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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Emnnoyee

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: em - NOI - ee

Sentence: Though Gilbert is a real good friend of mine, I have to admit that he was being a total emnnoyee when he kept asking me if I was going to get that jacket or not. I've said "Maybe" a thousand times and I swear he said "Are you taking that jacket?" a million more times. I could have sworn he was just being an ass just because that jacket I was trying on was the jacket he stashandcarried a month ago and worked hard for in that shop. Now, that makes me think. He wasn't being an ass by being a totally sucky emnnoyee... it was me who was the ass! I feel like I'm getting to know Gilbert and his emnnoyeeness more with this rational sentence construction.

Etymology: employee (someone who works for) + annoy (to disturb or bother in an irritating way)

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COMMENTS:

A totally annoying sentence! Good job! - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-16: 12:04:00

ohwtepph Or ENNOYEE would also work. Darn, it's just one of those late ideas! - ohwtepph, 2007-05-16: 21:24:00

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Servillain

Created by: Scattercat

Pronunciation: sehr-VILL-en

Sentence: I've never been so annoyed in my life! That servillain has ruined that store for me forever.

Etymology: Servile means behaving in a fawning, obsequious manner. A villain is one who performs evil acts. Driving away potential customers through misguided devotion to the sanctity of the store seems an adequate summary of those two traits combined.

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Commisher

Created by: DaddiezGyrl

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The commisher bombarded me as I entered the store.

Etymology: Combo of commission and pusher

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Salesreptile

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: SALES rep tile

Sentence: The slimy salesreptile stalked me like a crocodile who has realized that a delicious juicy fawn is drinking at the edge of the water. I felt him coming before I actually saw him. Then, like the crocodile, only his eyes appeared over the clothes racks. Like the fawn, I skittered away as he approached, pretending to take an important call which I could only hear by leaving the store.

Etymology: sales rep + reptile

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COMMENTS:

Good story...his prices were probably too deer anyway! - Nosila, 2009-12-01: 20:07:00

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Shopcreeper

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Shawp-kreep-err

Sentence: That shopcreeper was pushing me way too much. I grabbed that stupid block of cheese he was trying to sell me and shoved it right in his mouth. He now sells basketballs because he knows no one can stuff those in his mouth... I proved him wrong.

Etymology: Shopkeeper (owner of a shop that sells goods) + creep (an annoying and detestable person)

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COMMENTS:

I already gave my vote to peddlarpusher, but this is even better. - cohenarie, 2007-05-16: 10:51:00

Nice one. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:55:00

great ...awesome - pguse, 2007-06-01: 14:00:00

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Oncommissioner

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ohn komm ish yun err

Sentence: he was so obviously an oncommissioner, his nose would start to twitch even before the customer had opened the door.

Etymology: co commission, commissioner

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Keendean

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: keen-deen

Sentence: OMG, he was such a keendean that I legged it out the shop as soon as he turned his back. Keendeans are such a pain in the arse. They make me uncomfortable.

Etymology: Keen - eager, enthusiastic Dean - male name

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Counterassistant

Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Tired of being trailed round the store by counterassistants, Ed resolved from that moment to do all his shopping online in his underwear and eating pizza , free to scratch himself and 'look a bit too scruffy for Jenners' to his heart's content.

Etymology: Someone offering counter-productive assistance (Counter + assistance, with a nod in the direction of persistent)

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COMMENTS:

It rolls from the tongue lightly... - Scattercat, 2007-05-20: 19:34:00

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Sirenade

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Floorstalker

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: floor/stalk/er

Sentence: Commissioned salespeople are licensed floorstalkers who creep me out of the store.

Etymology: floorwalker + stalker

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James