Verboticisms

Created by: vetmommy2

Pronunciation: turr-tack-you-luss

Sentence: The preacher's remarkable focus on his sermon was turtaculous in the midst of the absolute spectacle created when the bewildered and astonished parents of the streaking toddler ran after her up the aisle of the overcrowded and sweltering church. (OK, this didn't actually happen, but easily could have when my toddler removed all her clothes in the cry room at church a few weekends ago and then grabbed the doorknob to let herself out...)

Etymology: turtle + spectacular + fabulous: imagining a turtle pulling its head and stuff into its shell as the mad world goes racing and clamoring past it...

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COMMENTS:

Very interesting:love the "turtle" element. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:13:00

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Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance

Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.

Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.

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COMMENTS:

DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00

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Created by: TimTheEnchanter

Pronunciation: BROW-nee-jahb

Sentence: When the massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles, the Governator refused to cancel his vacation to the Caribbean to help facilitate relief efforts, thus giving a big browniejob to the people of southern California.

Etymology: From the infamous pronouncement "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" by US President George W. Bush to FEMA director Mike Brown, whose organization was ineffective, bureaucratic, and just plain slow providing help to the people of New Orleans following the hurricane Katrina disaster. ALTERNATE/DISPUTED ETYMOLOGY: Refers to the victims of a disaster getting figuratively sh*t upon by the people in power who refuse to raise their energy level in the face of a crisis.

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COMMENTS:

BROWNIEJOB: damn straight! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:52:00

Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:25:00

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Created by: fredini

Pronunciation: Stead-Phased

Sentence: Despite the massive denial of service attack and calls from the CFO, the sys-admin remained steadphased as he rebooted the server.

Etymology: Steadfast +Phased

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Created by: heartnsoul

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Clark was so hypnotwisted in the face of adversity, Mary wanted to pull her hair out.

Etymology: hypnotist + twisted

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Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: fee/as/cool

Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.

Etymology: fiasco + cool

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COMMENTS:

he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00

Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fēˈaskoōl

Sentence: Kelly is completely unflappable to the point of being fiascool. In fact she could be classified as debaclaxed, accidentranquil or castrophlegmatic.

Etymology: fiasco (a thing that is a complete failure, esp. in a ludicrous or humiliating way) + cool (calmly audacious)

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Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: medirate

Sentence: The Situation was abso-bruce-funkin'-lee out of control but he medirated the whole maelstrom down to the two important factors for survival: stay cool ! After medirating for a second i knew exactly what to do.

Etymology: meditation + rational + rate

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Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: One good thing about an outbreak of the Ebola virus was that the queues at Tesco's customer service desk were always greatly reduced, thought John - who was one of life's natural shitcreeksurfers, and a bit of a pedantic git.

Etymology: To be 'up shit creek without a paddle' and take the opportunity for a spot of healthy exercise on your canoe.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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