Vote for the best verboticism.

'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Disafearance

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance

Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.

Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00

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Apocalypstoicism

Trystera

Created by: Trystera

Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"

Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.

Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism

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Unflutterby

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: butterfly + flutter

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Calmcentrate

Created by: iwasatripwire

Pronunciation: com-cen-trate

Sentence: I always put on my calmcentrating hat in a crisis.

Etymology: calm + concentrate

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COMMENTS:

nice - wordmeister, 2007-05-10: 00:43:00

Won't forget that one! - geoamnesia, 2007-05-10: 03:40:00

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Modusopergandhi

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mode us op er gan dee

Sentence: No matter what crisis happened at work or at home, Randy was a real modusopergandhi. He planned every detail, faithfully crossed achieved tasks off his to-do list and never allowed another's failure to plan to constitute an emergency on his part. He was the safety officer and very concientious about prevention and procedure. It then came as a great surprise to everyone, including him, when his girlfriend became unexpectedly pregnant. But then these things can happen when you are Randy...

Etymology: Modus Operandi (Latin for an unvarying or habitual method of procedure) & Gandhi (political and spiritual leader during India's struggle with Great Britain for home rule; an advocate of passive resistance (1869-1948. He always appeared calm and collected through physical and emotional strife)

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COMMENTS:

CharlieB :-) - CharlieB, 2011-04-15: 06:39:00

libertybelle cracked me up!!! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:35:00

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Freason

mishmish

Created by: mishmish

Pronunciation:

Sentence: I get so excited when I'm in front of all these people, but she just freasons.

Etymology: Freeze + reason

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Staotic

Created by: ekath

Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick

Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.

Etymology: from stable + chaotic

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Woethodical

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: woh-THOD-i-kuhl

Sentence: No matter what the crisis or meltdown at hand was, and even if it was obvious that there was little reason to believe it could be rationally managed, Bob's always took the same panickless, woethodical way of handling it, calmly uttering "She'll be right, mate."

Etymology: WOE: misfortune, calamity, anguish, tribulation, trial, wretchedness, melancholy. m-ETHODICAL: performed, disposed, or acting in a systematic way; systematic; orderly; painstaking, esp. slow and careful; deliberate

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx WOETHODICAL- Good one, Ozziebob! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:56:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James