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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Disafearance

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance

Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.

Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00

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Shitcreeksurfing

Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: One good thing about an outbreak of the Ebola virus was that the queues at Tesco's customer service desk were always greatly reduced, thought John - who was one of life's natural shitcreeksurfers, and a bit of a pedantic git.

Etymology: To be 'up shit creek without a paddle' and take the opportunity for a spot of healthy exercise on your canoe.

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Meritwon

Created by: fredm

Pronunciation: meh-rit-won

Sentence: As he served cake during the panic, his meritwon attitude insured he didn't lose his head.

Etymology: Marie Antoinette, the queen of cool

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Relaxemergent

nostalgia75

Created by: nostalgia75

Pronunciation: ri-laks-i-mur-juhnt

Sentence: When the intense fire broke out at the circus, Coco the clown was surprisingly the most relaxemergent person there.

Etymology: Relax: to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc. Emergent: calling for immediate action; urgent.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RELAXMERGERT?...out of the inkwelll.... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 13:05:00

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Staotic

Created by: ekath

Pronunciation: stay-ot-tick

Sentence: Todd is so staotic that he didn't even cry out when the acid splashed in his face... he just calmly went over and pulled the safety shower. When it fire-hosed him into the ground, he shakily stood up and asked to go to the nurse's office. Carol should have been more like Todd.

Etymology: from stable + chaotic

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Calmamity

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: kalm-AM-itty

Sentence: Now matter how dire the situation or severe the emergency, Lionel always maintained an air of serene calmamity, never losing his cool and handling matters quickly and completely.

Etymology: Blend of 'calm' (Not excited or agitated; composed) and 'calamity' ( a disaster or misfortune, esp one causing extreme havoc)

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COMMENTS:

I really like this. It's clever. :) - Rhyme79, 2012-09-07: 14:38:00

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Femalusional

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL

Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.

Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00

super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00

metrohumanx Hey, crew ! Check this site out: http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00

Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00

love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00

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Cataclystoic

Created by: verysimplegame

Pronunciation: Cat-ah-cli-stow-ik

Sentence: While the other operators shrieked and tore at their clothes at the horrifying spectacle of the flame-engulfed servers, Cliff remained strangely catacylstoic.

Etymology: Catalclysm + stoic

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Supermanual

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: soo purr man ewe ahl

Sentence: The Supermanual did everything for by the book, which is why she bought him the Kama Sutra for Christmas. unfortunately it was in Spanish, sohe had to have it translated by his cousin, the Supermanuel

Etymology: superman manual (manuel)

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Spock

Created by: autophile

Pronunciation: SPOCK

Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.

Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.

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COMMENTS:

Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James