Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mawk sen it tee

Sentence: Mrs. Beach, the English teacher hated profanity and forbade her students from using any of these words in her classroom. Kids being kids in today's society of course cannot speak without cursing. To keep from being expelled and yet express his youthful dramatics, one brain surgeon in her class found a solution. He developed the mockscenity code. When he wanted to use a curse word, he had to substitute the first letter of that word with a "p" and if the first letter was a vowel, he just put the p in front of it. Pam, it worked like a pitch. It knocked the phit out of bad-sounding words and before long the whole ploody class was using it, pell yes. Mrs. Beach however had been a decryptor with the CIA before she retired to teaching and announced one morning, loudly, "The puck stops here!"

Etymology: Mock (a copy or imitation of something; imitate with mockery and derision) & Obscenity (an offensive or indecent word or phrase)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fo kuss

Sentence: Dr.Seemore Glasses was an optometrist and normally a man of vision. Born a Presbyopic, he'd rather ride the cataracts than attend Church or Temple. He was short-sighted in one aspect: he was afraid to make a spectacle of himself in front of his clients. Although it sounded cornea, he hated to swear in front of them. He would tell them he needed to fauxcuss, when they did or said something stupid. One fellow kept making an astigmatism of himself, so Dr. Seemore stopped seeing him, before their macular degenerated anymore. Through his contacts, the doctor also teaches at the university and lens his experience to the newbies. Unfortunately, the boring nature of eye topics often made his pupils dilate. One day he fauxcussed on his lovely assistant, Iris,who he claimed was untidy, blind to messes and kept their office like a sty. She in turn accused Dr. Seemore of ogling her. Although it later turned out that she was bipolarized and also binocular, she pressed charges. As the police led away the good Dr.Seemore, he was heard to yell, "I've been framed!"

Etymology: Faux (not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article) & Cuss (profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger;utter obscenities or profanities)

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - Mustang, 2008-05-08: 07:45:00

best word this month!! - galwaywegian, 2008-05-08: 12:13:00

The story alone is worth a vote! - pieceof314, 2008-05-08: 14:05:00

wow - so many good words today - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-08: 14:22:00

Spot on - Love it! - Tigger, 2008-05-08: 18:59:00

Excellent. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-08: 19:35:00

My fave - arrrteest, 2008-05-08: 22:39:00

I'd like to thank the members of the Academy...Cheers All! - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:09:00

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Created by: verbherder

Pronunciation: els-swair

Sentence: Howie Mandel always uses vulgarities, but Ed Begley Jr. speaks like a saint. Elseswears come out of his mouth in place of curse words even when he's talking about Mark Harmon and Denzel Washington.

Etymology: else (in some other way) + swear (To use profane oaths; curse)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ill-LUDE

Sentence: Shane had a sick sense of humor and even in everyday conversation he'd take every opportunity to use substitute words to illewd to very trashy and disgusting language.

Etymology: blend of ill and lewd, play on the word 'allude'

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COMMENTS:

Shane was lewdicrous! - Nosila, 2009-06-22: 18:13:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: sŭb'tər-fēm'

Sentence: "GOT DANDRUFF, SOMEOFITITCHES!" Grandpa shouted his well-known subterpheme, as he bonked his thumb with the ball-peen hammer for the third time.

Etymology: 'sub,' short for underwater marine vessel, also used to describe an oversized sandwich served on long bread; 'terph,' alt. of turf, locale where one finds one's homies; 'eme,' collapsed form of e-me, avatar used as an on-line representation of oneself.

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: rhymes with purse

Sentence: While reading Huck Finn in his 8th grade class, we had to blurse all the racial slurs replacing "n*****" with "no gooder".

Etymology: bleep+curse

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: poooooo fem isum

Sentence: She let out a string of poophemisms that included a banker, a brickhead and several ducks

Etymology: euphemism, poo

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: you-feck-miz-m

Sentence: Gordon Ramsay's kitchen nightmares had to be dubbed with eupheckmisms before it could be screened on the family viewing channel.

Etymology: euphemism (word or phrase used to stand in for a taboo word, or topic that is unpleasant to talk about) + feck (irish eupheckmism for the f word)

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COMMENTS:

Good one, petaj...Gordon Ramsay was a feckin' eejit long before it was fashionable to be so... - Nosila, 2008-05-08: 23:19:00

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: al - lu - ded

Sentence: Olive often allewded to lewd and vulger words by subtituting them with wholesome sounding happy phrases.... It was extremely difficult to say with certainty what her real intentions were but she definitely got her point accross.

Etymology: alluded (made a disguised reference to), lewd

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - Mustang, 2009-06-23: 00:44:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pro fan it tees

Sentence: Rudy would always use profanitease instead of the words he really wanted to use. He put the cur in curse. When asked to repreat his bad words, he would inevitably re-word his remarks with different meaning words.

Etymology: Profanity (vulgar or irreverent speech or action) & Tease (to arouse hope, desire, or curiosity without satisfying them)

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