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'Nothing clever to say?'

DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.

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Wittischism

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: wit/i/skiz/um

Sentence: John's wittischism was particularly acute as he replayed the argument in his mind three hours after the event.

Etymology: witticism (a clever remark) + schism (a division or break - in this case the break between the desire to retort and the actual thinking of the retort.

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COMMENTS:

a clever cut... - ajcor, 2007-04-03: 18:00:00

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Repartardy

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: re-par-tar-dy

Sentence: Mike could only deliver brilliant repartardy to his mirror long after his guests had gone. He longed to be quick and witty; however, he was tongue-tied while he was being verbally filleted by his friends' good natured bantering. As the Japanese proverb says: "He had many knives -- none of them sharp."

Etymology: repartee: swift, witty reply; a conversation marked with the exchange of witty retorts + tardy: arrive or occur after the expected time

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2009-10-20: 12:47:00

Cutting and pointed! - Nosila, 2009-10-21: 01:25:00

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Comeslack

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: (KUHM-slak)

Sentence: He sat in dismay as he had created a perfect comeslack to her nasty remark an hour ago.

Etymology: From "comeback" (a retaliation remark) and "slack" (slow or sluggish).

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COMMENTS:

What every woman wants? - Bulletchewer, 2007-04-03: 17:30:00

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Lateslate

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: layte-slayte

Sentence: My lateslate "No, your mother's a gas-guzzling user-unfriendly air polluter!" came to me only three minutes later - when the damage had already been dished out.

Etymology: Late + slate (to insult)

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Postrip

Created by: Alchemist

Pronunciation: POHST-rip

Sentence: As usual, Jimmy thought of a perfect postrip 2 days after Jeanine called him a lackwit: "I know you are, but what am I?"

Etymology: postscript, post (after), rip (as in to rip on someone verbally).

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Retalilate

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ri/tal/ee/late

Sentence: He could always retalilate to her sharp witted put downs, but only a few hours after her verbal slap.

Etymology: retaliate + late

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COMMENTS:

great word!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-04-03: 08:39:00

That's a good one! - jedijawa, 2007-04-03: 11:39:00

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Parrysoundbite

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: pary/sownd/byte

Sentence: Barry needed dental surgery after his latest parrysoundbite which of course went unheard

Etymology: parry (retort) + Parry Sound (Ontario town) + sound bite (hence gnashing of teeth)

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Tortard

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: tōr'tärd

Sentence: Her insult was witty and cutting. I dug deep in my repertoire for an equally eloquent response, not wanting to defer to simple comments about her mother. Finally it came and I released it to the now distant and distancing back of her head. My lack of haste had resulted in the ever embarrassing tortardation. My weak totard fizzled on absent ears. Why, oh why, was I doomed to tortardation?! (slang, pejorative, adj.: retortarded)

Etymology: retort (To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner) + retard / tard (To be delayed. Latin retardāre : re- + tardāre, to delay (from tardus, slow))

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Retorture

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree tort chur

Sentence: Drew always became tongue-tied after the tart-tongued Ramona passed him by at school and made one of her blistering comments to him. It was only after she departed that he would think of something clever in return. This retorture replayed like a video in his head all night. He was so busy trying to be the witty racontuer that he failed to realize that she only did this to get his attention because she liked him.

Etymology: Retort (a quick reply to a question or remark (especially a witty or critical one)& Torture (torment emotionally or mentally;the act of distorting something so it seems to mean something it was not intended to mean)

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Lagbuttal

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˌlæɡˈbətl̩/

Sentence: Oddly enough, the infuriation factor of a lagbuttal seems to be inversely proportional to the length of time since the missed opportunity.

Etymology: From lag + rebuttal

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COMMENTS:

Def should be in common use. - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:49:00

Thanks. - ErWenn, 2007-04-04: 01:14:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James

mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 11:45:00
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-20: 03:48:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James