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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Staotic

Created by: ekath

Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick

Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.

Etymology: from stable + chaotic

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Chaostoicize

Created by: Clayton

Pronunciation: KEY-uh-STOH-i-sahyz

Sentence: Jeremy's uncanny ability to chaostoicize set him apart from the other rodeo clowns.

Etymology: chaos + stoic + ize

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Androitude

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: AHN - droi - tyood

Sentence: No, it wasn't the crashing of a plane infested with snakes or the holdup of the diner that made Samuel L. Jackson's girlfriend go ballistic and frantically screaming for help... it was actually his androitude.

Etymology: android (a systematic cyberhuman; we all know how freakishly organized C-3PO was) + attitude (disposition)

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Herosterics

Created by: janatic

Pronunciation:

Sentence: When the proverbial feces hits the fan, you can count on Stan to fall into herosterics.

Etymology: hero + hysterics

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Disastill

Created by: ziggy41

Pronunciation: Diz-as-til

Sentence: How could anyone ever be so disastill after that huge cataclysm! My stubbed foot will be in pain for days.

Etymology: Disaster (a catastrophy) + still (calm and unmoved)

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Inswerviate

Created by: rubysoho

Pronunciation: in-swerv-ee-ate

Sentence: When faced with a deadline that is complicated with challenge it is critical to not get off track. In these situations, inswerviants rise to the top. While their behavior may seem uptight on a normal day, their singlemindedness and unwillingness to swerve or deviate from a path can save the day when the heat is on.

Etymology:

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Bluesbrothercool

Created by: jedijawa

Pronunciation: bloose-broth-her-cool

Sentence: Jack had a bluesbrothercool in how he dealt with things because even the greatest chaos didn't phase him.

Etymology: In the movie "The Blues Brothers" Jake and Elwood Blues were shot at, chased, blown up, threatened, and various other things while remaining calm and unflapable. They were the essence of bluesbrothercool.

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COMMENTS:

I always just thought they were stoned - brucee10, 2007-05-10: 12:15:00

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Modusopergandhi

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mode us op er gan dee

Sentence: No matter what crisis happened at work or at home, Randy was a real modusopergandhi. He planned every detail, faithfully crossed achieved tasks off his to-do list and never allowed another's failure to plan to constitute an emergency on his part. He was the safety officer and very concientious about prevention and procedure. It then came as a great surprise to everyone, including him, when his girlfriend became unexpectedly pregnant. But then these things can happen when you are Randy...

Etymology: Modus Operandi (Latin for an unvarying or habitual method of procedure) & Gandhi (political and spiritual leader during India's struggle with Great Britain for home rule; an advocate of passive resistance (1869-1948. He always appeared calm and collected through physical and emotional strife)

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COMMENTS:

CharlieB :-) - CharlieB, 2011-04-15: 06:39:00

libertybelle cracked me up!!! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:35:00

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Nincalmpoop

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: nin/cawm/poop

Sentence: A nincalmpoop remains calm in an emergency because he doesn't understand its ramifications. e.g. Just stand with me under this tall oak tree until the thunder and lightening have stopped.

Etymology: nincompoop + calm

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COMMENTS:

Funny! - TJayzz, 2008-07-10: 10:24:00

Ditto - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:10:00

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James