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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Femalusional

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL

Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.

Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00

super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00

metrohumanx Hey, crew ! Check this site out: http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00

Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00

love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00

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Samuelel

playdohheart

Created by: playdohheart

Pronunciation: sam-u-uhl-El

Sentence: A constant state of samuelel is important when landing a plane infested with snakes or peacefully resolving the holdup of a diner.

Etymology: Every movie of Samuel L Jackson

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Compunonpluss

Created by: heb319

Pronunciation: compu non plus

Sentence: As flames engulfed the building, Jack compunonplussed about to complete his filing before he escaped through the window.

Etymology: compulsive nonplussed

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Sociologue

Created by: AlouattaPigra

Pronunciation: So see oh log

Sentence: "That damn Dane, always the sociologue! With everything so organized all the time, the need to sociologue spins me right 'round!" Said Lucielle so sharply that it made her own head hurt.

Etymology: Socio: L. Socius (companion) + Logue: Gk: Legein (say, count)

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Hystericool

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /hi-STER-i-kool/

Sentence: The whole family was going on summer vacation again — to Disney World this year — with Jane, her husband, their five kids, her in-laws and two cousins. Every year, it was Jane's job to organize the family's packing and get everyone ready to rush to the airport as soon as Jack, her husband, got home from work; and Jack was always late. With screaming kids running all around her, Jane calmly walked through the house, grabbed Grandpa Joe's medicine, Jennie's retainer, James' Game-Boy and Jill's iPod, dropped them into the appropriate suitcases while snatching a flying T-shirt out of the air and packing that too. While chaos erupted around her, Jane remained hystericool. She didn't even sweat a drop when she and Jack rode the Space Mountain ride. As the ride stopped, Jack leaned over and gave 'his Coolamity Jane' a smile and a big kiss.

Etymology: Hysterical - behavior characterized by excessive or uncontrollable emotion, such as fear or panic (from Greek, hysterikos "of the womb, suffering in the womb") + Cool - not excited; calm, especially during times of stress (from Pre-Germanic, koluz "cold, to freeze")

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx HYSTERICOOL is beautiful- and obviously based on an all-too-real personal experience. Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:58:00

great word tigger - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:33:00

Actually metro, I was thinking of the beginning of the movie 'Home Alone' and Catherine O'Hara's character when I wrote that. But anyone with that many kids to travel with ought to be a complete wreck, even if she does forget one... - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 10:54:00

I love it! And that "sentence!" We are all aspiring writers I think... :) Great read! - lumina, 2008-07-10: 18:43:00

Good one, Tigger...gives one hystericool laughter! - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:19:00

Another great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:24:00

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Catatoniclysmic

Created by: airlie

Pronunciation: KAT-a-ton-uh-KLIZ-mic

Sentence: Gazing upon Geraldine's panicked visage, Irving remained catatoniclysmic. He knew what to do. This was no crisis, this was merely one of those moments that make life worth smiling about. "AAAAHGGGH!" screeched Geraldine. "My hair! Don't let them see me like this!" She gripped his shirt, knuckles white, fabric strained to button-popping point. Irving blinked slowly, and a beatific smile spread across his face. "Don't panic, honey." He soothed. "I'm the sysadmin! I'll 403 everyone." Geraldine breathed a sigh of relief... and her relief lasted for a millesecond until she caught sight of her fire-engine red and day-old-bruise purple coiffe in the mirror. She fled to the bathroom in hysterics. Irving blinked slowly.

Etymology: CATACLYSM: any violent upheaval, esp. one of a social or political nature + CATATONIC, adjectival form of CATATONIA: a syndrome seen most frequently in schizophrenia, characterized by muscular rigidity and mental stupor, sometimes alternating with great excitement and confusion

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CATATONICLYSMIC is hilarious! Great word, Airlie... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 08:02:00

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:29:00

Very gloomly; very great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:11:00

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Unrufflood

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: un/ruff/flud

Sentence: He remained completely unrufflood even when the rising waters were close to his chin.

Etymology: unruffled + flood

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx UNRUFFLOOD- a very fluid interpretation, mon! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:48:00

Nice flow about it. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:12:00

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Imperturbanate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: im - per - TERB - uhn - ayt

Sentence: When suddenly faced with seemingly insurmountable difficulties Wilmont had the amazing capacity to remain absolutely cool and collected and to imperturbanate, while spreading his reassuring influence and give confidence to those about him.

Etymology: Based on the word imperturbable...(incapable of being upset or agitated; not easily excited; calm)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx IMPERTURBANATE is very creative and pronounceable- but i keep seeing a turban. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:52:00

I see the turb as being the first part of turbulent which would work well - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:39:00

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Hocusfocus

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ho/cus/fo/cus

Sentence: It was Black Monday, the stock market was crashing and with all the wild rumours, panic, hysteria and insanity trader Davis Smith was in the state of hocusfocus, buying, selling, shorting and stabilizing his clients' portfolios among the doomsdayers and panic traders.

Etymology: hocus pocus + focus

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James