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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Browniechannelize

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz

Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."

Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)

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Fiascool

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fēˈaskoōl

Sentence: Kelly is completely unflappable to the point of being fiascool. In fact she could be classified as debaclaxed, accidentranquil or castrophlegmatic.

Etymology: fiasco (a thing that is a complete failure, esp. in a ludicrous or humiliating way) + cool (calmly audacious)

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Calmamity

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: kalm-AM-itty

Sentence: Now matter how dire the situation or severe the emergency, Lionel always maintained an air of serene calmamity, never losing his cool and handling matters quickly and completely.

Etymology: Blend of 'calm' (Not excited or agitated; composed) and 'calamity' ( a disaster or misfortune, esp one causing extreme havoc)

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COMMENTS:

I really like this. It's clever. :) - Rhyme79, 2012-09-07: 14:38:00

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Relaxemergent

nostalgia75

Created by: nostalgia75

Pronunciation: ri-laks-i-mur-juhnt

Sentence: When the intense fire broke out at the circus, Coco the clown was surprisingly the most relaxemergent person there.

Etymology: Relax: to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc. Emergent: calling for immediate action; urgent.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RELAXMERGERT?...out of the inkwelll.... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 13:05:00

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Analofile

Created by: ldikarev

Pronunciation: anal-O-file

Sentence: / We are expanding our local offices and looking for skilled, synergetic, analofiles. / Alternative spelling - analophile, analophil / Derivatives - analophilia

Etymology: anal(-retentive) + -phile (Greek - love, friendship)

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Tranquilamity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tran kwill am a tee

Sentence: His name was Placido The Gringo. He was a tech on 13th Floor who spoke the lingo. Besides his accessibility, he was blessed with sensibility and tranquilamity. When the alarms sounded flammibility in our facility, Placido shut down the systems auotmatically, with unflapability. While others did panic and behave manic, he was a stalwart systematic. Last to be rescued, he unfortunately miscued. It's a pity that the smoke affected his motility, so he'll now face permanent sterility. This will hurt him, no doubt, when his employer finds out. Because working for Xerox, Placido was in charge of reproductivity.

Etymology: Tranquility (a state of peace and quiet; a disposition free from stress or emotion)& Calamity (an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Cataclystoic

Created by: verysimplegame

Pronunciation: Cat-ah-cli-stow-ik

Sentence: While the other operators shrieked and tore at their clothes at the horrifying spectacle of the flame-engulfed servers, Cliff remained strangely catacylstoic.

Etymology: Catalclysm + stoic

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Apocalypstoicism

Trystera

Created by: Trystera

Pronunciation: "ah-POCK-uh-lips-TOE-iss-izm"

Sentence: His convertible was on fire, the killer in the backseat had a knife to his throat, and they were driving through the Rabid Grizzly Wildlife Refuge with the top down and two flat tires, but Ed merely smiled placidly and turned up the radio, his apocalypstoicism prevailing.

Etymology: Apocalypse + Stoicism

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James