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'Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!'

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Verboticisms

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Calmandant

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: colm man dant

Sentence: His real name was Edward Edwards, but we called him Steady Eddie. His middle name was Danger, you just knew it. He was the Safety Officer at work. You know, the guy they have to have on staff by law, who has weekly boring meetings, who arranges first-aid classes ad nauseum, who sends out zillions of safety tips and preventative brochures. You know, the guy who loves to organize fire drills, creates emergency preparedness policies, who lives for Fire Prevention Week or news of the Pandemic,who arranges yearly flu shots, who handles bomb scares, suicide preventions, does random drug testing and tries to beat his last timed evacuation record. He can't wait to have to call the CDC in Atlanta, the FAA, ER, SWAT,Interpol, WCB,EPA, FireRescue, Coast Guard, National Guard and any other agencies on his speed-dial. He lives to test our flashlight batteries, extinguishers, carbon monoxide detectors and the oxygen masks that he has installed over our desks, like the airlines. Don't get me wrong, we need guys like Steady Eddie, but did he have to enjoy a career based on potential tragedy so much? Although excited by the prospect of a looming calamity, he always remained cool, calm and efficient. Steady Eddie was the Master of Disaster; he was the AntiCrisis; the Apocalypse Mao; The Tragically Equipped; Genghis Yes-You-Can; Attila The Nine-One-One; Napoleon Bones-a-part; The Wizard of Gauze...Yes, he was our own Calmandant. They said he even stayed calm when the aliens abducted him one morning and took him with them to probe at will, never to get to wear his reflective safety vest and clipboard again. There's just no known drill to prevent that kind of incident!

Etymology: calm (steadiness of mind under stress;marked by freedom from agitation or excitement) & commandant (someone in an official position of authority who can command or control others)

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COMMENTS:

"Apocalypse Mao" was just too funny! Excellent. - Tigger, 2008-07-10: 02:03:00

metrohumanx CALMANDANT is cool- Steady Eddy is just the kind of take-charge guy we need ......not - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:50:00

very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:37:00

Steady Eddie is indeed needed in these types of situations, - at least, he'd keep everyone laughing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:23:00

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Zencompetent

Created by: benjamin

Pronunciation: rhymes with "incompetent"

Sentence: Sarah zencompetantly rounded up the 73 monkeys that had escaped from their cages; not a single one was injured, and Sarah avoided all of the flug poop.

Etymology: zen (calm, state of peace) + competent (competent)

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Tranquilamity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tran kwill am a tee

Sentence: His name was Placido The Gringo. He was a tech on 13th Floor who spoke the lingo. Besides his accessibility, he was blessed with sensibility and tranquilamity. When the alarms sounded flammibility in our facility, Placido shut down the systems auotmatically, with unflapability. While others did panic and behave manic, he was a stalwart systematic. Last to be rescued, he unfortunately miscued. It's a pity that the smoke affected his motility, so he'll now face permanent sterility. This will hurt him, no doubt, when his employer finds out. Because working for Xerox, Placido was in charge of reproductivity.

Etymology: Tranquility (a state of peace and quiet; a disposition free from stress or emotion)& Calamity (an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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Calmageddon

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Kalm-a-ged-don

Sentence: When a fire broke out in the office, the normally shy and retiring Harry really showed his calmageddon side, he organised everyone into single file and led them calmly out of the building whilst telling awful jokes that made them almost forget the peril they were in.

Etymology: Calm (peaceful and undisturbed, make or become tranquil or quiet) + Armageddon ( catastrophic conflict). (see also 1998 disaster movie) = Calmageddon

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx CALMAGEDDON- nice. Very juxtapositional. - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 07:54:00

great etymology - Jabberwocky, 2008-07-10: 09:28:00

Great word AND "sentence." :) - lumina, 2008-07-10: 18:41:00

Another terrific word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-13: 18:09:00

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Fiascool

Created by: pinwheel

Pronunciation: fee/as/cool

Sentence: The caterers were running late, the flowers were wilting, the groom was still running around naked after his stag night and I was struggling to get into my dress. It was all a horrible mess but throughout it all James, the best man, was totally fiascool.

Etymology: fiasco + cool

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COMMENTS:

he probably went to fiaschool! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-10: 07:18:00

petaj Maybe he had studied how to remain calm. He was a fiascholar. - petaj, 2007-05-11: 02:13:00

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Logivere

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: loj - i - vir

Sentence: despite the insanity, we managed to logivere the situation, and solve each problem in turn.

Etymology: logic + persevere

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Disafearance

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: dis/a/feer/ance

Sentence: When Julie found herself on an emergency Walmart run at 2 in the morning, she was glad she had mastered disafearance. No way did she want her ex and his model girlfriend to know how humiliated she was to be seen in her holey sweats as well as braless.

Etymology: the ability to "disappear" from the siight of others due to intense "fear" of being seen.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx DISAFEARANCE needed in a brave new world... - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:54:00

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Systemaddict

whipspeak

Created by: whipspeak

Pronunciation: sis-tuhm ad-ikt

Sentence: Even after his family and friend hosted a very nice intervention, norbertfineblatjr.com was still in systemaddict denial.

Etymology: System: given to or using a system or method + addict: to habituate to something compulsively or obsessively

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COMMENTS:

your word is addictive - Nosila, 2009-11-26: 18:57:00

whipspeak I can recommend a good program - whipspeak, 2009-11-27: 10:16:00

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Androitude

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: AHN - droi - tyood

Sentence: No, it wasn't the crashing of a plane infested with snakes or the holdup of the diner that made Samuel L. Jackson's girlfriend go ballistic and frantically screaming for help... it was actually his androitude.

Etymology: android (a systematic cyberhuman; we all know how freakishly organized C-3PO was) + attitude (disposition)

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Browniejob

TimTheEnchanter

Created by: TimTheEnchanter

Pronunciation: BROW-nee-jahb

Sentence: When the massive 7.4 magnitude earthquake struck Los Angeles, the Governator refused to cancel his vacation to the Caribbean to help facilitate relief efforts, thus giving a big browniejob to the people of southern California.

Etymology: From the infamous pronouncement "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job!" by US President George W. Bush to FEMA director Mike Brown, whose organization was ineffective, bureaucratic, and just plain slow providing help to the people of New Orleans following the hurricane Katrina disaster. ALTERNATE/DISPUTED ETYMOLOGY: Refers to the victims of a disaster getting figuratively sh*t upon by the people in power who refuse to raise their energy level in the face of a crisis.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx BROWNIEJOB: damn straight! - metrohumanx, 2008-07-10: 20:52:00

Terrific. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-07-11: 18:25:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-10: 00:01:00
Today's definition was inspired by Cory Doctorow's short story "When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth" which is published in Overclocked, and was suggested by autophile. Thank you Cory and autophile! ~ James

nostalgia75 nostalgia75 - 2008-07-10: 13:08:00
I'm still grinning at this one. Well done!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-11-26: 00:04:00
Today's definition was suggested by doctorow. Thank you doctorow. ~ James