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'Nothing clever to say?'

DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.

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Verboticisms

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Retortoise

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: re TOR tus

Sentence: "Oh yeah? I'm a b----? Well, uh, uh, I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter!" she retortoised, as he disappeared from view.

Etymology: retort + tortoise

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Lagquip

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: lag-quip

Sentence: Bill could usually be counted on to come up with a lagquip - meaning that it was always a little too late to use it.

Etymology: lag + quip

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Lagbuttal

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˌlæɡˈbətl̩/

Sentence: Oddly enough, the infuriation factor of a lagbuttal seems to be inversely proportional to the length of time since the missed opportunity.

Etymology: From lag + rebuttal

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COMMENTS:

Def should be in common use. - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:49:00

Thanks. - ErWenn, 2007-04-04: 01:14:00

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Delaverbovery

Created by: Jaxies

Pronunciation: /duh-luh-vurb-of-eree/

Sentence: "It was only five hours later that Chris thought of the perfect comeback to Andy's snide remark that 'you couldn't shag a sheep if you tried'. A perfect case of delaverbovery."

Etymology: Delay + verb + recovery

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Wittischism

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: wit/i/skiz/um

Sentence: John's wittischism was particularly acute as he replayed the argument in his mind three hours after the event.

Etymology: witticism (a clever remark) + schism (a division or break - in this case the break between the desire to retort and the actual thinking of the retort.

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COMMENTS:

a clever cut... - ajcor, 2007-04-03: 18:00:00

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Unaquipvent

Created by: suzanne

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Retord

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: ree-tord

Sentence: My clever retord about his ass being listed as a major source of global warming did not come to me until long after it could be effectively delivered.

Etymology: retort, retard

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COMMENTS:

I reckon this one is better than "retortoise" because the tortoise kicked the hair's major source of a problem the American government denies exists. - Bulletchewer, 2007-04-03: 17:35:00

*hare Duh! - Bulletchewer, 2007-04-03: 17:35:00

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Lateslate

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: layte-slayte

Sentence: My lateslate "No, your mother's a gas-guzzling user-unfriendly air polluter!" came to me only three minutes later - when the damage had already been dished out.

Etymology: Late + slate (to insult)

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Ifonlyism

Created by: imcvey

Pronunciation: if-only-ism

Sentence: That ifonlyism would have floored her.

Etymology:

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Tardytort

Created by: PythianHabenero

Pronunciation: tar-dee-tort

Sentence: A half hour after being wittily insulted, Andrew came up with the best tardytort he'd ever heard.

Etymology: "tardy" as in late and "retort" as in comeback.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James

mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 11:45:00
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-20: 03:48:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James