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'Check your lipstick Madge'

DEFINITION: n. A person who habitually looks for love in the all the wrong places and wonders why it always turns out wrong. v. To look for love in the wrong places.

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Verboticisms

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Heiferafter

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hef er aft er

Sentence: It was obvious that Madge and Dodie were heiferafter in their search for true love. They were steered in the direction of a meet market and met two young longhorns oxendentally,who were bovine, but uninterested in getting yoked.

Etymology: Heifer (young cow) & Everafter (from here to Eternity)

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Chairub

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: chair-ub

Sentence: Cupid's arrow had struck her, right through the heart. From now on there was only one serial killer for her and it was Ivan. His scarred shaven head and crazy eyes made her weak at the knees. She was his chairub and she fought hard to save him from the chair, despite the 11 witnesses who saw his axe wielding escapade. Her scented love letters were the last thing he would read, before his eyeballs boiled and exploded from the 2000 volt current that would pass through his oddly shaped head.

Etymology: 1.cherub - an angelic baby eg Cupid the Roman God of erotic love. 2. chair (electric) - a device used for capital punishment for the most heinous crimes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! Also plays on RUB, meaning difficulty or dilemma.. - readerwriter, 2009-02-11: 10:30:00

Electtrifying! Shocking! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:41:00

What a sentence! Too bad it couldn't have been commuted...where is that Governor when you need him? - Nosila, 2009-02-14: 23:19:00

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Romanthick

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row man thik

Sentence: The romanthick in him knew he would finally meeet his queen as soon as he landed in Africa, maybe even before he got to collect his lottery winnings there!

Etymology: romantic, thick

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Loveloined

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv loynd

Sentence: Nothing was sadder than Elsie and Bessie,the Bovine Sisters, a pair of loveloined heifers. Their success at attracting true love was terribull...there had been no chance of oxtasy for them. They were always steered in the wrong direction and although they played the field, literally, they were never stampeded by suitors. They decided to join an on-loin dating service on their cowmputers. They only had one beef with this service, it was udderly impossibull to find a young stud who told the truth and did not shoot the bull. These mavericks were always born a "Taurus", owned their own spread and would love to be a fodder. Their names turned out not to be Angus or Delmonico, but Chuck or Stew. Any success the sisters had with this service was strictly oxcidental. When she herd what they had done, their mother had warned them that Internet dating always ended in steers.

Etymology: lovelorn (unhappy in love; suffering from unrequited love) & loin (a cut of meat taken from the side and back of an animal between the ribs and the rump)

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COMMENTS:

Udderly Puntastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:26:00

Gives a whole new meaning to beefcake! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:37:00

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Romanthick

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row man ts ihk

Sentence: Henry o' Tosis was such a romanthick, he couldn't score at a wallpaperer's convention. His chat-up lines had filled many emergency rooms with suspected vomiting epidemics. His lack of success with the fairer sex was always a mystery and a torment to his mother, with whom he lived. She would often scold him angrily, while swiping wildly about the room with her white stick.

Etymology: romantic , thick as in stupid

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COMMENTS:

poor Henry - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:41:00

sticking in through romanthin and romanthick! Love the play on Henry for Hal O' Tosis. Kudos for being most crafty! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 12:08:00

the wallpaper convention is certainly thick with sticky romance I bet! - mweinmann, 2009-02-12: 09:13:00

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Stalkmarket

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stok mar ket

Sentence: When Bessie and Clarabelle were looking for dates, they went to the local stalkmarket. It never worked as their chosen dates turned it into a night of whine and roses. Where could they find love that would allow them to live happily heifer after?

Etymology: Stalk (the act of following prey stealthily) & Stock Market(an exchange where security trading is conducted by professional stockbrokers) & Meat Market(not just an actual shop for selling meat, but slang for a bar where people pick up each other)

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Romanthick

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row man th ik

Sentence: his romanthick streak left him with a broken heart, two missing teeth and a black eye

Etymology: romantic, thick

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COMMENTS:

desthpicable!love it - Nosila, 2010-08-25: 22:07:00

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Hatingagency

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Hay-ting-ay-gen-see

Sentence: Since May's husband died 16 years ago, she had been all alone. Desperate for love she asked her friend's advice and she suggested joining a dating agency. Unfortunately May's advancing years had left her a little deaf and she joined a hatingagency instead. She didn't find love but she started to enjoy the animosity between her and the other members of this unique club.

Etymology: Play on Dating Agency

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COMMENTS:

funny take on the definition - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:40:00

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Maidenchoice

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mādnchois

Sentence: Joice always seems to make the maidenchoice. She always seems to make decisions that keep her from meeting guys. Whether it's where she lives, between two retirement communities or her job in the morgue, she rarely finds herself in a position to meet anyone datable. The last handsome young man she saw in person was very cold, laying on a stainless steel table. The ugly hole in his head was a major deterrent to a night on the town.

Etymology: maiden (a girl or young woman, esp. an unmarried one) + choice (an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities)

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COMMENTS:

Does that mean that all the young women who live on Maiden Choice Lane won't find suiters? - otherguy, 2009-02-11: 07:28:00

or suitors... :-) - wayoffcenter, 2009-02-11: 07:59:00

Yes she's in a job where there is stiff competition to find a live one...especially with that co-worker of hers, Myra Mains! - Nosila, 2009-02-12: 00:39:00

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Loveprowlerr

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: luvprowler

Sentence: Mimi wiggled her pink nose. She immediately recognized Ted as the loveprowlerr he had become; he could only bear to skulk the outer regions of the woods in which bearly any of his kind still lived. Ted habitually came down and out onto the meadow every day, loveprowlerring for fearful creatures he mistakenly grew fond feelings for. Mimi trembled, keeping close to her log home, as she watched Ted tilt his head in earnest regard her. (Would she be his lover or his dinner?)!

Etymology: loveprowlerr n. From the words prowl, lover and err. It means one who prowls, instintively searches (not knowing why) for love but errs, make errors of judgement.

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Comments:

silveryaspen - 2009-02-11: 12:33:00
Really enjoyed today's definition, James. It inspired such a remarkable variety of clever verbotomies,

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-11: 22:33:00
Thanks Silveryaspen! After reading the words today, it looks like a few of us have fell victim to blunderlust! I guess there is more than a few romanthick libidohnos among us. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-08-25: 00:12:00
Today's definition was suggested by verbotomy. Thank you verbotomy. ~ James