Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Staotic
Created by: ekath
Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick
Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.
Etymology: from stable + chaotic
Numbfreak
Created by: remistram
Pronunciation: numm - freek
Sentence: Ted numbfreaked like a pro when he was told that everyone in the office was being fired. He took his coffee cup and he went home. Needless to say he won the numbfreak employee of the month award.
Etymology: numb (to be indifferent, non-feeling), freak (as in irrationally emotional, an anomoly)
Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
----------------------------
Spock
Created by: autophile
Pronunciation: SPOCK
Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.
Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00
----------------------------
Femalusional
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL
Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.
Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00
super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00
Hey, crew ! Check this site out:
http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00
Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00
love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00
----------------------------
Hypnotwisted
Created by: heartnsoul
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Clark was so hypnotwisted in the face of adversity, Mary wanted to pull her hair out.
Etymology: hypnotist + twisted
Bluesbrothercool
Created by: jedijawa
Pronunciation: bloose-broth-her-cool
Sentence: Jack had a bluesbrothercool in how he dealt with things because even the greatest chaos didn't phase him.
Etymology: In the movie "The Blues Brothers" Jake and Elwood Blues were shot at, chased, blown up, threatened, and various other things while remaining calm and unflapable. They were the essence of bluesbrothercool.
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
I always just thought they were stoned - brucee10, 2007-05-10: 12:15:00
----------------------------
Fonzd
Created by: giveaphuk
Pronunciation: FO NZ D
Sentence: I was suprised how fonzd he was, considering the disaster unfolding around him.
Etymology: Fonzd, derived from Fonzie - "Happy Days" (played by Henry Wrinkler). I got the idea from infamous diner robbery scene, aka a huge freaking disaster, in movie "Pulp Fiction" when the Samual L. Jackson is saying 'Now everyone be cool like the fonz!'
Turtaculous
Created by: vetmommy2
Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss
Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)
Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00
----------------------------
Samuelel
Created by: playdohheart
Pronunciation: sam-u-uhl-El
Sentence: A constant state of samuelel is important when landing a plane infested with snakes or peacefully resolving the holdup of a diner.
Etymology: Every movie of Samuel L Jackson
Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James