Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Zencompetent
Created by: benjamin
Pronunciation: rhymes with "incompetent"
Sentence: Sarah zencompetantly rounded up the 73 monkeys that had escaped from their cages; not a single one was injured, and Sarah avoided all of the flug poop.
Etymology: zen (calm, state of peace) + competent (competent)
Indexhaustive
Created by: CharlieB
Pronunciation: in-decks-orst-ive
Sentence: In the face of disaster, Sarah got tunnel vision. As her exasperated boyfriend pakced his suitcase to leave for a new life, she followed him round and indexhaustively rearranged the books he wasn't taking into alphabetical order.
Etymology: index (to put into order) + exhaustive (tiring out, draining) + ex (former partner or spouse)
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COMMENTS:
cute - Nosila, 2011-04-15: 11:30:00
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Chilloose
Created by: eiggy
Pronunciation: chill+loose
Sentence: Shirley: Oh no! Fire-breathing miniature elephants have invaded Chicago! We're doomed! Wellington: Chilloosen up, honey. There's no way Oprah would allow that kind of nonsense.
Etymology: from Latin ciele (cold) and Middle English loos (free from bonds)
Fiascool
Created by: pinwheel
Pronunciation: fee/as/cool
Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.
Etymology: fiasco + cool
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COMMENTS:
he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00
Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00
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Modusopergandhi
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: mode us op er gan dee
Sentence: No matter what crisis happened at work or at home, Randy was a real modusopergandhi. He planned every detail, faithfully crossed achieved tasks off his to-do list and never allowed another's failure to plan to constitute an emergency on his part. He was the safety officer and very concientious about prevention and procedure. It then came as a great surprise to everyone, including him, when his girlfriend became unexpectedly pregnant. But then these things can happen when you are Randy...
Etymology: Modus Operandi (Latin for an unvarying or habitual method of procedure) & Gandhi (political and spiritual leader during India's struggle with Great Britain for home rule; an advocate of passive resistance (1869-1948. He always appeared calm and collected through physical and emotional strife)
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COMMENTS:
:-) - CharlieB, 2011-04-15: 06:39:00
cracked me up!!! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:35:00
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Relaxemergent
Created by: nostalgia75
Pronunciation: ri-laks-i-mur-juhnt
Sentence: When the intense fire broke out at the circus, Coco the clown was surprisingly the most relaxemergent person there.
Etymology: Relax: to release oneself from inhibition, worry, tension, etc. Emergent: calling for immediate action; urgent.
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COMMENTS:
RELAXMERGERT?...out of the inkwelll.... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 13:05:00
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Pacifuss
Created by: SariEverna
Pronunciation: pas-i-fus
Sentence:
Etymology: pacify + fuss
Inswerviate
Created by: rubysoho
Pronunciation: in-swerv-ee-ate
Sentence: When faced with a deadline that is complicated with challenge it is critical to not get off track. In these situations, inswerviants rise to the top. While their behavior may seem uptight on a normal day, their singlemindedness and unwillingness to swerve or deviate from a path can save the day when the heat is on.
Etymology:
Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James