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'Nothing clever to say?'

DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.

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Tortard

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: tōr'tärd

Sentence: Her insult was witty and cutting. I dug deep in my repertoire for an equally eloquent response, not wanting to defer to simple comments about her mother. Finally it came and I released it to the now distant and distancing back of her head. My lack of haste had resulted in the ever embarrassing tortardation. My weak totard fizzled on absent ears. Why, oh why, was I doomed to tortardation?! (slang, pejorative, adj.: retortarded)

Etymology: retort (To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner) + retard / tard (To be delayed. Latin retardāre : re- + tardāre, to delay (from tardus, slow))

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Wittischism

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: wit/i/skiz/um

Sentence: John's wittischism was particularly acute as he replayed the argument in his mind three hours after the event.

Etymology: witticism (a clever remark) + schism (a division or break - in this case the break between the desire to retort and the actual thinking of the retort.

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COMMENTS:

a clever cut... - ajcor, 2007-04-03: 18:00:00

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Requipmentfailure

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: ree/quip/ment/fayl/ur

Sentence: He was constantly plagued by requipmentfailure.

Etymology: re (regarding) + equipment failure + quip

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Hindsightjibe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hynde syte jybe

Sentence: Drew was famous for his hindsightjibes. When that snotty drag queen walked passed him and told Drew his fly was down (well, she actually said that he had left the garage door open on his dinky car)...he got tongue-tied and froze up(and not just because he had left that door open). Upon reflection, he should have yelled at her that the back of her dress was tucked into the top of her panty hose and a big long piece of arsewipe was stuck to the heel of her stilettos. But then he thought that he would just leave it to cleavage...

Etymology: Hindsight (understanding the nature of an event after it has happened) & Jibe (an aggressive remark directed at a person like a missile and intended to have a telling effect)

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Disslate

arlouxo

Created by: arlouxo

Pronunciation: diss/lay/te

Sentence: "UGH! I disslated again Sophie!" "That is the best disslate I ever thought of!"

Etymology: Diss ("comeback line" to insult back someone) & Late

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Resputtal

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: ree-SPUHT-uhl

Sentence: Alex choked on his resputtal of "Then I'll be sure to clear out my night schedule," a full hour after hearing, "I wouldn't give you the time of day."

Etymology: rebuttal + sputter

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Lagquip

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: lag-quip

Sentence: Bill could usually be counted on to come up with a lagquip - meaning that it was always a little too late to use it.

Etymology: lag + quip

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Retortoise

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: re-tor-tus

Sentence: Finally, at 2am , he thought of a retortoise

Etymology: retort, tortoise

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COMMENTS:

petaj another excellent one. I expect you may get a few comments that are retortoises - but they won't be posted for a few days :-) - petaj, 2007-04-03: 03:56:00

Sublime - pinwheel, 2007-04-03: 03:58:00

retortuous! - galwaywegian, 2007-04-03: 05:16:00

dang! I must arise earlier! - Alchemist, 2007-04-03: 05:41:00

fantasic - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:48:00

hareraisingly funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-04-03: 08:45:00

erasmus damn thats too good. - erasmus, 2007-04-03: 09:27:00

I thought of that too, but not until 3:30am... - wordmeister, 2007-04-03: 10:04:00

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Communiclation

Created by: pauliewog

Pronunciation: cuh-mune-i-clay-shun

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Rejoinduh

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: re-join-der

Sentence: Bill's witty riposte to his annoying colleagues came too late. He'd fallen into the humiliating trap of failing to think of a witticism, only a rejoinduh.

Etymology: rejoinder (a reply, a riposte) + uh! (an exclamation used to indicate doubt or hesitation)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James

mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 11:45:00
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-20: 03:48:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James