Verboticisms

Created by: Guthlaf1

Pronunciation: komm-ISS-tant

Sentence: I hadn't been in the shop ten seconds before the young commistant started making my day miserable.

Etymology: From: commission + (sales) assistant

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Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: "push" like in push + "inator" like in terminator.

Sentence: At first sight i thought he would just be an average standard legal pusher, then i had to realise that he was at least one of those new powerpusher models, but when i tried to leave the shop he showed his real potential and i finally came to the only rational conclusion left: he was the Pushinator.

Etymology: Pusher + Terminator = Pushinator.

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Created by: daisy

Pronunciation: ree-tail-i-ton

Sentence: The retailiton followed us around the circle K as if we were going to steal something.

Etymology:

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: vul-tsur-OH-so

Sentence: When new customers would come into the showroom Ronald would become a smooth operting vulturoso and would pounce on the prospect with high pressure tactics and almost always succeeded in getting a sale.

Etymology: Blend of the words 'vulture' (n. 2. A person of a rapacious, predatory, or profiteering nature) and 'virtuoso' (n. 1. a person who has special knowledge or skill in a field)

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Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: sam-pull-ass-alt

Sentence: She left the store rather than be subjected to samplassault again.

Etymology: sample - small portion of item assault - attempt to force a person

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: shopper-block-it

Sentence: I was mad keen to cash in my coupon for the low-rise, stretch, stonewash, studded, stovepipe legged jeans at half-price, but when I reached the store I cowered in the doorway before the salesresistant. There was Ursula, a shopperblockit par excellence with her stentorian voice and sergeant-major mannerisms bearing down on me.

Etymology: shopper docket (sales promotions printed on the back of receipts) + block (obstruct/hinder)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o ver selz us

Sentence: The guy was everywhere. We were grocery shopping, in the produce aisle, when this geeky associate thrusts a box of strawberries at us and says, "Try these, they're berry nice!" We demer, but he's back 2 minutes later with green onions, saying, "Repeat after me, I'm the Italian Scallion!" He then shows us a potato ("Don't his eyes have a peel?") and a husk of corn ("Meet the kernel, he's all ears.") Finally, "Orange you as glad as I yam that you decided to turnip in my department?" and finally, "It's bean great to "C" you, you're hard to beet!" "Do you wanna date?"... At that point, I snapped and said, "Lettuce see what your Store Manager has to say about your oversellsus behavior!" To which the Store Manager replied, "Don't worry about Romaine, cos he's just trying to get a head. When he's not taking a leek here, he goes to comedy school as a caper. He wants to earn a higher celery and get a plum job. I just can't squash his dreams!"

Etymology: Overzealous (marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea) & Over (too much) & Sells Us (persuade somebody to accept something; do business; offer for sale as for one's livelihood;deliver to an enemy by treachery)

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COMMENTS:

overclever! - mweinmann, 2009-12-01: 07:50:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2009-12-01: 09:48:00

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ann-tee-shawp-pest

Sentence: If Rudy saw any antishoppests around he would hide in the changeroom until the coast was clear.

Etymology: anti-shop-pest

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Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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