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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Steadphased

Created by: fredini

Pronunciation: Stead-Phased

Sentence: Despite the massive denial of service attack and calls from the CFO, the sys-admin remained steadphased as he rebooted the server.

Etymology: Steadfast +Phased

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Apocalypstoicism

Trystera

Created by: Trystera

Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"

Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.

Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism

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Numbfreak

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: numm - freek

Sentence: Ted numbfreaked like a pro when he was told that everyone in the office was being fired. He took his coffee cup and he went home. Needless to say he won the numbfreak employee of the month award.

Etymology: numb (to be indifferent, non-feeling), freak (as in irrationally emotional, an anomoly)

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Sociologue

Created by: AlouattaPigra

Pronunciation: So see oh log

Sentence: "That damn Dane, always the sociologue! With everything so organized all the time, the need to sociologue spins me right 'round!" Said Lucielle so sharply that it made her own head hurt.

Etymology: Socio: L. Socius (companion) + Logue: Gk: Legein (say, count)

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Indexhaustive

CharlieB

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: in-decks-orst-ive

Sentence: In the face of disaster, Sarah got tunnel vision. As her exasperated boyfriend pakced his suitcase to leave for a new life, she followed him round and indexhaustively rearranged the books he wasn't taking into alphabetical order.

Etymology: index (to put into order) + exhaustive (tiring out, draining) + ex (former partner or spouse)

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COMMENTS:

cute - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00

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Tranquilamity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tran kwill am a tee

Sentence: His name was Placido The Gringo. He was a tech on 13th Floor who spoke the lingo. Besides his accessibility, he was blessed with sensibility and tranquilamity. When the alarms sounded flammibility in our facility, Placido shut down the systems auotmatically, with unflapability. While others did panic and behave manic, he was a stalwart systematic. Last to be rescued, he unfortunately miscued. It's a pity that the smoke affected his motility, so he'll now face permanent sterility. This will hurt him, no doubt, when his employer finds out. Because working for Xerox, Placido was in charge of reproductivity.

Etymology: Tranquility (a state of peace and quiet; a disposition free from stress or emotion)& Calamity (an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Cataclystoic

Created by: verysimplegame

Pronunciation: Cat-ah-cli-stow-ik

Sentence: While the other operators shrieked and tore at their clothes at the horrifying spectacle of the flame-engulfed servers, Cliff remained strangely catacylstoic.

Etymology: Catalclysm + stoic

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Pacifuss

Created by: SariEverna

Pronunciation: pas-i-fus

Sentence:

Etymology: pacify + fuss

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Disafearance

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance

Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.

Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James