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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Chaotizen

Created by: brucee10

Pronunciation: Kay - ah - Ti - zen

Sentence: His chaotizen attitude was infuriating. How he could read a book during an multi-server crash, I'll never know.

Etymology: Chaotic + zen or chaos+ citizen(someone who lives in constant chaos and is not alarmed by it)

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Browniechannelize

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz

Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."

Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)

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Analofile

Created by: ldikarev

Pronunciation: anal-O-file

Sentence: / We are expanding our local offices and looking for skilled, synergetic, analofiles. / Alternative spelling - analophile, analophil / Derivatives - analophilia

Etymology: anal(-retentive) + -phile (Greek - love, friendship)

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Logivere

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: loj - i - vir

Sentence: despite the insanity, we managed to logivere the situation, and solve each problem in turn.

Etymology: logic + persevere

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Bluesbrothercool

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bloose-broth-her-cool

Sentence: Jack had a bluesbrothercool in how he dealt with things because even the greatest chaos didn't phase him.

Etymology: In the movie "The Blues Brothers" Jake and Elwood Blues were shot at, chased, blown up, threatened, and various other things while remaining calm and unflapable. They were the essence of bluesbrothercool.

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COMMENTS:

I always just thought they were stoned - brucee10, 2007-05-10: 12:15:00

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Hystericool

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /hi-STER-i-kool/

Sentence: The whole family was going on summer vacation again — to Disney World this year — with Jane, her husband, their five kids, her in-laws and two cousins. Every year, it was Jane's job to organize the family's packing and get everyone ready to rush to the airport as soon as Jack, her husband, got home from work; and Jack was always late. With screaming kids running all around her, Jane calmly walked through the house, grabbed Grandpa Joe's medicine, Jennie's retainer, James' Game-Boy and Jill's iPod, dropped them into the appropriate suitcases while snatching a flying T-shirt out of the air and packing that too. While chaos erupted around her, Jane remained hystericool. She didn't even sweat a drop when she and Jack rode the Space Mountain ride. As the ride stopped, Jack leaned over and gave 'his Coolamity Jane' a smile and a big kiss.

Etymology: Hysterical - behavior characterized by excessive or uncontrollable emotion, such as fear or panic (from Greek, hysterikos "of the womb, suffering in the womb") + Cool - not excited; calm, especially during times of stress (from Pre-Germanic, koluz "cold, to freeze")

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx HYSTERICOOL is beautiful- and obviously based on an all-too-real personal experience. Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:58:00

great word tigger - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:33:00

Actually metro, I was thinking of the beginning of the movie 'Home Alone' and Catherine O'Hara's character when I wrote that. But anyone with that many kids to travel with ought to be a complete wreck, even if she does forget one... - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 10:54:00

I love it! And that "sentence!" We are all aspiring writers I think... :) Great read! - lumina, 2008-07-10: 18:43:00

Good one, Tigger...gives one hystericool laughter! - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:19:00

Another great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:24:00

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Steadyeddy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sted dee ed dee

Sentence: When Ed Dodds was faced with flooded streets in his hometown, after tornadoes and torrential rains, he remained calm and helped his neighbours. He organized boats to help steadyeddy them to higher ground and safety and kept up their spirits. He would have been eligible for a some kind of hero award, had he and his boat not ended up being beamed into a passing UFO spacecraft.Now his neighbours all call out to the skies, "E.D., phone home".

Etymology: Steady (steadfast, calm, reliable) & Eddy (swirling whirlpool or whirlwind and a guy's name)

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Tranquilamity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tran kwill am a tee

Sentence: His name was Placido The Gringo. He was a tech on 13th Floor who spoke the lingo. Besides his accessibility, he was blessed with sensibility and tranquilamity. When the alarms sounded flammibility in our facility, Placido shut down the systems auotmatically, with unflapability. While others did panic and behave manic, he was a stalwart systematic. Last to be rescued, he unfortunately miscued. It's a pity that the smoke affected his motility, so he'll now face permanent sterility. This will hurt him, no doubt, when his employer finds out. Because working for Xerox, Placido was in charge of reproductivity.

Etymology: Tranquility (a state of peace and quiet; a disposition free from stress or emotion)& Calamity (an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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Turtaculous

Created by: vetmommy2

Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss

Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)

Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...

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COMMENTS:

Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James