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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Hurricalm

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: hurry-calm

Sentence: Bazza's laconic, lethargic style had a hurricalming influence as the townsfolk gathered to shelter from the cyclone.

Etymology: hurricane + calm

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COMMENTS:

I think we were on the same catastophic wavelength today - nice one - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-10: 12:13:00

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Browniechannelize

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz

Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."

Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)

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Tranquilamity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tran kwill am a tee

Sentence: His name was Placido The Gringo. He was a tech on 13th Floor who spoke the lingo. Besides his accessibility, he was blessed with sensibility and tranquilamity. When the alarms sounded flammibility in our facility, Placido shut down the systems auotmatically, with unflapability. While others did panic and behave manic, he was a stalwart systematic. Last to be rescued, he unfortunately miscued. It's a pity that the smoke affected his motility, so he'll now face permanent sterility. This will hurt him, no doubt, when his employer finds out. Because working for Xerox, Placido was in charge of reproductivity.

Etymology: Tranquility (a state of peace and quiet; a disposition free from stress or emotion)& Calamity (an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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Chaotizen

Created by: brucee10

Pronunciation: Kay - ah - Ti - zen

Sentence: His chaotizen attitude was infuriating. How he could read a book during an multi-server crash, I'll never know.

Etymology: Chaotic + zen or chaos+ citizen(someone who lives in constant chaos and is not alarmed by it)

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Meritwon

Created by: fredm

Pronunciation: meh-rit-won

Sentence: As he served cake during the panic, his meritwon attitude insured he didn't lose his head.

Etymology: Marie Antoinette, the queen of cool

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Calmamity

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: kalm-AM-itty

Sentence: Now matter how dire the situation or severe the emergency, Lionel always maintained an air of serene calmamity, never losing his cool and handling matters quickly and completely.

Etymology: Blend of 'calm' (Not excited or agitated; composed) and 'calamity' ( a disaster or misfortune, esp one causing extreme havoc)

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COMMENTS:

I really like this. It's clever. :) - Rhyme79, 2012-09-07: 14:38:00

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Herosterics

Created by: janatic

Pronunciation:

Sentence: When the proverbial feces hits the fan, you can count on Stan to fall into herosterics.

Etymology: hero + hysterics

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Systematicool

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sys-tem-a-ti-cool

Sentence: Each year geeks from all over the country make their pilgrimage t0 Star Trek conventions to pay homage to Mr. Spock - the loveable Vulcan who epitomized geekchic. He is an icon because he was always so systematicool, methodicool and analyticool. When the Klingons attacked and the rest of the starship freaked out, he stayed in control at all times and eventually saved all their hides by logic.

Etymology: systematic + cool

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Modusopergandhi

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mode us op er gan dee

Sentence: No matter what crisis happened at work or at home, Randy was a real modusopergandhi. He planned every detail, faithfully crossed achieved tasks off his to-do list and never allowed another's failure to plan to constitute an emergency on his part. He was the safety officer and very concientious about prevention and procedure. It then came as a great surprise to everyone, including him, when his girlfriend became unexpectedly pregnant. But then these things can happen when you are Randy...

Etymology: Modus Operandi (Latin for an unvarying or habitual method of procedure) & Gandhi (political and spiritual leader during India's struggle with Great Britain for home rule; an advocate of passive resistance (1869-1948. He always appeared calm and collected through physical and emotional strife)

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COMMENTS:

CharlieB :-) - CharlieB, 2011-04-15: 06:39:00

libertybelle cracked me up!!! - libertybelle, 2011-04-15: 07:35:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James