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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Browniechannelize

Created by: cohenarie

Pronunciation: brow ne CHAN el iz

Sentence: As liquid began to flood from the clogged restaurant toilet, I browniechannelized - stepping carefully out of the bathroom, to avoid soiling my shoes, I passed the problem on to a waitress, indicating that "someone might need to check the women's restroom."

Etymology: "Yer doing a great job, Brownie." I focused on the 'plodding' aspect of the definition (and the absense of any indication that the reaction was effective or appropriate.)

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Pacifuss

Created by: SariEverna

Pronunciation: pas-i-fus

Sentence:

Etymology: pacify + fuss

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Medirate

Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: medirate

Sentence: The Situation was abso-bruce-funkin'-lee out of control but he medirated the whole maelstrom down to the two important factors for survival: stay cool ! After medirating for a second i knew exactly what to do.

Etymology: meditation + rational + rate

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Hurricalm

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: hurry-calm

Sentence: Bazza's laconic, lethargic style had a hurricalming influence as the townsfolk gathered to shelter from the cyclone.

Etymology: hurricane + calm

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COMMENTS:

I think we were on the same catastophic wavelength today - nice one - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-10: 12:13:00

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Borgwart

Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: BORG-war-t

Sentence: I was freaking out! They said we had to evacuate - but Joe was a total borgwart, kept carrying boxes of our stuff to the car until they blocked the door and forced us to drive away.

Etymology: borg (and who was more systematic than the borg) + wart (often used as suffix for person as in stalwart or worrywart)

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Woethodical

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: woh-THOD-i-kuhl

Sentence: No matter what the crisis or meltdown at hand was, and even if it was obvious that there was little reason to believe it could be rationally managed, Bob's always took the same panickless, woethodical way of handling it, calmly uttering "She'll be right, mate."

Etymology: WOE: misfortune, calamity, anguish, tribulation, trial, wretchedness, melancholy. m-ETHODICAL: performed, disposed, or acting in a systematic way; systematic; orderly; painstaking, esp. slow and careful; deliberate

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx WOETHODICAL- Good one, Ozziebob! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:56:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

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Supermanual

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: soo purr man ewe ahl

Sentence: The Supermanual did everything for by the book, which is why she bought him the Kama Sutra for Christmas. unfortunately it was in Spanish, sohe had to have it translated by his cousin, the Supermanuel

Etymology: superman manual (manuel)

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Zencompetent

Created by: benjamin

Pronunciation: rhymes with "incompetent"

Sentence: Sarah zencompetantly rounded up the 73 monkeys that had escaped from their cages; not a single one was injured, and Sarah avoided all of the flug poop.

Etymology: zen (calm, state of peace) + competent (competent)

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Femalusional

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FEE-MUH-LOOSH-UH-NULL

Sentence: Ever since his apartment fire, James had become unsufferably FEEMALUSIONAL. He traveled with a fire extinguisher, kept a stock of bottled water in the attic, had a medical kit the size of a fooslocker, a portable degenerator and a satellite phone with GPS...yet his pandering scoutmaster attitude and hopelessly optimistic pseudocheerfulness in the face of impending disaster forced his peers to reject him like a transplanted baboon heart.

Etymology: FEMA:Federal Emergency Management Agency + DELUSIONAL:A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx It can't happen here. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:47:00

super important to read the etymology on this one metro but great blend - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:32:00

metrohumanx Hey, crew ! Check this site out: http://www.blackstump.com.au/ - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 09:36:00

Good one, metrohumanx...a woman doing what James did would be a Fema Fatale, n'est-ce pas? - Nosila, 2008-07-10: 23:13:00

love your etymology. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:16:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James