Verboticisms

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Hay-ting-ay-gen-see

Sentence: Since May's husband died 16 years ago, she had been all alone. Desperate for love she asked her friend's advice and she suggested joining a dating agency. Unfortunately May's advancing years had left her a little deaf and she joined a hatingagency instead. She didn't find love but she started to enjoy the animosity between her and the other members of this unique club.

Etymology: Play on Dating Agency

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COMMENTS:

funny take on the definition - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:40:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: wood/wooed louse sited

Sentence: Honey Bunny looked on-yon world wide web for love. She searched walla to walla for a sweet one. Vid Alia, turned out to be a gorgin'. Chives was a bit too green. Sal Ad was a bit too red. Maui was a bit too far away. French Fryde turned yellow and ran away. So many were Rap Scallions. Honey Bunny finally realized, looking for love on the endearnet, oops, I mean the interknot, was very wooedlousesited!

Etymology: WOOED, LOUSE is a play on woodlouse. SIGHT/SITE. Wooed - actions taken when looking for love. Louse - undesirable bug, also slang for an undesiraable man. Sight - to use the eyes to look and see. Site - internet locations/domains. ..................... 'on yon' is another way to say onion. Now the following word plays on the names of onions might make better sense.

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COMMENTS:

This week I seem to have a wiled hare ..... everyday. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:46:00

thyme is a great healer - galwaywegian, 2009-02-11: 04:31:00

I think you're having too much fun with this. :) - kateinkorea, 2009-02-11: 09:40:00

I keep thinking of Easter instead of Valentine's Day - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:43:00

Thanks for spicing it up a notch, galwaywegian. You are absolutely right, kateinkorea. Oh, Jabberwocky, so am I! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:26:00

Your story has apeel, oh Lady of Shallot! It made my eyes leek. - Nosila, 2009-02-12: 00:35:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row man thik

Sentence: The romanthick in him knew he would finally meeet his queen as soon as he landed in Africa, maybe even before he got to collect his lottery winnings there!

Etymology: romantic, thick

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv loynd

Sentence: Nothing was sadder than Elsie and Bessie,the Bovine Sisters, a pair of loveloined heifers. Their success at attracting true love was terribull...there had been no chance of oxtasy for them. They were always steered in the wrong direction and although they played the field, literally, they were never stampeded by suitors. They decided to join an on-loin dating service on their cowmputers. They only had one beef with this service, it was udderly impossibull to find a young stud who told the truth and did not shoot the bull. These mavericks were always born a "Taurus", owned their own spread and would love to be a fodder. Their names turned out not to be Angus or Delmonico, but Chuck or Stew. Any success the sisters had with this service was strictly oxcidental. When she herd what they had done, their mother had warned them that Internet dating always ended in steers.

Etymology: lovelorn (unhappy in love; suffering from unrequited love) & loin (a cut of meat taken from the side and back of an animal between the ribs and the rump)

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COMMENTS:

Udderly Puntastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:26:00

Gives a whole new meaning to beefcake! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:37:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: row man ts ihk

Sentence: Henry o' Tosis was such a romanthick, he couldn't score at a wallpaperer's convention. His chat-up lines had filled many emergency rooms with suspected vomiting epidemics. His lack of success with the fairer sex was always a mystery and a torment to his mother, with whom he lived. She would often scold him angrily, while swiping wildly about the room with her white stick.

Etymology: romantic , thick as in stupid

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COMMENTS:

poor Henry - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:41:00

sticking in through romanthin and romanthick! Love the play on Henry for Hal O' Tosis. Kudos for being most crafty! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 12:08:00

the wallpaper convention is certainly thick with sticky romance I bet! - mweinmann, 2009-02-12: 09:13:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: skôrnikāted

Sentence: After his blind date fell through — some lame excuse about a car accident and coma — Tim decided to see if he could get some action at the new bar in town. As he entered he thought to himself ”My lucky night. Must be lady’s night, the place is full of chicks”. As he made his way around the bar every eye seemed to follow him as well as a mood of disgust. Finally he left the Silver Beaver without scoring but feeling scornicated.

Etymology: scorn (feel or express contempt or derision for) + fornicate (sexual intercourse between non-married partners)

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COMMENTS:

Silver Beaver...Dam! - Nosila, 2010-08-25: 22:08:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stok mar ket

Sentence: When Bessie and Clarabelle were looking for dates, they went to the local stalkmarket. It never worked as their chosen dates turned it into a night of whine and roses. Where could they find love that would allow them to live happily heifer after?

Etymology: Stalk (the act of following prey stealthily) & Stock Market(an exchange where security trading is conducted by professional stockbrokers) & Meat Market(not just an actual shop for selling meat, but slang for a bar where people pick up each other)

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Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Proff-lee-date

Sentence: Dave will never find love while he continues to be proflidate. Sharon realized that proflidating was getting her nowhere.

Etymology: From dating (To go on a date or dates with) and profligate (adj. unrestrained by convention or morality; "Congreve draws a debauched aristocratic society"; "deplorably dissipated and degraded"; "riotous living"; "fast women") AND (noun. someone who dissipates resources self-indulgently or a wasteful person)

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Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: chair-ub

Sentence: Cupid's arrow had struck her, right through the heart. From now on there was only one serial killer for her and it was Ivan. His scarred shaven head and crazy eyes made her weak at the knees. She was his chairub and she fought hard to save him from the chair, despite the 11 witnesses who saw his axe wielding escapade. Her scented love letters were the last thing he would read, before his eyeballs boiled and exploded from the 2000 volt current that would pass through his oddly shaped head.

Etymology: 1.cherub - an angelic baby eg Cupid the Roman God of erotic love. 2. chair (electric) - a device used for capital punishment for the most heinous crimes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! Also plays on RUB, meaning difficulty or dilemma.. - readerwriter, 2009-02-11: 10:30:00

Electtrifying! Shocking! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:41:00

What a sentence! Too bad it couldn't have been commuted...where is that Governor when you need him? - Nosila, 2009-02-14: 23:19:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mādnchois

Sentence: Joice always seems to make the maidenchoice. She always seems to make decisions that keep her from meeting guys. Whether it's where she lives, between two retirement communities or her job in the morgue, she rarely finds herself in a position to meet anyone datable. The last handsome young man she saw in person was very cold, laying on a stainless steel table. The ugly hole in his head was a major deterrent to a night on the town.

Etymology: maiden (a girl or young woman, esp. an unmarried one) + choice (an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities)

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COMMENTS:

Does that mean that all the young women who live on Maiden Choice Lane won't find suiters? - otherguy, 2009-02-11: 07:28:00

or suitors... :-) - wayoffcenter, 2009-02-11: 07:59:00

Yes she's in a job where there is stiff competition to find a live one...especially with that co-worker of hers, Myra Mains! - Nosila, 2009-02-12: 00:39:00

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