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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Clejerk

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: cluh-JURK

Sentence: Alex dropped his job as soon as he discovered he was required to be a clejerk, squirting cologne at people.

Etymology: Someone who begins coming off like a clerk and ends up being more a jerk.

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Guestopo

whipspeak

Created by: whipspeak

Pronunciation: geh-stah-poh

Sentence: The dealership was crawling with Guestopo and I had to get out of there before I was spotted. They have ways of making you buy.

Etymology: Gestapo: the German state secret police during the Nazi regime + Guest: visitor or patron + stop: to interrupt, arrest, or check

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Pusherman

Created by: BemaSelf

Pronunciation: Push-r-man

Sentence: I can't stand that store. The pusherman always makes me rush to buy something.

Etymology: Pusher, Man

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Emnnoyee

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: em - NOI - ee

Sentence: Though Gilbert is a real good friend of mine, I have to admit that he was being a total emnnoyee when he kept asking me if I was going to get that jacket or not. I've said "Maybe" a thousand times and I swear he said "Are you taking that jacket?" a million more times. I could have sworn he was just being an ass just because that jacket I was trying on was the jacket he stashandcarried a month ago and worked hard for in that shop. Now, that makes me think. He wasn't being an ass by being a totally sucky emnnoyee... it was me who was the ass! I feel like I'm getting to know Gilbert and his emnnoyeeness more with this rational sentence construction.

Etymology: employee (someone who works for) + annoy (to disturb or bother in an irritating way)

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COMMENTS:

A totally annoying sentence! Good job! - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-16: 12:04:00

ohwtepph Or ENNOYEE would also work. Darn, it's just one of those late ideas! - ohwtepph, 2007-05-16: 21:24:00

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Shopcreeper

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Shawp-kreep-err

Sentence: That shopcreeper was pushing me way too much. I grabbed that stupid block of cheese he was trying to sell me and shoved it right in his mouth. He now sells basketballs because he knows no one can stuff those in his mouth... I proved him wrong.

Etymology: Shopkeeper (owner of a shop that sells goods) + creep (an annoying and detestable person)

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COMMENTS:

I already gave my vote to peddlarpusher, but this is even better. - cohenarie, 2007-05-16: 10:51:00

Nice one. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:55:00

great ...awesome - pguse, 2007-06-01: 14:00:00

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Rackwhore

Created by: yaknowmay

Pronunciation: rack-whore

Sentence: the rack whore in MACYS, did everything but drop to her knees, trying to get that sales commision

Etymology:

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Salesgrater

Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: SALES-grey-ter

Sentence: I was all excited to look at the latest styles they got in last week - but then their salesgrater started following me around and I had to get out of there.

Etymology: Sales (as in salesperson) + Grate (to annoy or rub the wrong way.. also a play on the standard 'sales-greeter' label for sales people charged with greeting every customer')

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Antisalesalot

Created by: kensiesfate

Pronunciation: Anti-sales-a-lot

Sentence: look over at antisalesalot, he's pushed another out the door!

Etymology:

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Harasshat

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: huh-RAS-hat

Sentence: As she made her way to the front of the bookstore, Gilda was cornered by resident harasshat Caleb, who wasted at least five minutes of her day calmly reassuring her that he'd been reading Baudrillard.

Etymology: harass + asshat

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COMMENTS:

love it love it love it - iwasatripwire, 2007-05-16: 12:37:00

I really need to start using this one, because I seem to run into a few each day. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:49:00

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Salesassassin

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

petaj That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James