Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: drool of de ny al

Sentence: When Jack Russell ran into Germaine Shepherd at the Greyhound Bus Depot, he had been walking his hound, Fido. Fido immediately jumped all over Germaine and slobbered all over her face. She shouted at Jack to Puli him off her. Jack tried valiantly but said, "Sorry, he's just friendly...he has so much love to give, like me! You are such a pretty Lassie!" Germaine unleashed her fury and demanded that Jack & Fido's adoration be harnassed. To calm Germaine, he invited her into the nearest pub, "The Dirty Dog" for a hair of the dog that bit her. She told the bartender, "I'll Havanese...no, make it a double!" Jack ordered a Scotch Terrier and soda. "Muzzle Tov!", he said and they had a few more. "Jack", she said, "You are not such a bad breed, but you need to send Fido to obedience school". When he objected, she told him she was not usually a Pointer, but he was in a Droolofdenial and that if he wanted to see her again, he'd have to obey. Well, our Jack tried many schools, he even went as far away as Labrador, Newfoundland, the Great Pyrenees, even Afghanistan, Lhasa Apso, Chihuahua and Brittany. But none could train his Fido not to drool. He had run away for months. He even prayed to Saint Bernard for guidance. Finally, he returned to the pub and was panting when he saw Germaine,looking fetching in her Poodle skirt, eating Beagles & Lox and drinking Bassett Ale. When he went over to Retriever, he saw that she was curled up with a Husky Boxer, a Great Dane named Erik, who was eating his Chow with a Pinscher salt,some Collieflour and some Maltese candies. He was also taking a Pekingnese at her Schnauzer with his Bischon Frise, his Mastiff, as he tried to Whippet out. Russell thought it disgusting and trotted over to mark his territory. "Oh, Jack", she said, "Don't be Samoyed... what you felt was only Puppy Love for me, what I love about Erik is that he is a Rover, not a Setter, the best Keeshond I've had and he won't Stay unless I want him to!" Jack slinked out of the pub, with his tail between his legs, saying, "That Bitch, I'm so past Cairn! I don't give a Rin Tin Tin for her"

Etymology: drool (slobber, saliva spilling from the mouth,pretentious or silly talk or writing) & denial ((psychiatry) a defense mechanism that denies painful thoughts;the act of refusing to comply (as with a request);the act of asserting that something alleged is not true) & Jewel of The Nile (for rhyming effect)(a popular 1985 Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner/Danny DeVito movie whose tagline was "When the going gets tough, the tough get going".

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COMMENTS:

Great K9 tail. Tell Jack Russell that Afghani Stan is full of kabul. By the way, where did Din go? - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-04: 03:07:00

I had a dog like that once....half poodle and half poodle...a poopoo dog. - Mustang, 2008-07-04: 17:09:00

Bob, I think Din was led by his nose somewhere...aren't thney all? Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-07-05: 00:22:00

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: burd/i/shun

Sentence: I always feel like I'm in birdition when I visit Jill's house. She has canarys that fly free and deposit loads of bird crap and feathers on me.

Etymology: bird + perdition (anguish, nether world)

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COMMENTS:

It's brave soul who walks the road to birdition. Take a raincoat. - petaj, 2007-04-27: 21:02:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dumb est ikk hay tid

Sentence: His version of domesticated was more like domestichated in her opinion, she thought as the great hound nuzzled into her crotch with such force as to spill her martini, but if his wallet is anything like the size of his dog, it might be worth persevering.

Etymology: domesticated, hated

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Created by: allawson

Pronunciation: Pet Trouble

Sentence: Rover jumped up on Judy as she came out the door and john was petroubled.

Etymology: The mush I call a brain

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Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: dawg-muh

Sentence: My pet's dogma caused my guests to feel quite uneased.

Etymology: Dog (standard pet) + Dogma (system of principles or standards)

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Created by: fionnabhair

Pronunciation: PUP'lik

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: Goldentongue

Pronunciation: Pe-tas-ter

Sentence: What a petaster! I'm most embarrassed, forgive Peewee he doesn't normally do that to other people, but it's quite pleasurable isn't it?

Etymology: Pet: a domestic tamed animal. Disaster: an event that causes great damage

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: chew-grinned

Sentence: "Puppies will be puppies," Dan thought when Abbey, his new labrador retriever pup chewed up his shoes, gloves, daughter's homework, carpet, furniture and woodwork; however, he was really chewgrined when his neighbor came to inquire about his cat.

Etymology: chew + chagrined: feeling or caused to feel uneasy and self-conscious

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˌɪmpʌˈpɹaɪəti/

Sentence: Impupriety is in the eye of the beholder; I knew a girl who was disturbed by the mere sight of an animal licking itself.

Etymology: From impropriety + pup

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COMMENTS:

Rejected verbotomies: faux paw, animalgarity, wooffrontery, pet peeve, and petrageousness - ErWenn, 2007-04-27: 09:18:00

They join my rejections: mispuphaviour, jackassery, and sheepdogish and the extremely long and ridiculous shamefacedlovebirding. - petaj, 2007-04-27: 21:00:00

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Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: deck/or/bum

Sentence: After a healthy bout of bottom sniffing and leg hugging, Amanda finally managed to persuade Rex to let her girlfriend enter the apartment. Whilst she made coffee for them both, Rex displayed great decorbum as he gave his balls a thorough licking.

Etymology: decorum (good manners) + bum (your rear end)

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COMMENTS:

OMG, that sentence is so funny!! - purpleartichokes, 2007-04-27: 07:56:00

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