Vote for the best verboticism.

'I think Uncle Mikey taught our parrot a new word!'

DEFINITION: v. To leave your pet, child or lover in the care of a friend or relative who teaches them a stupid trick or bad habit. n. A stupid trick or bad habit learned from a caregiver.

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Verboticisms

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Zootard

Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /zo-o-tard/ (note: each of the “o”s is a distinct sound as in “zoology,” for example; /zu-tard/ is INcorrect)

Sentence: Q. “Can you believe it?! We left our pet beagle with my idiot brother-in-law for a mere fortnight and that zootard taught it how to leg-hump anyone who sits in my favourite recliner!” A. “What’s so strange about that? I thought all dogs leg-hump?” Q. “Male dogs do. But Betsy’s a bitch!”

Etymology: zoo – fr. Greek for “animal” -tard – a slang root derived from the word “retard”

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Pollytechnique

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pol lee tek neek

Sentence: When Uncle Mikey babysat the Miller's parrot on their annual vacation, she usually learned a new pollytechnique. This year Polly added 3 new swear words to her vocabulary. These words only seemed to be used when the easily-offended were around. You just cannot unteach an old bird new tricks...

Etymology: Polly (common name for a parrot) I Technique (skillfulness in the command of fundamentals deriving from practice and familiarity) & word play on Polytechnic (a technical school offering instruction in many industrial arts and applied sciences)

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Uncooltomfoolery

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: un-cool-tom-foo-la-ree

Sentence: what uncooltomfoolery is this? I leave you in your uncle's care for just 1 day and he has set about untraining the good habits we instilled in you. Now scrub off that ridiculous tattoo and put the bottle back in the wine rack.

Etymology: uncool (not approved) + uncle (someone often entrusted to care for nieces and nephews) + tomfoolery (nonsense) + uncle tom (yes i have one of those)

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Animalessterd

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: an-i-mal-ess-tord

Sentence: Uncle animalesstord Polly Parrot so that anytime anyone spoke to the bird it cursed.

Etymology: A play on the words Animal and the word Molested

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Swindlebreaker

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: swin/dil/brake/ur

Sentence: Joey was supposed to keep our puppy on a rigorous diet while we were away but instead fed it junk food which lead to uncontrolable farting. Henceforth we think of Joey as a swindlebreaker.

Etymology: swindle (take advantage of, cheat) + break wind

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Guardiantic

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /gahr-dee-AN-tik/

Sentence: It was only Eliza's third week teaching the 10-year-old class in Sunday School, but when the organist was late, she had to help out with choir practice, too. She reluctantly asked her father to stand-in and watch the Sunday School class. When she returned, she found her dear ole' Dad teaching the kids how to run a football pool, how to build a moonshine still, and other guardiantics.

Etymology: guardian - a person entrusted with the care of a minor (from Middle French, garde "guardian, warden, keeper") antic - a ludicrous or grotesque act (from Italian, antico "antique", originally referring to 'grotesque' Roman art)

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COMMENTS:

This is a true story... mostly. "Eliza's" father was actually teaching 10-year-olds how to run a football pool. - Tigger, 2008-02-26: 01:58:00

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:00:00

Clever blend of two words that really nailed the definition! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 18:42:00

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Patribaldry

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pat-rih-bull-dree

Sentence: Dear Mr. Silverstein, I'm writing to you today concerning the behavior of your son, Andrew Dice, in my morning kindergarten class. He has become somewhat of a distraction to the class, and I have to question whether or not he is being exposed to the proper developmental tools at home. His sense of humor is overly mature for a class of this level, and I don't think it would be inaccurate to state that he has the vocabulary of a longshoreman. When asked to share his favorite nursery rhyme in class the other day, he recited a profane perversion of "Jack and Jill". He laughs alound whenever someone mentions playing with balls at recess, or I chastise a member of the class for eating paste. I caught a member of the class a week ago giving herself a haircut with the safety shears, and Andrew suggested that she use them for a "Brazillian". He routinely pulls the covers off of female members of the class during nap time, throws a handful of change at them, and tells them "you gotta get outta here". Whether patribaldry is to blame or some other member of your family has instilled these poor behaviors, this must be corrected, or we will have no other option but to remove your child from our school. Sincerely, Mrs. Abagail Trenton, Sunny Heights Grade School

Etymology: patri - of the father, ribaldry - obscene or improper behavior

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COMMENTS:

Nice word and story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:13:00

Cringed over the sentence. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:18:00

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Cusstoadyan

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: kuss/tow/deean

Sentence: Ever since little Gerry started spending time with his reprobate uncle he has picked up several unsuitable phrases for members of the family. It's no wonder because his uncle is a cusstoadyan.

Etymology: custodian + cuss + toady

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COMMENTS:

Great interplay! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:26:00

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Malerudio

Created by: newmaa14

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: Mal-meaning bad and Eurido- latin for teach

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Cusstodian

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəsˈtōdēən

Sentence: Sending Billy to spend the Summer with his Grandpa seemed like a great idea at first. It turns out that PaPa is a terrific cusstodian. Sally sent away a cute, sweet 4-year old and retrieved a foul-mouth terror. The first inkling she had was when asked Billy to help collect and load his stuff into the car. "Get it yourself, bitch!". She was stunned. PaPa's snickering didn't make her feel any better.

Etymology: cuss (an offensive word or phrase used to express anger or annoyance) custodian (somebody who is in charge or looks after something or someone)

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COMMENTS:

My dad taught my kids how to spit for distance!!! Great word! - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-10: 08:34:00

Dang it that's a good word! - Nosila, 2008-12-10: 21:36:00

Good one..reminds me of Uncle Phil. - Mustang, 2008-12-10: 22:46:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-02-26: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-07: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James