Verboticisms

Created by: Scattercat

Pronunciation: sehr-VILL-en

Sentence: I've never been so annoyed in my life! That servillain has ruined that store for me forever.

Etymology: Servile means behaving in a fawning, obsequious manner. A villain is one who performs evil acts. Driving away potential customers through misguided devotion to the sanctity of the store seems an adequate summary of those two traits combined.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kləjərk

Sentence: Jody did a quick lap around the store to find the few items she needed trailed by the worst clejerk she had ever encountered. His ”May I help you?” came across more as an accusation than an offer of help. With a quick ”No, thank you” to keep him at bay, she grabbed what she needed and headed back to the front of the store only to be accosted in the checklout line. ”Are you sure that’s your size?”

Etymology: clerk (an assistant who sells goods in a retail store) + jerk (a contemptibly obnoxious person)

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Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: com-mission-ary

Sentence: David is a blood thirsty commissionary, attacking any unsuspecting customer that might stroll into his section at the electonics store. His tactics are ruthless, just to make the "sale" and get the commission.

Etymology: commission/missionary, as in propagator of religion or a relentless soldier

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he always assumes the commissionary position - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-16: 12:29:00

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Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: SALES-grey-ter

Sentence: I was all excited to look at the latest styles they got in last week - but then their salesgrater started following me around and I had to get out of there.

Etymology: Sales (as in salesperson) + Grate (to annoy or rub the wrong way.. also a play on the standard 'sales-greeter' label for sales people charged with greeting every customer')

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ann-tee-shawp-pest

Sentence: If Rudy saw any antishoppests around he would hide in the changeroom until the coast was clear.

Etymology: anti-shop-pest

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Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Tired of being trailed round the store by counterassistants, Ed resolved from that moment to do all his shopping online in his underwear and eating pizza , free to scratch himself and 'look a bit too scruffy for Jenners' to his heart's content.

Etymology: Someone offering counter-productive assistance (Counter + assistance, with a nod in the direction of persistent)

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COMMENTS:

It rolls from the tongue lightly... - Scattercat, 2007-05-20: 19:34:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sales-jerk

Sentence: The salesjerk at the car dealership turned the big "Sellabration" into "sellabrasion" when he kept trying to sell me a gargantuan gas guzzler that was painted green that he wanted to get rid of, even after I told him I wanted a "green car" to help the environment.

Etymology: wordplay on salesclerk -- jerk: foolish, rude or contemptible person

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COMMENTS:

Like sellabrasion too! - artr, 2009-12-01: 07:05:00

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Created by: texmom

Pronunciation: sam-pull-ass-alt

Sentence: She left the store rather than be subjected to samplassault again.

Etymology: sample - small portion of item assault - attempt to force a person

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