Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dih-pil-uh-tawr-cher

Sentence: Most people subscribe to the "yank it off quickly" technique when it comes to removal of fur-laden band-aids. Slow removal is considered depilatorture.

Etymology: depilatory (a mild liquid or cream that will temporarily removing unwanted hair from the body) + torture (the act of inflicting excruciating pain, as punishment or revenge, as a means of getting a confession or information, or for sheer cruelty)

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Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: band-rage

Sentence: In a study it was found that 97% of male patients suffered bandrage on removal of dressings and plasters. Typical symptoms include flinching, swearing and crying, followed by flushed cheeks and mumbling.

Etymology: bandage (surgical dressing) + rage (hysterical fury, anger)

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Created by: gautambarathwaj

Pronunciation: Pronunced as "Ah! Pain"

Sentence: He faced ahpain while removing the plasters,post surgery

Etymology: Just the usual scream of "Ah! Pain" modified here

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Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: rip/per/mor/tis

Sentence: Deathly afraid of rippermortis and the possibility of embarrassing himself by crying like a baby, John had convinced himself and others that he was just a very slow healer, very prone to infection, and in need of wearing bandaids until they fell off on their own accord.

Etymology: Derived from rigor mortis: A medical condition that occurs after death and results in the stiffening of muscle mass.

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COMMENTS:

Hahahahaa..."fell off on their own accord"...good one! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-29: 02:03:00

Jack the Ripper lives. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-30: 05:41:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rip ill a toree

Sentence: Gavin was such a big baby about anything medical. No wonder men didn't have the babies or the human race would have died out long ago. He fainted at the sight of blood, so Blood Bank donations were nightmares for him. The way he told it, getting a blood test was a major psychological drama for him. He'd had no choice...doctor's orders. Get that blood test or else! Gavin summoned what little courage he had and had the blood work done. He pressed the cotton ball on the spot and when it was deemed safe, the nurse put a bandage on the afflicted area. He was told in an hour he could remove the bandage. Sure enough, an hour later, he talked his wife into gently please removing the bandaid. Naturally, the revenge she felt for all his crybaby acts was strong, so she pulled it off fast and nasty. The ripillatory agony he experienced was only surpassed by the phone call from the lab, saying they'd accidentally dropped his blood vials and he would have to return in the morning for retests! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Etymology: rip (to tear or be torn violently;the act of rending or splitting something) & ill (an often persistent bodily disorder or disease; a cause for complaining)& depilatory (something used to remove hair;able to remove hair or render hairless)

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COMMENTS:

Ripping yarn, Nosila...I like the way you worked the revenge angle in...LOL - metrohumanx, 2008-07-29: 01:54:00

Bloody ripping yarn. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-30: 05:45:00

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Created by: delmundo

Pronunciation: ban-dag-o-knee

Sentence: Children are the primary sufferers of bandagony, as the dirty little buggers are always soiling their sterile adhesive strips.

Etymology: Bandagony - n. a combination form of band-aid (an adhesive surgical strip) + agony (hurts like hell).

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: RAP-ih-DEE-pill-AAAAH-gunny (try it a few times fast)

Sentence: Mister Martindale had a very unremarkable wound- merely an irritation of the skin caused by his misguided attempts to defuse a noxolene germ bomb in his basement. He applied the largest adhesive bandage he could find and all seemed well until he asked Lulu to remove it from his forearm. Forearmed with the knowledge that RAPID removal was the preferred method of painless revelation, Lulu gripped the bandage and gritted her artificially whitened yet still appealing teeth. Mr Martindale was sweating like a piece of rancid pork, for he knew what awaited him.....................RAPIDEPILAGONY! It lasted but a nanosecond, but was like de-velcroizing the Wolfman. With tears in his eyes, Mr Martindale pulled Lulu to his chest and they gazed, stupefied, at the offending ex-bandage which looked like a cross between a steel wool pad and a giant mutant flatworm. "I'll NEVER do that again..." said Mr Martindale." I can't take the RAPIDEPILAGONY !" ....And now about that hangnail.....

Etymology: RAPID+DEPILATE+AGONY rapid:fast , quickly..... depilate:the removal of hair, wool, or bristles by chemical or mechanical methods (latin)..... agony:severe or excruciating pain

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COMMENTS:

Superabsorbent pre-sliced EMPRESS stringettes available at: http://www.martindalecenter.com/ Thank You. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-29: 01:49:00

Always zany and entertaining; nice "feel" about the word too. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-29: 08:17:00

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Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: hurt/soot

Sentence: Jane took great pleasure in ripping the plaster off my chest. It hurtsute like hell!

Etymology: hurts (painful) + hirsute (hairy)

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-06: 11:35:00

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Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: locks-er-ay-shun

Sentence: The next door neighbors asked about the screams they heard last night from my house. The truth was I suffered from a sever lockeration, but I exaggerated a bit... and told them a bear snook in my house.

Etymology: Locks (hair) + laceration (a tear in skin)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fee las to plast

Sentence: Edwin was a big wuss when it came to pain. He could feelastoplast every hair pulled by its roots off his arm by the bandage. He was such a baby about it that his wife Jane took great pleasure in making the pain last as long as possible. She thought that the Human Race would have died out long ago if it were up to men like Edwin to give birth...

Etymology: Feel (perceive by a physical sensation, e.g., coming from the skin or muscles) & Elastoplast ( an elastic adhesive bandage for covering cuts or wounds)

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