Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: drool of de ny al

Sentence: When Jack Russell ran into Germaine Shepherd at the Greyhound Bus Depot, he had been walking his hound, Fido. Fido immediately jumped all over Germaine and slobbered all over her face. She shouted at Jack to Puli him off her. Jack tried valiantly but said, "Sorry, he's just friendly...he has so much love to give, like me! You are such a pretty Lassie!" Germaine unleashed her fury and demanded that Jack & Fido's adoration be harnassed. To calm Germaine, he invited her into the nearest pub, "The Dirty Dog" for a hair of the dog that bit her. She told the bartender, "I'll Havanese...no, make it a double!" Jack ordered a Scotch Terrier and soda. "Muzzle Tov!", he said and they had a few more. "Jack", she said, "You are not such a bad breed, but you need to send Fido to obedience school". When he objected, she told him she was not usually a Pointer, but he was in a Droolofdenial and that if he wanted to see her again, he'd have to obey. Well, our Jack tried many schools, he even went as far away as Labrador, Newfoundland, the Great Pyrenees, even Afghanistan, Lhasa Apso, Chihuahua and Brittany. But none could train his Fido not to drool. He had run away for months. He even prayed to Saint Bernard for guidance. Finally, he returned to the pub and was panting when he saw Germaine,looking fetching in her Poodle skirt, eating Beagles & Lox and drinking Bassett Ale. When he went over to Retriever, he saw that she was curled up with a Husky Boxer, a Great Dane named Erik, who was eating his Chow with a Pinscher salt,some Collieflour and some Maltese candies. He was also taking a Pekingnese at her Schnauzer with his Bischon Frise, his Mastiff, as he tried to Whippet out. Russell thought it disgusting and trotted over to mark his territory. "Oh, Jack", she said, "Don't be Samoyed... what you felt was only Puppy Love for me, what I love about Erik is that he is a Rover, not a Setter, the best Keeshond I've had and he won't Stay unless I want him to!" Jack slinked out of the pub, with his tail between his legs, saying, "That Bitch, I'm so past Cairn! I don't give a Rin Tin Tin for her"

Etymology: drool (slobber, saliva spilling from the mouth,pretentious or silly talk or writing) & denial ((psychiatry) a defense mechanism that denies painful thoughts;the act of refusing to comply (as with a request);the act of asserting that something alleged is not true) & Jewel of The Nile (for rhyming effect)(a popular 1985 Michael Douglas/Kathleen Turner/Danny DeVito movie whose tagline was "When the going gets tough, the tough get going".

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COMMENTS:

Great K9 tail. Tell Jack Russell that Afghani Stan is full of kabul. By the way, where did Din go? - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-04: 03:07:00

I had a dog like that once....half poodle and half poodle...a poopoo dog. - Mustang, 2008-07-04: 17:09:00

Bob, I think Din was led by his nose somewhere...aren't thney all? Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-07-05: 00:22:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/i/fowl

Sentence: Joe's dog, Fido, always sniffs excessively sticking his nose up every part of your body, licks every piece of bare skin, especially your lips, nose and eyes and slobbers saliva all over everywhere every time he meets you. Fido is a petifoul. Anybody who has been petifouled by a dog knows Fido's routine all too well. Most people hate petifoulers.

Etymology: PETIFOUL - noun - from PET (any domesticated, or tamed animal that is kept as a companion and cared for affectionately) + FOUL (grossly offensive to the senses; disgustingly loathsome)

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COMMENTS:

PETIFOUL is very intuitive. But here we go picking on poor FIDO again. FIDO's infamous behavior is well known and publicised, but he's paid his doggie debt to society. Let him get on with his limited life without the social stigma... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-04: 07:48:00

Yep, Fdo sure has had a dog of a day! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-05: 07:11:00

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Created by: raenpayne

Pronunciation:

Sentence: as a noun: ugh, don't be such a werpet! sir, your dog is a werpet. as a verb: stop werpetting my leg.

Etymology: wer - middle egyptian - bad + pet modern english - an animal companion which may or may not be considered an equal or a lower being depending on the number of tree huggers in your area

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Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: burd/i/shun

Sentence: I always feel like I'm in birdition when I visit Jill's house. She has canarys that fly free and deposit loads of bird crap and feathers on me.

Etymology: bird + perdition (anguish, nether world)

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COMMENTS:

It's brave soul who walks the road to birdition. Take a raincoat. - petaj, 2007-04-27: 21:02:00

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Created by: sabbychankicksass

Pronunciation: pet/tra/fido

Sentence: When the neighbor's dog begins to engage in "petrifido" all over my face , I think to myself I will have to wash my face when I get home...

Etymology: the words pet, petrified and fido combined to make one word

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Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: pro-FAW-nay-shun

Sentence: Eleanor lunged backwards as Fido's attentions elevated from a friendly tail wag to intense profaunation. As though talking to Jed wasn't difficult enough, with his intense staring and too-friendly shoulder rubs and sneaky thigh touches, now his dog was invading her space. Feeling violated, Eleanor exclaimed to Jed, "Help! Your dog is trying to kiss me!" Jed snickered, and grabbed Fido's leash. "Down Fido! Down!" he exclaimed. "Sorry," he said, halfheartedly. "He's just very friendly." Eleanor wondered what else Fido and Jed had in common...

Etymology: PROFANATION: the act of profaning; desecration; defilement; debasement (PROFANE: to misuse something that should be held in reverence or respect) + FAUNA: the animals of a given region or period considered as a whole

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COMMENTS:

great word - hey metro - you missed one - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-04: 10:26:00

Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-05: 07:12:00

PROFAWNATION's nice- but it could be misinterpreted as a nation populated by professional adolescent whitetail deer.....? Which are SURE to be chased by......FIDO! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-05: 10:19:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pet/i/fowl

Sentence: Fred's dog, Fido, always sniffs, licks and slobbers when he meets people. Fido is a petifoul. Anybody who has been petifouled, hates petifoulers.

Etymology: pet + foul

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COMMENTS:

Poor Fido's really copping a hammering today. Does anyone actually know someone with a dog called Fido? - petaj, 2007-04-27: 21:31:00

I know someone with a phone called fido... - wordmeister, 2007-04-29: 06:03:00

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Created by: fionnabhair

Pronunciation: PUP'lik

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: PET i ket

Sentence: Herb's labrador Bert had a dogs' pettiquette when greeting strangers. While it was embarrassing for Herb, Bert felt it natural to taste a stranger.

Etymology: From: ettiquette and pet.

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COMMENTS:

petticularly good word! - Nosila, 2009-11-14: 00:36:00

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Created by: totalyclipse

Pronunciation: pet a barr assment

Sentence: He was diagnosed with petabarrassment.

Etymology: Said to be from Greek penta (five) with the middle letter removed, as if the previously coined prefix tera- had been formed in the same way from Greek tetra (four).

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