Verboticisms

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: mad/vice

Sentence: Yeah he was at it again. Dad, flappin' his chops about how he "had to walk a mile to school in the snow," "shine shoes for lunch money" and "wear grandpa's suit jacket to his 8th grade graduation." Patrick learned to tune both Dad AND Mom out the day he realized they were offering nothing but useless madvice once they started digging into their, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE" files.

Etymology: mad + advice. Parents short fuse when it comes to their "spoiled brats" whining...

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COMMENTS:

Amen...but of course we do the same things to our own kids...When I was in school, talk about computers was pure science fiction...why they had barely invented tv's or phones that weren't party lines! Cheers,lumina - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:08:00

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Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Just eat it kid.

Sentence: My mom's limabeanery had become so overwhelming that I had to move out of the ouse because I ran with the flippin' scissors.

Etymology: Lima Beans + Your Mom + My irrational fear

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Created by: ericsimmons39

Pronunciation: Pam-bee-a

Sentence: Mom and Dad keep telling me to eat my vegetables or I'll turn into a license plate. I'm so sick of all their pambea!

Etymology: Parental+ Advice+ Meaningless+ But+ Emotionally+ Affecting

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /mith-kon-dukt/

Sentence: Donna stared wistfully at her friends splashing in the pool, and glanced up at the clock again — it'd been only 53 minutes since she'd eaten that banana — seven more minutes before she could go back in the pool. Her mother had warned her many times that going into the water less than an hour after eating would inevitably cause cramps, which were somehow always fatal. 'Would she die from drowning or from the cramps themselves?' she wondered. What if she just dangled her legs in the water? No, it was just too risky. She couldn't overcome the mythconduct her mother had instilled into her. Six minutes and forty five seconds to go...

Etymology: Myth - any invented story, idea, or concept (from Greek, mythos "speech, story") + Conduct - personal behavior; way of acting (from Latin, conductus "to lead or bring together")

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COMMENTS:

I always doubted this prohibition. I even sent it in to "Mythbusters"....to no avail. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:00:00

Well, Mythbusters did prove that you shouldn't spin around in a makeshift wirlpool too soon after eating pizza. Funny episode. But I'm convinced that the 1-hour 'no swimming' rule is nonsense. But I knew kids whose mothers wouldn't even let them stand in the wading pool because of that rule. - Tigger, 2008-08-29: 10:12:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-08-29: 13:43:00

Welcome back, Tigger, we mythed you! - Nosila, 2008-08-29: 20:09:00

This one is my favorite, well done! - Rehlit, 2008-09-01: 00:50:00

Good word there Tigger, it has a nice ring to it! I like the way you think :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:07:00

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈmæləpro(ʊ)ˌskɹɪpʃən/

Sentence: Most new parents promise themselves that they'll always be open and honest with their children, but each time they are asked "Why not?", the probability of the birth of a new malaproscription increases.

Etymology: from malapropism + proscription

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: lor/war/ning

Sentence: Lorewarning is the practice of raising children by indoctrinating them with urban legends.

Etymology: lore (myths, folklore) + forewarning

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COMMENTS:

Alligators in the sewers? - metrohumanx, 2008-08-29: 06:06:00

Witches eat little kids who don't go to bed on time? - lumina, 2008-08-29: 15:33:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pol tree guyst

Sentence: Chickenita Bantama had a hard time persuading her youngest chick,Henny Youngman, to eat his feed. She finally had to resort to scare tactics and told him the tale of the poultrygeist. It was a scary ghost chicken that came after little chicks that did not eat up their supper. It worked for her, even if some thought it was fowl play...Happy Halloween!

Etymology: Poultry (a domesticated gallinaceous bird) & Poltergeist (a ghost that announces its presence with rapping and the creation of disorder)

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COMMENTS:

LOVING YOUR STORIES - DrWebsterIII, 2012-10-31: 11:24:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: emboŏlshitishmənt

Sentence: Billy grew in a world of embullshitishment. His parents would tell him **Step on a crack and you*ll break your mother*s back**. **Eat your vegetables or the dog will eat your foot**. The world can only wait to see how he will encourage his own children.

Etymology: embellishment (a decorative detail or feature added to something to make it more attractive) + bullshit (stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense)

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COMMENTS:

tee-hee! - mrskellyscl, 2010-01-20: 06:26:00

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: im-prov-erbz

Sentence: my parents kept us in line with a never ending stream of improverbs

Etymology: improv, proverbs

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COMMENTS:

Evcellent! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-28: 07:42:00

Fantastic words- Just what those mischievous imps need! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-30: 18:02:00

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Created by: Rehlit

Pronunciation: kaw-sham

Sentence: Many parents use an insidious causham to frighten their naughty children. Such as "If you eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in your stomach!"

Etymology: Caution(a warning against danger or evil; anything serving as a warning) + sham (something that is not what it purports to be; a spurious imitation; fraud or hoax; pretended; counterfeit; feigned:)

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