Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Shitcreeksurfing
Created by: katytee
Pronunciation:
Sentence: One good thing about an outbreak of the Ebola virus was that the queues at Tesco's customer service desk were always greatly reduced, thought John - who was one of life's natural shitcreeksurfers, and a bit of a pedantic git.
Etymology: To be 'up shit creek without a paddle' and take the opportunity for a spot of healthy exercise on your canoe.
Apocalypstoicism
Created by: Trystera
Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"
Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.
Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism
Spock
Created by: autophile
Pronunciation: SPOCK
Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.
Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.
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COMMENTS:
Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00
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Browniechannelize
Created by: cohenarie
Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz
Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."
Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)
Chaotizen
Created by: brucee10
Pronunciation: Kay - ah - Ti - zen
Sentence: His chaotizen attitude was infuriating. How he could read a book during an multi-server crash, I'll never know.
Etymology: Chaotic + zen or chaos+ citizen(someone who lives in constant chaos and is not alarmed by it)
Indexhaustive
Created by: CharlieB
Pronunciation: in-decks-orst-ive
Sentence: In the face of disaster, Sarah got tunnel vision. As her exasperated boyfriend pakced his suitcase to leave for a new life, she followed him round and indexhaustively rearranged the books he wasn't taking into alphabetical order.
Etymology: index (to put into order) + exhaustive (tiring out, draining) + ex (former partner or spouse)
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COMMENTS:
cute - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00
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Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Browniejob
Created by: TimTheEnchanter
Pronunciation: BROW-nee-jahb
Sentence: When the massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles, the Governator refused to cancel his vacation to the Caribbean to help facilitate relief efforts, thus giving a big browniejob to the people of southern California.
Etymology: From the infamous pronouncement "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" by US President George W. Bush to FEMA director Mike Brown, whose organization was ineffective, bureaucratic, and just plain slow providing help to the people of New Orleans following the hurricane Katrina disaster. ALTERNATE/DISPUTED ETYMOLOGY: Refers to the victims of a disaster getting figuratively sh*t upon by the people in power who refuse to raise their energy level in the face of a crisis.
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COMMENTS:
BROWNIEJOB: damn straight! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:52:00
Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:25:00
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Zencompetent
Created by: benjamin
Pronunciation: rhymes with "incompetent"
Sentence: Sarah zencompetantly rounded up the 73 monkeys that had escaped from their cages; not a single one was injured, and Sarah avoided all of the flug poop.
Etymology: zen (calm, state of peace) + competent (competent)
Imperturbanate
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: im - per - TERB - uhn - ayt
Sentence: When suddenly faced with seemingly insurmountable difficulties Wilmont had the amazing capacity to remain absolutely cool and collected and to imperturbanate, while spreading his reassuring influence and give confidence to those about him.
Etymology: Based on the word imperturbable...(incapable of being upset or agitated; not easily excited; calm)
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COMMENTS:
IMPERTURBANATE is very creative and pronounceable- but i keep seeing a turban. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:52:00
I see the turb as being the first part of turbulent which would work well - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:39:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James