Vote for the best verboticism.

'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Fonzd

giveaphuk

Created by: giveaphuk

Pronunciation: FO NZ D

Sentence: I was suprised how fonzd he was, considering the disaster unfolding around him.

Etymology: Fonzd, derived from Fonzie - "Happy Days" (played by Henry Wrinkler). I got the idea from infamous diner robbery scene, aka a huge freaking disaster, in movie "Pulp Fiction" when the Samual L. Jackson is saying 'Now everyone be cool like the fonz!'

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Spock

Created by: autophile

Pronunciation: SPOCK

Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.

Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.

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COMMENTS:

Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00

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Compunonpluss

Created by: heb319

Pronunciation: compu non plus

Sentence: As flames engulfed the building, Jack compunonplussed about to complete his filing before he escaped through the window.

Etymology: compulsive nonplussed

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Lifebot

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: lyf - bot

Sentence: Stanley behaved much like a lifebot. No matter what situation he found himself in, he acted predictably detached, calm and methodical; with no apparent emotion.

Etymology: life, robot

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Androitude

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: AHN - droi - tyood

Sentence: No, it wasn't the crashing of a plane infested with snakes or the holdup of the diner that made Samuel L. Jackson's girlfriend go ballistic and frantically screaming for help... it was actually his androitude.

Etymology: android (a systematic cyberhuman; we all know how freakishly organized C-3PO was) + attitude (disposition)

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Indexhaustive

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: in-decks-orst-ive

Sentence: In the face of disaster, Sarah got tunnel vision. As her exasperated boyfriend pakced his suitcase to leave for a new life, she followed him round and indexhaustively rearranged the books he wasn't taking into alphabetical order.

Etymology: index (to put into order) + exhaustive (tiring out, draining) + ex (former partner or spouse)

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COMMENTS:

cute - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Turtaculous

Created by: vetmommy2

Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss

Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)

Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...

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COMMENTS:

Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00

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Relaxemergent

nostalgia75

Created by: nostalgia75

Pronunciation: ri-laks-i-mur-juhnt

Sentence: When the intense fire broke out at the circus, Coco the clown was surprisingly the most relaxemergent person there.

Etymology: Relax: to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc. Emergent: calling for immediate action; urgent.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RELAXMERGERT?...out of the inkwelll.... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 13:05:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James