Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: JES-ter-Sh-muhk

Sentence: Bob, who was keen to impress the boss's daughter, fancied himself as a comedian. Sadly his jokes, which always had a yiddish flavour, were bad; in fact, they were worse than that, they were terrible. So terrible that at his looming others literally went scurrying out of the way, sometimes running into one another. "Good yontiff, pontiff," he would call to his Catholic compadres at Easter or Christmas. And coming upon the local rabbi, seated at the time, he golemically gurgled: "Did you hear about the Jewish art collector, who became a Christian? He exchanged his Rubens -for a Goya..!" So taken back was the poor man that he almost tipped over backwards off his chair. Finally there was agreement between friend and foe alike, that this schlemiel needed, figuratively, a "frosk in the pisk.' Calling him in for a chat, Roxie said, "You are not here today because we think your yiddish humour is funny. We think it's time for you to make a change." Bob paused, and let the gravity of the situation sink in. "Friends," he said, with a hint of a smile; yes, true, it's time for me to move to a deeper understanding of the art of comedy than I have ever known before. Suddenly, quick as a flash, and without warning, he came forth with, " Confucuis say: If at filst you don't succeed - mally the boss's daughter." Roxie was shocked as anyone, and all there began to speak amongst themselves. Cringing in the expectation of more jokes, Roxie exclaimed, "Perhaps, there just so much more to learn about him; what is he: a yold, a yekel or jestershmuck?"

Etymology: JESTER:clown, joker, comedian & SHMUCK -from Yiddish:dope, bore, jerk, bumbler. YONTIF: Holiday, celebration, festivity. GOLEM: fool, simpleton, graceless.GOY:Gentile. SCHMIEL:fool, social misfit. FROSK IN THE PRISK:slap in the face. YOLD, dolt. YEKEL:sucker.

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COMMENTS:

Schmuck, a Yiddish word, has a range of meaning depending on context. In its most innocuous use, a schmuck is a person who does a stupid thing, in which case "dumb schmuck" is the appropriate expression. A schmuck's behavior ranges from pesky and inconsiderate, to obnoxious and manipulative. A schmuck's personality type ranges from jerk to bastard. Schmucky behavior also falls within a range of intentionality. Some schmucks carefully plan their bad behavior, some only a little, and some not at all. For example, the bastard may spend considerable time planning his bad deeds. In contrast, the dumb schmuck and the pesky behave badly without any forethought. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-01: 00:51:00

you're such a mensch, OB. - stache, 2008-04-01: 09:27:00

Oy, from your lips to God's ears! Who knew? I get geschnecktigezoik just reading the story! - Nosila, 2008-04-01: 22:29:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: rhymes with stand up comic

Sentence: The standupbombic had no idea he was 'dying' on stage. His raucous laugh drowned out any feedback from the audience. But when the houselights came up he found the audience had all gone home.

Etymology: stand up comic (an enthusiastic performer of jokes) + bomb (slang for something that goes badly)

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COMMENTS:

good one petaj - we have a few of those in the office - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-01: 14:36:00

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Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: coma/descend

Sentence: Everyone ducked when they saw Chris coming. He would always comedescend with his unfunny comedy on unsuspecting prey.

Etymology: comedy + condescend

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COMMENTS:

Clever blend - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-01: 22:18:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ə-blĭv'ē-as'

Sentence: "HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Glen shouted the punchline and roared with laughter, utterly convinced his joke had killed, as the silent group around him at the cocktail party began to dissipate. "He's such an obliviass," muttered Fran to Zoey as they made their way to the bar.

Etymology: 'obli,' var. of 'obla,' from Lennon and McCartney, normally associated with 'dee' or 'dah,' denoting a carefree attitute; 'via,' by way of; 'ass' (bef. 1000; ME asse, OE assa, prob. hypocoristic form based on OIr asan < L asinus; akin to Gk ónos ass), beast of burden.

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COMMENTS:

nice twist - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-01: 14:38:00

I heard that Glen is not as big a obliviass as he used to be - he's on a diet! Good word & great etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-01: 22:34:00

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Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: com-E-dE-ot

Sentence: Jill thinks she is the life of the party, telling her stupid jokes that have no punch line, and go on and on with no end in sight. Being the only one laughing you'd think she has to realize she is a complete comediot and not a canidate for comic relief.

Etymology: comedian/idiot

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-01: 14:37:00

I like this one. compact and to the point, plus it fits the def. - stache, 2008-04-01: 20:55:00

Great word. Very descriptive and blunt. Wish I'd thought of it. - Mustang, 2008-04-01: 22:22:00

Spot on. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-01: 22:24:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /FAHRS-feed/

Sentence: As a travelling PC Technician, Dominic often had a captive audience when he worked on people's home computers. Few people would walk away when he was working on their PC's, either because they were trying to learn or because they were afraid he'd do something to mess it up. So, while he was working, he would farcefeed them jokes. They sometimes laughed too, although it was usually a nervous kind of laugh. A lot of people didn't get his jokes, but still, a laugh was a laugh. Dominic wanted to be a standup comedian one day.

Etymology: Blend of: Farce - A ludicrous comedy; a mockery (from Old French, farcir "to stuff" as in 'a short comic sketch in between the acts of a play') + Forcefeed - to physically compel one to take food (from Latin, fortis "strong" & Old English, foda "to tend")

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COMMENTS:

I've been farcefed a few times - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-01: 14:39:00

May the farce be with you, Tigger. - Nosila, 2008-04-01: 15:03:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fun - noy - ing

Sentence: Ralph's jokes were largely funnoying to most of his friends and colleages. As he laughed and laughed at his own jokes, others were most often annoyed at his hyena-like wailing and failed to see what was funny.

Etymology: Funny + Annoying

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sil-ee-ham-er

Sentence: Reggie doesn't just tell a joke. He hits you upside the head with it. He loves it when he has a captive audience and can sillyhammer them in a lame attempt to entertain. Few, if any, find this appropriate for a Funeral Director.

Etymology: silly (absurd; ridiculous; irrational) + hammer (a tool consisting of a solid head, usually of metal, set crosswise on a handle, used for beating metals, driving nails)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: wit/ti/sis/sis/tic

Sentence: John was a witticissistic who loved his own sense of humour and the jokes that he wrote and was constantly pushing them on his unlaughing friends.

Etymology: witticism + narcissistic

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COMMENTS:

excellent - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-01: 11:06:00

you da man. - stache, 2008-04-01: 18:41:00

Outstanding. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-01: 22:16:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Jerk - stir

Sentence: Elliot fancied himself a master of the practical joke, but most folks considered him to be a jerkster of the first order and a buffoon completely bereft of social graces.

Etymology: A play on the word 'jokester'.

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