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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Wolfowitz

uriash

Created by: uriash

Pronunciation: Wol-Fo-Witz

Sentence: Don't start Wolfowitzing now! You must run for your life!

Etymology: after Paul Wolfowitz

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Calmageddon

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Kalm-a-ged-don

Sentence: When a fire broke out in the office, the normally shy and retiring Harry really showed his calmageddon side, he organised everyone into single file and led them calmly out of the building whilst telling awful jokes that made them almost forget the peril they were in.

Etymology: Calm (peaceful and undisturbed, make or become tranquil or quiet) + Armageddon ( catastrophic conflict). (see also 1998 disaster movie) = Calmageddon

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CALMAGEDDON- nice. Very juxtapositional. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:54:00

great etymology - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:28:00

Great word AND "sentence." :) - lumina, 2008-07-10: 18:41:00

Another terrific word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-13: 18:09:00

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Staotic

Created by: ekath

Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick

Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.

Etymology: from stable + chaotic

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Catastaunch

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /kəˈtæˌstɔːntʃ/

Sentence: When calamity strikes, it's often surprising to see who steps up to catastaunch the flow of disaster; it's not always whom you expect.

Etymology: from catastrophe + staunch (meaning both "steadfast" and "to stop the flow of")

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Woethodical

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: woh-THOD-i-kuhl

Sentence: No matter what the crisis or meltdown at hand was, and even if it was obvious that there was little reason to believe it could be rationally managed, Bob's always took the same panickless, woethodical way of handling it, calmly uttering "She'll be right, mate."

Etymology: WOE: misfortune, calamity, anguish, tribulation, trial, wretchedness, melancholy. m-ETHODICAL: performed, disposed, or acting in a systematic way; systematic; orderly; painstaking, esp. slow and careful; deliberate

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx WOETHODICAL- Good one, Ozziebob! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:56:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

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Calmamity

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: kalm-AM-itty

Sentence: Now matter how dire the situation or severe the emergency, Lionel always maintained an air of serene calmamity, never losing his cool and handling matters quickly and completely.

Etymology: Blend of 'calm' (Not excited or agitated; composed) and 'calamity' ( a disaster or misfortune, esp one causing extreme havoc)

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COMMENTS:

I really like this. It's clever. :) - Rhyme79, 2012-09-07: 14:38:00

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Femalusional

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL

Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.

Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00

super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00

metrohumanx Hey, crew ! Check this site out: http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00

Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00

love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00

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Zensible

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Pronunciation: zen/si/bol

Sentence: Joe is zensible in the worst situations, remaining centered and focussed on what needs to be done to avert disaster and calmly following through.

Etymology: ZEN (calmness and enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation) + SENSIBLE (having, using, or showing good sense, or sound judgmen)

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Chilloose

Created by: eiggy

Pronunciation: chill+loose

Sentence: Shirley: Oh no! Fire-breathing miniature elephants have invaded Chicago! We're doomed! Wellington: Chilloosen up, honey. There's no way Oprah would allow that kind of nonsense.

Etymology: from Latin ciele (cold) and Middle English loos (free from bonds)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James