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'Nothing clever to say?'

DEFINITION: n. A clever remark, especially a "comeback line" to an insult, which does not come to mind until it is too late to be delivered; often leads to the gnashing of teeth. v. To think of something clever after it's too late.

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Verboticisms

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Tortard

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: tōr'tärd

Sentence: Her insult was witty and cutting. I dug deep in my repertoire for an equally eloquent response, not wanting to defer to simple comments about her mother. Finally it came and I released it to the now distant and distancing back of her head. My lack of haste had resulted in the ever embarrassing tortardation. My weak totard fizzled on absent ears. Why, oh why, was I doomed to tortardation?! (slang, pejorative, adj.: retortarded)

Etymology: retort (To reply, especially to answer in a quick, caustic, or witty manner) + retard / tard (To be delayed. Latin retardāre : re- + tardāre, to delay (from tardus, slow))

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Retrotort

Created by: caroline73

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: combines retro - after the event - and retort.

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COMMENTS:

Good word. I bet if you put in the time to include a sample sentence, you might get a few more votes. - ErWenn, 2007-04-04: 01:15:00

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Postwit

AnnieChandon

Created by: AnnieChandon

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Retortoise

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: re-tor-tus

Sentence: Finally, at 2am , he thought of a retortoise

Etymology: retort, tortoise

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COMMENTS:

petaj another excellent one. I expect you may get a few comments that are retortoises - but they won't be posted for a few days :-) - petaj, 2007-04-03: 03:56:00

Sublime - pinwheel, 2007-04-03: 03:58:00

retortuous! - galwaywegian, 2007-04-03: 05:16:00

dang! I must arise earlier! - Alchemist, 2007-04-03: 05:41:00

fantasic - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:48:00

hareraisingly funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-04-03: 08:45:00

erasmus damn thats too good. - erasmus, 2007-04-03: 09:27:00

I thought of that too, but not until 3:30am... - wordmeister, 2007-04-03: 10:04:00

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Lagbuttal

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˌlæɡˈbətl̩/

Sentence: Oddly enough, the infuriation factor of a lagbuttal seems to be inversely proportional to the length of time since the missed opportunity.

Etymology: From lag + rebuttal

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COMMENTS:

Def should be in common use. - imcvey, 2007-04-03: 05:49:00

Thanks. - ErWenn, 2007-04-04: 01:14:00

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Wittischism

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: wit/i/skiz/um

Sentence: John's wittischism was particularly acute as he replayed the argument in his mind three hours after the event.

Etymology: witticism (a clever remark) + schism (a division or break - in this case the break between the desire to retort and the actual thinking of the retort.

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COMMENTS:

a clever cut... - ajcor, 2007-04-03: 18:00:00

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Gigglelag

Created by: Sed8ed

Pronunciation: gig-el-lag

Sentence: Gigglelag was a familiar state of affairs for Mark, who always found himself tongue-tied (?) until well after the argument was over.

Etymology: giggle + lag = gigglelag

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Substingstuff

Created by: ajcor

Pronunciation: substingstuff

Sentence: she devastated him with her oneliner about his mono brow but this time he was ready for the cruel witticism and was able to substingstuff right back at her.

Etymology: subsequent to+clever, smart, sting+remark,statement,content,stuff.

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Lagquip

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: lag-quip

Sentence: Bill could usually be counted on to come up with a lagquip - meaning that it was always a little too late to use it.

Etymology: lag + quip

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Hindsightjibe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hynde syte jybe

Sentence: Drew was famous for his hindsightjibes. When that snotty drag queen walked passed him and told Drew his fly was down (well, she actually said that he had left the garage door open on his dinky car)...he got tongue-tied and froze up(and not just because he had left that door open). Upon reflection, he should have yelled at her that the back of her dress was tucked into the top of her panty hose and a big long piece of arsewipe was stuck to the heel of her stilettos. But then he thought that he would just leave it to cleavage...

Etymology: Hindsight (understanding the nature of an event after it has happened) & Jibe (an aggressive remark directed at a person like a missile and intended to have a telling effect)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian.
Thank you mplsbohemian! ~ James

mplsbohemian - 2007-04-03: 11:13:00
Thanks for using the definition! I specifically chose it because the French expression for this is notoriously difficult to succinctly translate into English. Perhaps you guys can help! Peace Clint

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-04-03: 11:45:00
Ah oui, "l'ésprit de l'escalier"... Merci pour la suggestion, mplsbohemian ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-20: 03:48:00
Today's definition was suggested by mplsbohemian. Thank you mplsbohemian. ~ James