Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.
Verboticisms
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Calmandant
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: colm man dant
Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!
Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)
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COMMENTS:
"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00
CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00
very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00
Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00
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Placidhead
Created by: toadstool57
Pronunciation: pla-sid-hed
Sentence: Dave had to be a placidhead because Jill was always chaotic.
Etymology: placid, acidhead
Unrufflood
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: un/ruff/flud
Sentence: He remained completely unrufflood even when the rising waters were close to his chin
Etymology: unruffled + flood
Calmcentrate
Created by: iwasatripwire
Pronunciation: com-cen-trate
Sentence: I always put on my calmcentrating hat in a crisis.
Etymology: calm + concentrate
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COMMENTS:
nice - wordmeister, 2007-05-10: 00:43:00
Won't forget that one! - geoamnesia, 2007-05-10: 03:40:00
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Systematicool
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: sys-tem-a-ti-cool
Sentence: Each year geeks from all over the country make their pilgrimage t0 Star Trek conventions to pay homage to Mr. Spock - the loveable Vulcan who epitomized geekchic. He is an icon because he was always so systematicool, methodicool and analyticool. When the Klingons attacked and the rest of the starship freaked out, he stayed in control at all times and eventually saved all their hides by logic.
Etymology: systematic + cool
Fiascool
Created by: pinwheel
Pronunciation: fee/as/cool
Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.
Etymology: fiasco + cool
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COMMENTS:
he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00
Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00
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Disastrotranquillize
Created by: duchessella
Pronunciation: di-sas-tro-TRAN-qui-lize
Sentence: My life is a wreck right now; I wish I can disastrotranquillize and sort out everything!
Etymology: Disaster + Tranquillize
Placidifize
Created by: daisy
Pronunciation: pla-si-di-fize
Sentence: Don't placidifize me, with those pictures on the internet, I will never be president!
Etymology:
Nincalmpoop
Created by: bookowl
Pronunciation: nin/cawm/poop
Sentence: A nincalmpoop remains calm in an emergency because he doesn't understand its ramifications. e.g. Just stand with me under this tall oak tree until the thunder and lightening have stopped.
Etymology: nincompoop + calm
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COMMENTS:
Funny! - TJayzz, 2008-07-10: 10:24:00
Ditto - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:10:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James