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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Chaotizen

Created by: brucee10

Pronunciation: Kay - ah - Ti - zen

Sentence: His chaotizen attitude was infuriating. How he could read a book during an multi-server crash, I'll never know.

Etymology: Chaotic + zen or chaos+ citizen(someone who lives in constant chaos and is not alarmed by it)

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Apocalypstoicism

Trystera

Created by: Trystera

Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"

Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.

Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism

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Browniejob

TimTheEnchanter

Created by: TimTheEnchanter

Pronunciation: BROW-nee-jahb

Sentence: When the massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles, the Governator refused to cancel his vacation to the Caribbean to help facilitate relief efforts, thus giving a big browniejob to the people of southern California.

Etymology: From the infamous pronouncement "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" by US President George W. Bush to FEMA director Mike Brown, whose organization was ineffective, bureaucratic, and just plain slow providing help to the people of New Orleans following the hurricane Katrina disaster. ALTERNATE/DISPUTED ETYMOLOGY: Refers to the victims of a disaster getting figuratively sh*t upon by the people in power who refuse to raise their energy level in the face of a crisis.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx BROWNIEJOB: damn straight! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:52:00

Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:25:00

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Samuelel

playdohheart

Created by: playdohheart

Pronunciation: sam-u-uhl-El

Sentence: A constant state of samuelel is important when landing a plane infested with snakes or peacefully resolving the holdup of a diner.

Etymology: Every movie of Samuel L Jackson

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Zensible

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: zen/si/bol

Sentence: Joe is zensible in the worst situations, remaining centered and focussed on what needs to be done to avert disaster and calmly following through.

Etymology: ZEN (calmness and enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation) + SENSIBLE (having, using, or showing good sense, or sound judgmen)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx I hope that Joe's ZENSIBILITY carries the day when the shrouded head of doom rears it's ugly head on the horizon. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:01:00

nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:26:00

Joe must frink Dr. ZenZen, that German wine...a lot! Zentrifugal! - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:18:00

Good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:06:00

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Disastill

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Diz-as-til

Sentence: How could anyone ever be so disastill after that huge cataclysm! My stubbed foot will be in pain for days.

Etymology: Disaster (a catastrophy) + still (calm and unmoved)

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Placidhead

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: pla-sid-hed

Sentence: Dave had to be a placidhead because Jill was always chaotic.

Etymology: placid, acidhead

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Relaxemergent

nostalgia75

Created by: nostalgia75

Pronunciation: ri-laks-i-mur-juhnt

Sentence: When the intense fire broke out at the circus, Coco the clown was surprisingly the most relaxemergent person there.

Etymology: Relax: to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc. Emergent: calling for immediate action; urgent.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RELAXMERGERT?...out of the inkwelll.... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 13:05:00

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Unflutterby

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: butterfly + flutter

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James