Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Spock
Created by: autophile
Pronunciation: SPOCK
Sentence: Ron's boss panicked because his boss's boss panicked, and on up the line because sh*t flows downhill, but Ron casually spocked the problem and there was panic no more.
Etymology: From Star Trek's unflappable rational scientist, Mr. Spock.
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COMMENTS:
Gotta love Spock. In real life, he's a poet as well. I think he'd approve of Verbotomy. - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-10: 19:37:00
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Herosterics
Created by: janatic
Pronunciation:
Sentence: When the proverbial feces hits the fan, you can count on Stan to fall into herosterics.
Etymology: hero + hysterics
Unrufflood
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: un/ruff/flud
Sentence: He remained completely unrufflood even when the rising waters were close to his chin.
Etymology: unruffled + flood
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COMMENTS:
UNRUFFLOOD- a very fluid interpretation, mon! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:48:00
Nice flow about it. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:12:00
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Steadphased
Created by: fredini
Pronunciation: Stead-Phased
Sentence: Despite the massive denial of service attack and calls from the CFO, the sys-admin remained steadphased as he rebooted the server.
Etymology: Steadfast +Phased
Inswerviate
Created by: rubysoho
Pronunciation: in-swerv-ee-ate
Sentence: When faced with a deadline that is complicated with challenge it is critical to not get off track. In these situations, inswerviants rise to the top. While their behavior may seem uptight on a normal day, their singlemindedness and unwillingness to swerve or deviate from a path can save the day when the heat is on.
Etymology:
Borgwart
Created by: serendipity9000
Pronunciation: BORG-war-t
Sentence: I was freaking out! They said we had to evacuate - but Joe was a total borgwart, kept carrying boxes of our stuff to the car until they blocked the door and forced us to drive away.
Etymology: borg (and who was more systematic than the borg) + wart (often used as suffix for person as in stalwart or worrywart)
Nincalmpoop
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: nin/cawm/poop
Sentence: A nincalmpoop remains calm in an emergency because he doesn't understand its ramifications. e.g. Just stand with me under this tall oak tree until the thunder and lightening have stopped.
Etymology: nincompoop + calm
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COMMENTS:
Funny! - TJayzz, 2008-07-10: 10:24:00
Ditto - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:10:00
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Zensible
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: Pronunciation: zen/si/bol
Sentence: Joe is zensible in the worst situations, remaining centered and focussed on what needs to be done to avert disaster and calmly following through.
Etymology: ZEN (calmness and enlightenment through meditation and self-contemplation) + SENSIBLE (having, using, or showing good sense, or sound judgmen)
Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James