Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.
Verboticisms
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Hindsightjibe
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: hynde syte jybe
Sentence: Drew was famous for his hindsightjibes. When that snotty drag queen walked passed him and told Drew his fly was down (well, she actually said that he had left the garage door open on his dinky car)...he got tongue-tied and froze up(and not just because he had left that door open). Upon reflection, he should have yelled at her that the back of her dress was tucked into the top of her panty hose and a big long piece of arsewipe was stuck to the heel of her stilettos. But then he thought that he would just leave it to cleavage...
Etymology: Hindsight (understanding the nature of an event after it has happened) & Jibe (an aggressive remark directed at a person like a missile and intended to have a telling effect)
Lagbuttal
Created by: ErWenn
Pronunciation: /ˌlæɡˈbətl̩/
Sentence: Oddly enough, the infuriation factor of a lagbuttal seems to be inversely proportional to the length of time since the missed opportunity.
Etymology: From lag + rebuttal
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COMMENTS:
Def should be in common use. - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:49:00
Thanks. - ErWenn, 2007-04-04: 01:14:00
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Parrysoundbite
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: pary/sownd/byte
Sentence: Barry needed dental surgery after his latest parrysoundbite which of course went unheard
Etymology: parry (retort) + Parry Sound (Ontario town) + sound bite (hence gnashing of teeth)
Numback
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: nəmbak
Sentence: She cut him to the quick with her biting remark. All he had was a numback. Like the line from the Three Stooges, ”I’m trying to think but nothing happens”, He’s trying to speak but nothing happens.
Etymology: numb (deprive of feeling or responsiveness) + comeback (a quick reply to a critical remark)
Tortard
Created by: zrotv
Pronunciation: tōr'tärd
Sentence: Her insult was witty and cutting. I dug deep in my repertoire for an equally eloquent response, not wanting to defer to simple comments about her mother. Finally it came and I released it to the now distant and distancing back of her head. My lack of haste had resulted in the ever embarrassing tortardation. My weak totard fizzled on absent ears. Why, oh why, was I doomed to tortardation?! (slang, pejorative, adj.: retortarded)
Etymology: retort (To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner) + retard / tard (To be delayed. Latin retardāre : re- + tardāre, to delay (from tardus, slow))
Ifonlyism
Created by: imcvey
Pronunciation: if-only-ism
Sentence: That ifonlyism would have floored her.
Etymology:
Retorture
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: ree tort chur
Sentence: Drew always became tongue-tied after the tart-tongued Ramona passed him by at school and made one of her blistering comments to him. It was only after she departed that he would think of something clever in return. This retorture replayed like a video in his head all night. He was so busy trying to be the witty racontuer that he failed to realize that she only did this to get his attention because she liked him.
Etymology: Retort (a quick reply to a question or remark (especially a witty or critical one)& Torture (torment emotionally or mentally;the act of distorting something so it seems to mean something it was not intended to mean)
Tardytort
Created by: PythianHabenero
Pronunciation: tar-dee-tort
Sentence: A half hour after being wittily insulted, Andrew came up with the best tardytort he'd ever heard.
Etymology: "tardy" as in late and "retort" as in comeback.
Longliner
Created by: jonobo
Pronunciation: longliner
Sentence: If i only could make those longliner come earlier somehow... ...maybe i simply should invent a quicker way to transmit my thoughts through my speech-centre to my tongue... perhaps i am a rare patient of longuetonguelitis.
Etymology: long + line = message comes late.
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James
mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James