Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Tag-mem-ic-rect-if-i-Kay-shun-o-file

Sentence: Verbosity and gramatic eloquence cannot singularly direct the attentive comprehension of the average individual through auditory reception; without the proper corrective parameters being established by a fully qualified tagmemicrectificationophile!

Etymology: Tagmemic (Words) Rectification (Correction) Phile (To admire or be devoted to)

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COMMENTS:

indubitably, a singularly meritoreous and commendable candidate, no component occluded. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:38:00

Alas, I lament my reiteration of your expression, "singularly." - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Albeit unheeding, and contextually distinguishable. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:45:00

One for "The Dictionary of Longest Verboticisms" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:46:00

A preeminently jocular submission, (although hard to say in one breath). - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:16:00

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: F-11

Sentence: Who cares if I said "me and my dog" instead of "my dog and I"? Don't be such an effeleven!

Etymology: from the keyboard shortcut for spellchecker

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Created by: garythesnail

Pronunciation: Gru-mat-ih-SIE-zur

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: speek - ur - tweek - ur

Sentence: Margerie could not listen to anyone without "tweaking" their statements so that the speaker's grammar and voice inflection were correct in the context of the sentence. Her family and friends became loath to even talk to her for fear of being corrected. Other than being a speakertweaker, Margerie's biggest compulsion was playing Verbotomy every day and checking her scores every hour.

Etymology: Speaker (someone who expresses in language; someone who talks) + tweaker (a person who tweaks something) tweak (fine-tune: adjust finely)

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COMMENTS:

nice one! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-16: 11:41:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: werd - zill - uh

Sentence: Brunhilda was a stickler for grammar and had become a veritable wordzilla at parsing every one of Geoffrey's utterings.

Etymology: Blend of word and Godzilla

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COMMENTS:

I parse on this one. Good blend. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:39:00

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Created by: mercury258

Pronunciation: gram-you-scribe

Sentence: Jenna: Where'd you go to? My water broke and I need a ride to the hospital! Sarah: I think you mean to say, "To where did you go?" Jenna: Quit grammuscribing me and give me a ride!

Etymology: From Grammar and to Prescribe

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taks ass sess or

Sentence: Sidney Nym had grown to hate his wife, Anne T. Nym. Almost since the day they were wed, she had made him tense in his past, present and future due to her incessant correction of his grammar. Their initial conjunction had been predicated on their indicative physical attraction to each other and they had conjugated their relationship regularly then. But she took her role as syntaxassessor very seriously and over the years, she had become the active voice and he the passive one. She was the definite article, he was the indefinite one. He would love to subject her to a taste of her own medicine, but unfortunately, his weak linguistic grasp of the vernacular just gave him a pain in his colon instead. He wished he had interjected a clause in their pre-nup to preclude her from modifying his income should the object of his affection preposition another man and leave. He had pondered many a time abbreviating her time on Earth, but he also had to consider the children: Acro Nym and Homo Nym (yeah, like he didn't get teased in school). He had also considered running off and becoming a transitive, but he was a pronoun and had an ellipsis....he decided to stay and work on his marriage. Besides, compounding his decision was the fact that every article he read said that the sentence for a case like his could be Capital punishment!

Etymology: syntax (studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences; the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement) & tax (make a charge against or accuse) & assessor (an official who evaluates things or judges their merits)

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COMMENTS:

Man, your sentence leaves me speechless. I have nothing-you used 'em all! expertly done. - stache, 2008-03-26: 09:10:00

Astounding sentence! Love the word too! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-26: 14:11:00

well thought out - bookowl, 2008-03-26: 15:14:00

Absolutely great sentence. Syntax - . // The money collected at the church from sinners. (Aiken Drum, POTD, 31 May 1999) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:19:00

I'll never look at ellipses the same way again. Simply punderful! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:25:00

Cheers, all...as you may have guessed my nickname is Nosila, Queen of the Pundra! This is a great place to practice my craft...few on the outside understand "us"! - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:45:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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