Verboticisms

Created by: doseydotes

Pronunciation: ˈgra-mər-ˈä-dər

Sentence: Jacob turned to his dad. “Me and Jim are going to the mall . . .” “Jim’s not mean,” Tim interrupted. “What?” Jacob asked. “Jim’s not mean. You said he was mean,” replied his dad. “Oh, DAD. JIM AND I are going to the mall,” said Jacob, exasperated. “Your dad is such a grammarauder,” whispered Jim. “TELL me about it,” grumbled Jacob.

Etymology: From the Greek, gram, meaning "really old lady with really good cookies"; from the Neptune, mer, meaning "handsome eunich water sprite"; from the Shyamalan, aud, meaning "strangeness bordering on scariness which is somehow still lucrative"; and from the Irish, er, a place-holder in speech which prevents others from talking while one thinks of something else to say.

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COMMENTS:

Sounds somehow familiar. And the obscure etymological sources from whence your creations spring never cease to amaze. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:58:00

marauder could be someone who goes in search of blunder - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:41:00

Grammatical Error - When Grandma screws up. Interesting blend. (Johnny Hart, The Book of Phrases - BC Comic Strip) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:10:00

Oh, that's my #1 pet peeve — when people say 'me and ' where they should say ' and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:01:00

That didn't show up right. I meant — when people say 'me and [so-and-so]' where they should say '[so-and-so] and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:03:00

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: F-11

Sentence: Who cares if I said "me and my dog" instead of "my dog and I"? Don't be such an effeleven!

Etymology: from the keyboard shortcut for spellchecker

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: Gram-stop-oh

Sentence: Maude was a good wife. She tollerated and suffered throught many of her pet peeves about Larry, but the one she couldn't pass up was his poor language. He constantly spewed out mixed tenses as often as he mixed metaphors, and noun-verb agreement would always get lost somewhere in a sentence. Larry paid as much attention to what he said as much as she how much she corrected him. He just laughed it off as he called her his little "Gramstapo."

Etymology: Gram -from grammar + gestap - the Nazi secret police

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COMMENTS:

gestapo, that is. (Consider this a preemptive correction for the missing "o" to avoid any wannabe gramstapos out there from pouncing on me. lol - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

Or, would it be called "gramstapoes?" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

or "gramstopi?" - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:55:00

Larry should not forget, "We ask the questions!" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:34:00

Ja, gutes wort (yes, good word). Did you realize that you can 'Edit' your entry arrrteest? - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:54:00

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: lin GWIS bitch

Sentence: I am sick and tired of her linguisbitch, annoying behaviour.

Etymology: LINGUISTICS: connected with language BITCH: complain

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: brain-in-the-ass

Sentence: sh*t, you're a real brain-in-the-ass. don't you mean pain-in-the-ass? no you *****

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

Hahahaha. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:32:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taks ass sess or

Sentence: Sidney Nym had grown to hate his wife, Anne T. Nym. Almost since the day they were wed, she had made him tense in his past, present and future due to her incessant correction of his grammar. Their initial conjunction had been predicated on their indicative physical attraction to each other and they had conjugated their relationship regularly then. But she took her role as syntaxassessor very seriously and over the years, she had become the active voice and he the passive one. She was the definite article, he was the indefinite one. He would love to subject her to a taste of her own medicine, but unfortunately, his weak linguistic grasp of the vernacular just gave him a pain in his colon instead. He wished he had interjected a clause in their pre-nup to preclude her from modifying his income should the object of his affection preposition another man and leave. He had pondered many a time abbreviating her time on Earth, but he also had to consider the children: Acro Nym and Homo Nym (yeah, like he didn't get teased in school). He had also considered running off and becoming a transitive, but he was a pronoun and had an ellipsis....he decided to stay and work on his marriage. Besides, compounding his decision was the fact that every article he read said that the sentence for a case like his could be Capital punishment!

Etymology: syntax (studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences; the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement) & tax (make a charge against or accuse) & assessor (an official who evaluates things or judges their merits)

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COMMENTS:

Man, your sentence leaves me speechless. I have nothing-you used 'em all! expertly done. - stache, 2008-03-26: 09:10:00

Astounding sentence! Love the word too! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-26: 14:11:00

well thought out - bookowl, 2008-03-26: 15:14:00

Absolutely great sentence. Syntax - . // The money collected at the church from sinners. (Aiken Drum, POTD, 31 May 1999) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:19:00

I'll never look at ellipses the same way again. Simply punderful! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:25:00

Cheers, all...as you may have guessed my nickname is Nosila, Queen of the Pundra! This is a great place to practice my craft...few on the outside understand "us"! - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:45:00

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Tag-mem-ic-rect-if-i-Kay-shun-o-file

Sentence: Verbosity and gramatic eloquence cannot singularly direct the attentive comprehension of the average individual through auditory reception; without the proper corrective parameters being established by a fully qualified tagmemicrectificationophile!

Etymology: Tagmemic (Words) Rectification (Correction) Phile (To admire or be devoted to)

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COMMENTS:

indubitably, a singularly meritoreous and commendable candidate, no component occluded. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:38:00

Alas, I lament my reiteration of your expression, "singularly." - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Albeit unheeding, and contextually distinguishable. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:45:00

One for "The Dictionary of Longest Verboticisms" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:46:00

A preeminently jocular submission, (although hard to say in one breath). - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:16:00

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Created by: garythesnail

Pronunciation: Gru-mat-ih-SIE-zur

Sentence:

Etymology:

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