Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: Gram-stop-oh

Sentence: Maude was a good wife. She tollerated and suffered throught many of her pet peeves about Larry, but the one she couldn't pass up was his poor language. He constantly spewed out mixed tenses as often as he mixed metaphors, and noun-verb agreement would always get lost somewhere in a sentence. Larry paid as much attention to what he said as much as she how much she corrected him. He just laughed it off as he called her his little "Gramstapo."

Etymology: Gram -from grammar + gestap - the Nazi secret police

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COMMENTS:

gestapo, that is. (Consider this a preemptive correction for the missing "o" to avoid any wannabe gramstapos out there from pouncing on me. lol - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

Or, would it be called "gramstapoes?" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

or "gramstopi?" - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:55:00

Larry should not forget, "We ask the questions!" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:34:00

Ja, gutes wort (yes, good word). Did you realize that you can 'Edit' your entry arrrteest? - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:54:00

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Created by: lplybon

Pronunciation: "Kun-EE-leeng-WIST"

Sentence: Everyone dreads the Thursday afternoon staff meeting: Bob, the office manager, makes what should be a 30-minute meeting addressing staff concerns a 2-hour lecture on correct grammar. Bob is such a cunnilinguist he spends more time correcting every little mistake people make when speaking than actually hearing what they are saying. If Bob reminds us that his name is a palindrome one more time, I swear I will scream!

Etymology: Combination of the words "cunning" and "linguist"

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COMMENTS:

Brilliant !!! - XMbIPb, 2010-06-02: 19:34:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: lin/guwee/nie

Sentence: Jonathan was definitely a gifted person, but he was so annoying because he always corrected everybody's language. He was definitely a linguweenie.

Etymology: LINGUWEENIE - noun - from LINGUIST (a specialist in language and linguistics) + WEENIE (nerd, geek)

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COMMENTS:

fantastic - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:14:00

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: lin GWIS bitch

Sentence: I am sick and tired of her linguisbitch, annoying behaviour.

Etymology: LINGUISTICS: connected with language BITCH: complain

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: day-mĭn'uh-mōn'-r

Sentence: Bert was away on business when Loni's delivery date came, so he got the news of the blessed event by phone. "Its a pair of twins, darling!" she told him with glee. A habitual deminimoaner, he couldn't help himself. Knowing it would, at best, dampen the joyous mood, he spouted in reply, "REDUNDANT!"

Etymology: de min·i·mis, Latin, trifling or unimportant; moaner, one who moans, complainer.

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps it was tautology - . // The study of nervous tension. (Gil Krebs, POTD, 28 Jun 2000) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:24:00

Great sentence! LOL. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:02:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: werd - zill - uh

Sentence: Brunhilda was a stickler for grammar and had become a veritable wordzilla at parsing every one of Geoffrey's utterings.

Etymology: Blend of word and Godzilla

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COMMENTS:

I parse on this one. Good blend. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:39:00

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Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: brain-in-the-ass

Sentence: sh*t, you're a real brain-in-the-ass. don't you mean pain-in-the-ass? no you *****

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

Hahahaha. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:32:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: lin/guwee/nie

Sentence: Rocco was definitely a gifted person, but he was so annoying because he always corrected everybody's language. He was definitely a linguweenie.

Etymology: linguist + weenie

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COMMENTS:

Hilarious. For some reason, though, it makes me hungry for Italian food. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:40:00

he was probably adamant about the pasta tense - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:04:00

Love it! I can not wait until I can use the sentence, "Don't be such a linguweenie!" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 11:58:00

Bravo! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:05:00

Bellissimo (or is it We'll eat some more) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:43:00

No wonder they say that Rocco is such a wet noodle. Funny word. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:47:00

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