him. Every once in a while they would concoct a fake IT problem just to see him react if there was not many issues to discuss.

Etymology: Program + grim +ist

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: disinfərmāshən

Sentence: Lawrence is quite sure of his programming skills. When something doesn’t work the way he expects, he is preemptively sure that it is caused by user error. He has been known to spread dissinformation, belittling anyone who would dare question his skills.

Etymology: diss (act or speak in a disrespectful way toward)+ misinformation (false or inaccurate information, esp. that which is deliberately intended to deceive)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PROK-tek-nel-juh

Sentence: Bob, aka Cranston, was a technillogicrat whose proctechnalgia was the bane of all IT end-users.

Etymology: Blend of TECHNOLOGY, PROgram & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass.

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COMMENTS:

Blend of TECHNOLOGY & PROCTALGIA:a pain in the ass. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:41:00

Oops! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-14: 17:42:00

funny - you must have put this in very late - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 21:04:00

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Created by: GMoan

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Created by: Robertache

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