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'I need to feel sexy again! Give me Britney's abs!'

DEFINITION: v. intr., To compensate for emotional rejection by trying to change one's appearance through aggressive dieting, exercise and/or plastic surgery -- common among aging divorcees.

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Verboticisms

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Transfigurence

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: trans-FIG-yur-ence

Sentence: Following a messy divorce that included a great deal of harsh criticism about his 'sagging' appearance, Martin began a rigorous program of transfigurence, and finding a great deal of success with his efforts has become a real hunk and is in great demand in the dating game.

Etymology: Based on the word 'transfigure' (vt. transform outwardly and usually for the better)

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Exbortion

Created by: frenchprof

Pronunciation: ex-bort exbortion

Sentence: He had his stomach exborted not too long ago. No more pregnant looking men.

Etymology: ex-boriri out of-appearance also dis-appeared

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Tartificialing

Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: tahrt-uh-fish-uhl-ng

Sentence: Bill was tartificialing to impress Monica who was the new girl in the office. But Ken, a guy in the office, became suspicious of Bill's self improvement.

Etymology: tart - (garish,overdone ex. to tart up ones appearance.) + artificial + ing

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he achieved that look with tartificial sweeteners - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:53:00

I hope Bill's not a tartificious tataram! (A foolish old man,esp one with sex on his mind- Rasta slang (1930) - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:51:00

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Vexyoursize

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks yor syes

Sentence: When Vicki left Victor, he knew he had to vexyoursize and change his appearance in order to win her back or attract someone new. He tried diets, exercise and really could not afford surgery. Depressed he went into a bar to drown his sorrows. Feeling a little tipsy and slurring his words a bit, he stumbled home in the dark. He passed a church and decided to pray to the angels for a new look. He awoke the next day in the church and was stunned to see his reflection in a mirror. He looked worse! How could this be? At that point an old Irish Priest appeared at his side and said, "My son, you must be careful what you ask for when praying to the angels! Your speech was so slurred that they misunderstood you. You asked for a rose, instead of a new nose, so they gave you a big red one. You asked for a gin, instead of a new chin, so they gave you a double. You asked for bigger ears, they thought you said big arrears, so now you're broke. You asked for new hair, they thought you said a good scare, so now you have been neutered. You asked for new legs, they thought you said new pegs, so you can hobble home on two wooden ones. You asked for slimmer thighs, they thought you said dimmer eyes, so now you'll need strong glasses. You asked for a firm jaw, they thought you said a claw, so now you'll look talon-ted!"

Etymology: Vex (change the arrangement or position of;disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress) & Ex (former partner) & Your Size (body image, appearance) & exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Anovorcic

Created by: cpjax

Pronunciation: AnO- vor-CiC

Sentence: after he divorced he went on an anovorcic diet

Etymology: anorexic plus divorce

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Divorsuction

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Di-vor-suk-shun

Sentence: When her divorce alimony came through, Jean decided to put some towards getting divorsuction, the new plastic surgery designed especially for the newly divorced in order to lose weight, ready to join the dating circuit again.

Etymology: Divorce(divor) + liposuction (suction) = Divorsuction

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Superfacial

Mrgoodtimes

Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: Su - per - fae - shul

Sentence: Nancy was in her 40s and newly single, so she made her appointment at the clinic to be superfacialled.

Etymology: Superficial - Facial, or other means of rejuvenation

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Abpolish

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ab/poll/ish

Sentence: The only way to abpolish her demons and win back her self esteem was to throw herself wholeheartedly into sculpting a new physique.

Etymology: ab (as in abdominal) + polish + abolish

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COMMENTS:

Anuddergudun'! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-20: 10:02:00

I must abpologize - I found this one tough so I had to milk it for all it was worth - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:35:00

Abpolish doesn't have the snarky pejorative connotations. Yours is best! - skeeterzirra, 2007-09-20: 14:23:00

Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:46:00

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Egoplasty

DaddyNewt

Created by: DaddyNewt

Pronunciation: EE-go-plaz-tee

Sentence: Make your egoplasty appointment soon.

Etymology: ego + medical term

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COMMENTS:

DrWebsterIII nice word - DrWebsterIII, 2012-10-24: 00:19:00

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Transformoron

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: Trans-for-MOR-on

Sentence: Tom's mid-life crisis included a Ferrari, an iPhone, a new girlfriend and a transformoron into a man 10 years younger. Unfortunately Tom looked like a man ten years older.

Etymology: Transform + Moron

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-20: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by staggolee. Thank you staggolee! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-09-20: 17:44:00
Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-02: 00:07:00
Today's definition was suggested by staggolee. Thank you staggolee. ~ James